I Think One If The Saddest Things Is When You Don’t Want Anything Anymore. You’re Not In Despair,

Torn between wanting people to worry and not wanting to worry anyone

I hate crying in front of people so much. I always swallow the sadnees, the pain, whatever is making me feel like crap until i go home and i get to cry alone at home, is not good to cry but i like doing it alone, not in front of everyone, that’s why i know i hit deep bottom when i start crying infront of people, when tears start falling and people are hugging me telling me nice words, that’s when i know, that all the pain and stress i have been keeping like a pet, is not worthy.

THOSE PAWS 😍

Strong heart, strong body

Welcome to my first time ever writing something on Tumblr.

In this universe Jean is alive because if she dies it would ruin the story that i already made up in my head lol so suck it up and have some imagination.

English is not my first language and oh god i am trying so hard to choose words that aren´t simple or cringey because of my poor fucing english. Any how, please enjoy.

╭──╯ . . . . .╭──╯ . . . . .╭──╯ . . . . .╭──╯ . . . . .╭──╯ . . . . .

You really did loved him. No. More than that, you were obsessed with all of him, admired him, your heart was beating only for him.

At first it was pure admiration, he was strong and even though sometimes he was too grumpy and stuborn, he cared, he cared for Rouge, Strom, Charles even Scott (he probably will never admit it) and he cared the most for Jean. Oh boy how much he cared for her, the first time he saw her was like love at first sight for him, he didn´t give a shit that she was with Eric, he didn´t care about trying to flirt with her in front of her boyfriend, he was so submerged in all of Jean´s existance.

But as some time went by, you and Logan started getting along, at first you were only teammates, working together at training your students, but you grew fond of each other, spending time together alone, having really private conversations and emotional talks every night.

Damn he sometimes would even put his arm around you, kiss the top of your head and even gave you compliments, ( they were kind of suggestive too your liking but a compliment at the end of the day) he was just so touchy with you, you wanted to just melt in his hands and live as a melted being so he could take care of you.

¨Aye¨ his voice made you react, you were out in the balcony watching the sky, it was already kind of late and windy but it felt so fresh that you stayed maybe too long out.

¨You scared me¨ he walked next to you, he had the grey hoodie he took the first time he met the Professor. ¨Sorry kid¨ He still referring to you as kid, yeah you were younger than him but you were a grown woman and a teacher, so that nickname gives you a weird feeling since you were a bit too old to be called kid. ¨Just because you are more tha a hundred yeard older than me doesn´t mean im still a kid¨ He chuckled a bit ¨Well, can´t help it, i have a right to call everyone kid¨ You raised one eyebrow ¨Even the Professor?¨ He paused for like two seconds and look at the sky ¨Maybe not him¨

You stared at his profile, the wind hitting his hair and he just looked so ugh so beautiful and hot, he had his hoodie a little bit unzipped so you could see a bit of his chest. His musuclar chest.

¨You are going to drill a hole if you stare that intense¨You swear you were discreet enough, you felt a little embarrassed but there was no point in denying it. ¨You look like a whore, can´t help it¨

He raised his eyebrow and contained a smile ¨Look who is talking¨ you placed your hand in your heart faking an offended tone ¨Excuse you? i dress properly in every situation while most of the time you have your chest naked for everyone to see¨ He stared at you ¨I only see you looking¨

You were looking at each other eyes, too much for your liking and you start to feel your face hot, was he always this close? you felt this he was standing really close to you, too close to your embarrassed and stupid in love face.

¨I guess i just don´t know how to hide it¨ You were talking about the looks you give him, but you know it also meant you could´t hide your feelings very well.

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you close to him to his side. You rested your head on his shoulder, enjoying the breeze on your face and his hand caressing your arm.

Oh god his hands, big and strong, masculine and long. His hand caressed your shoulder and then travel to your arm, the tip of his fingers made you had goosebumps, you breathe staring to change a bit in rhythm. His finger travel to the side of your neck to caress it. You felt your heart about to explore, this felt to erotic and personal, it was kinda funny ( or pathetic) how just the touch of his fingers could make you feel.

His placed his hand in your chin to make you look at him but before he could you moved your head to avoid it. Having him touch you is one thing but looking at him was different, you didn´t want him to see your ready-to-explode face, what if he notices? If he founds out how you actually think about him?

Getting rejected was NOT going to happen, you preferred a bullet, one in your heart and another one through your brain.

¨Look at me¨ No.

You didn´t know what to do, what to say. Fuck! your face was still burning up and your stomcah felt like throwing up a million of dead butterflies.

You decided to look at him, if he questions something about your face or your actions you would just lie or throw yourself through the balcony in hopes to die.

Your eyes met and you felt you whole body, even your hands and legs burning up, he was so close to your face, his eyes so intensely watching you, looking at your lips and eyes.

¨Do you hate this¨ You didn´t exactly understand what he meant ¨Hate what?¨ His hand travel to you lower back to pull you closer to him, both chest pressed to each other ¨This¨

You were 100% going to throw up any second in that man´s beautiful face.

¨No, not at all¨

His other hand cup your cheek and you let yourself enjoy his touch, his hands were big and strong, you could feel it.

His thumb touching your lower lip, guiding you to open your mouth a litte bit. He got closer, just milimiters from your face, he stuck out his tongue to lick your lower lip. Fuck.

¨You know that if you want me to stop, just say it and i will¨ You nodded but that was never going to happen.

You cupped your hands to his face and pulled him closes to finally kiss. He pressed you closer to him, his hands on your back with a strong hold on you so you can´t separate from him. So you don´t go away.

You could feel how desperate the kiss was, his tongue licking your lips and then entering your mouth again and again. You were getting so weak, so consumed by lust, your brain was off, not a single thought, just the feeling of Logan´s hands on your waist, your neck, on your ass, breast, back, he was feeling all of you. His vocie would grunt from time to time, his deep voice just giving you hints showing how much he was enjoying having you. Feeling you.

How much time has passed? For how long have you been kissing? 5 minutes? 10? Just pure kissing and touching each other frantically was enough to make all your sensitive spots hurt, palpitate for some kind of relief. For him.

Finally your brain turned on, where you going to have sex? Was this going to escalate more? Would he like it?

You started getting nervous, scared by the idea that what would happen if he doesn´t like it, if he stops kisssing you and to each their own just going to your respective rooms.

What if this was the last time this was going to happen? He maybe just wanted some relief. Oh god, maybe just because he couldn´t have Jean he went for someone who would give in.

Logan pulled away, a tiny string of saliva connected both of your mouths for a second.

¨Let´s go¨

Fuck it. You didn´t care if he was using you, either if it was because he just needed some kind of relief or because Jean wasn´t available, you really desired this, you needed this and you would have it, it this was the last time you could have him then you would make a hell of a time out of this.

It was dark and already late, so both of you stayed silently walking to his room holding hands to prevent any students waking up.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

OKEY so i will make a part 2 of course. BUt thats it and hope you enjoy, any suggestions are more than welcome. Love u.

Edit: i am still editing some grammar mistakes lol

NOOOOO I NEED MORE 😭

A Good Man - Chapter 2

explicit, 2256 words

Part 1

He was a different man when he was fucking. A big part of his dorkiness diminished to a few cute but still hot facial expressions when things went too intense for him – while making room for and accentuating his dangerous air touched with craziness.

He took her to his bedroom and told her how he wanted to do it. The pace, the roughness, and the position. There was very little room for discussion since she was more than willing to do every single one of them, and maybe even more.

His patience took its course sooner than she expected but no sooner than her own. When he finally pushed himself inside her, her underwear was still hanging from one ankle, and his jeans were only halfway down. His bed was either very old or very poor quality – it creaked so loud with their movement that she could hear them over the sounds of her own loud whimpers she couldn’t keep in and the groans he let out right inside her ear.

Unlike her, he could talk as he fucked. He praised her and, funnily enough, himself too. He openly admitted his enjoyment, unashamedly begged, and encouraged her to hurt him even more when she started clawing his bare shoulders mindlessly. What surprised her were the possessive phrases he said that sounded like threats rather than romantic mutterings but managed to leave her wetter and warmer between her legs and finally caused her walls to clench on him.

He wanted to bite her, she could tell. The kisses he left on her neck and breasts started to involve more and more teeth, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave even gentle ones. She wanted to encourage him but her stupid brain couldn’t form intelligible words. She tried to urge him with her movements but he didn’t even notice. Finally, she sank her own teeth into his neck – to show him that she was okay with it and sucked a neat bruise, and he suddenly came with a muffled groan.

She ran her fingers on his dimples – he was smiling now and staring at her triumphantly. Maybe he was going to send her back to the streets now that he was done with her. She had to find a way to make him let her stay. She could come a few weeks later claiming to be pregnant – that’d be ingenious, proving it with fake reports and doctors, forcing him to spend time with her. She could move in for real. She could even persuade him to–

“Marry me.”

“Aaah, what?”

He got off her and lay on his side, head propped on his elbow. “We should marry. Then you can stay in the states as long as you want.”

She should have asked something else from the universe – he was making this so easy for her. Uncannily easy. She tried not to jump on this opportunity. She had to think what a normal person, no matter how hopeless they were, would do in a situation like this. If one had nowhere to go, had no money, was an illegal alien and a devastatingly beautiful but a little unhinged man, who also was a great lay, asked them to marry him, what would they do?

“I can’t,” she whispered but couldn’t hide her happiness. “I can’t let you do something like that.”

“I want to do this.”

“Adrian, sham marriages are illegal. We could both go to jail for this.” There. That was the right thing to say. Being Peacemaker’s friend, he’d want to prove himself and show that he wasn’t afraid of breaking the law.

Something flicked behind his gaze. “Uhm. It doesn’t have to be a sham. We’ll live together. I like you. We’ll do this regularly, won’t we?”

“I guess,” she said. It was good sex. The intensity and his possessiveness had scared her a little, even though they were the reason for the good aspect of the sex.

“I can take care of you, protect you.”

She couldn’t hold back her quiet laughter. “Adrian, you’re a busboy,” she said and immediately regretted it. She was slipping, his earnestness made her forget her role.

He didn’t look taken aback, bothered, or even insulted in the least. “So what? I don’t pay rent anyway. I’m going to pay the same bills for electricity and other stuff. It’s just another plate on the table. And you need some clothes and some girls’ stuff, which I can afford.”

He got up without waiting for her response and went to the bathroom. Soon, she heard splashes of water, he must have been taking a shower. What kind of weirdo would offer marriage right after sex and then shower without waiting for the answer?

He came back – hair wet and with a towel wrapped around his waist. “I drew you a bath. I don’t know if you prefer showers but I think a bath would be better for warming up.”

Oh. A bath. For her. “I think I’m already warm now, but I’d love a bath.”

“I left you a towel and a toothbrush.”

“Oh,” she said this time aloud. “Thank you.”

“I put your clothes in the dryer. You mind wearing mine? You can wear my teal sweater. You’d look great in teal.”

She didn’t know what to say. Thank you, that, she said repeatedly. But what else?

“I’ll heat up some soup for you. What you ate at the restaurant wasn’t enough.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she said, trying to wrap the sheets around her naked body. She didn’t feel comfortable anyway, but if he had some protective instincts regarding her, it was best to create an image of a shy woman.

He smiled. Every time he smiled, she counted more dimples and freckles on his face. “Anything for my future wife.”

“Adrian, I didn’t say yes.”

There. There it was, he wasn’t normal. It was only for a second, but she’d seen the dangerous glint in his eyes. It vanished as quickly as it appeared. “Why?”

“It’s a big decision. You want us to be a real married couple,” she said, still struggling with the sheets.

“Do you want to break the law?” he asked, his tone harsh.

“N-no, of course not. But–I need to think. It’s all so sudden.”

“Oh. Okay, think while you’re in the tub, then. The offer is only on the table for tonight.”

“Why?”

“It’s my offer, I don’t have to explain.” A smile played on his lips, though it wasn’t playful.

At that moment, she was vulnerable. She had no weapons and was armed with only perfunctory training in martial arts. Adrian was ripped. He must have been spending all his spare time in the gym – few men would be comfortable with their bodies next to Peacemaker. She had to say yes anyway, but what then?

She got up, dropped the sheets and walked up to him. He stood motionless and watched her through his lashes as she rose on her toes and gave him a soft kiss. 

“Why don’t you help me wash my back while I consider your offer?”

***

Adrian was about to take his twenty-minute break. He was going to spend all twenty minutes of his break sitting in his car and just thinking how amazing his life was now. He had a wife. A wife, and only his. She was waiting for him at his apartment. How amazing it had been all week. Every day when he’d come, she’d been there.

Yesterday, he found her asleep on the couch under the soft blanket – all warm and fuzzy. She looked at him with sleepy eyes and smiled when he kissed her cheek. They sat down for dinner and he watched her eat. And then afterward, he forced her to watch him eat her out in front of the full-length mirror in his bedroom. Whenever she closed her eyes or looked away from the mirror, he pulled his head back. “It’s too much,” she complained again and again, and Adrian told her that was the point, nipping at her inner thighs. 

She went out and got herself some clothes before the courthouse wedding, but at home, she wore his clothes and he loved seeing her in them. He loved watching her sleep and eat and brushing her teeth. She was always at home and he loved it. His wife.

Sex was getting better and better. He found out that she begged easily, and he gave her plenty of reasons to do so. His pretty stray cat. He was never going to let her go.

 Someone punched the car window and yelled at him to return to work. His break wasn’t over yet, but he wasn’t annoyed. Nothing could annoy him anymore. He couldn’t take out his Vigilante suit to do his routine patrolling for a week now to keep his identity safe – even that wasn’t enough to dampen his good mood.

On his way back home, he thought about what he would do with her. Maybe she could be more open to experimenting tonight. Or they could just curl up on the couch and watch whatever she wanted. He liked keeping her happy, warm, and safe. She purred when she was happy, it’d become his favorite sound in the world.

He was greeted with a kiss and a warm meal. She was more curious now, always asking what he liked. His favorite food, TV show, hobbies (that one led to a string of lies) and friends.

“I didn’t know you were friends with Peacemaker,” she said, obviously surprised.

“You know Peacemaker?”

“Yes. I mean, who doesn’t? He made the news several times. He’s a bit racist, isn’t he?”

“No! Him? No. He’s wonderful. I mean, he is great. We’re not very close but, you know, I don’t have many friends.”

She had a weird expression on her face, he hated when people looked at him like that. 

“Am I going to meet him?”

“Hmm? Why? Why would you wanna meet him?”

“I don’t know, shouldn’t I meet your friends? At least for the Green Card interview?”

“I guess,” he said. He didn’t want to talk about Chris. She did have to meet him eventually, but it was still too soon – he wanted her all to himself, at least for the first couple of weeks.

Her hand was stroking his thigh absentmindedly rather than seductively. He put his own hand on hers and stopped the motion. She looked at him, with surprise, he guessed. “Something wrong?” she asked.

“Hmm. No. Nothing’s wrong. I’m too tired.”

She reached up, stretching her neck and kissed his cheek, letting her lips linger on his skin. It felt nice, but something was wrong. Usually, he couldn’t notice these kinds of things, and when he did, he couldn’t care less. But compared to their first time, her movements felt practiced, planned and calculated. 

He pulled back and smiled at her as he didn’t want to be rude. This could be all his imagination – after all, he wasn’t the best at recognizing tension. “I’m really tired, even breathing hurts my muscles.”

“Oh. You need a massage!” She didn’t need to be so cheerful about it.

“Fuck, that feels good,” he said when she started rubbing his shoulders. His muscles were fine anyway but still, free massage.

Apart from his moans, they were silent as she continued rubbing his shoulders and neck. After a while, she spoke. “This is nice. It’s nice, isn’t it?” She took his grunt as an acceptable response. “I wasn’t sure about this, getting married to a perfect stranger. But turns out it’s what you are, perfect.”

He was a sucker for praise, and being called perfect would usually gave him an erection in a couple of seconds only but right now, he was almost drowning in some other kind of pleasure. His eyelids closed on their own accord and he relaxed completely. Her hands were so, so gentle but also applied pressure when needed.

“A week ago, I was homeless and didn’t know where to go or what to do. Now, I feel safer and warmer than ever. I really like your company, and I think this could work out.”

That was good. She now started massaging his scalp, and he groaned in pleasure. She really did want to stay, and not just because she was homeless. She liked him. She was kissing his neck now, with closed, cool lips. That was nice too.

“How about we spend this weekend at home,” she said. Now her tone was seductive. “We can just eat, watch TV and chat – learn about each other,” she muttered between kisses.

“That’d be great,” he said, but at that point he’d have said the same thing to anything.

“You should invite Peacemaker. I should start to meet some of your friends.”

He jumped to his feet immediately and looked at her, trying to find some sign of deception.

“What? Did I hurt you?”

“No. No, I just want to, um. I need to sleep. I’m tired.”

“Yeah, you told me.”

“I’m going to bed.”

“Okay, I’ll join you after I finish the movie.”

He wanted to tell her to sleep on the couch. He didn’t want her in his bed, he needed space. But that wouldn’t be kind. “Fine,” he sighed and went to her bedroom and forced himself to sleep before she joined him – and failed at that. An hour later, her warm body curled up against his and inhaled his scent from his neck. Weirdo. 

I really newd help, what i do with my life is not okay, i am so selfish that is just a problem please help i can’t keep this up

adrian chase being super whiny and talkative when you can’t get a word in with how good he feels please help me (he whimpers, can confirm first hand)

oh MY GOD yeahhhhh YEAH!!!! saw this ask and immediately went feral, please send me more nasty adrian thoughts i love to see it. Hope you all enjoy this lil piece of filth <3

insult to injury

adrian chase x reader, vigilante x reader warnings: smut, dubcon elements, swearing, dirty talk, unprotected sex. Obviously the content is 18+, Minors DNI. as always comments and reblogs are super appreciated xoxo

It was supposed to be a one time thing, you had sworn not to get involved with people in your line of work. Made sense, since a lot of those people were either assholes or criminals anyways.

And yeah, maybe Adrian was both. But none of them were as pretty though, nor had such incredibly persuasive puppy dog eyes.

He only needed to breathe into your mouth a desperate and high pitched "Oh god, can we fuck?" after making out for only a few minutes outside a dingy bar for you to be disarmed immediately.

"Yeah? please? Fuck, I'll let you do anything you want-" He asked, filling up the space you could have used to answer him with his inpatient words and then his needy tongue slipping past your mouth.

You could have tried to answer him properly, but all you could do was nod and hum in agreement, growing desperate yourself with the way he was already rutting against your leg like a dog in heat.

It's not like you stood a chance, really.

Now the air in his shitty car suffocates you, its humid and hot and you really should have thought about cracking a window open before hoping on him in such a hurry to unzip his pants.

Your mind is fuzzy due to the lack of air, but the filthy and obscene noises Adrian makes are only adding insult to injury.

He's not only loud when he fucks, he's whiny.

A particularly deep thrust inside you makes him cry a pathetic and tortured “o-ohh fuuuuuuck” that stretches for long enough that his breath leaves a heated and moist print on the side of your neck. 

Your eyes roll back and your hand pulls at his hair to try and get his attention."Adrian, s-slow down-"

Its been a few times yet its embarrassing how much his noises still affect you, and how much effort it takes to not come in the first few minutes of him being inside you.

"But i thought you liked it like this." He says with a petulant look, his voice tight with the effort to say it. "Fuck, I know you do. I can feel it, its spilling onto my pants. Hhhnnng-" He whimpers around his words, and then his head falls back on the seat to let out a strained and broken moan that surprisingly turns into a laugh when your body reacts to it. "See?Just like that!"

He's right, you do like it.

But you cant speak, you cant even look at him directly knowing how fucked out he probably looks with hair sticking to his forehead and veins popping from his neck.

You dont know how to tell him that everything about this, that everything about him overwhelms your senses so much its almost scary.

That he's so - "Good. Adrian, you're so-" You try and say, but its barely a squeak of a sound.

"Shit thats fucking hot!" He interrupts, not giving you a chance to finish your own sentence. "You sound so hot! I'm for s-sure gonna be thinking about this next time Im tugging one out."

The image alone of him doing exactlythat makes you let out a frustrated moan that he instantly reciprocates with a seemingly bashful chuckle. You dont believe it for a second though.

Because of course he has to continue, he has to tell you all the details you aren't asking for.

"I used to jack off right here after our meetings in HQ so i could have your voice fresh in my head, but this is so so much better than spilling into my hand. Oh fuck its so much better-" He babbles, like its an easy task. Like he's not struggling to keep up his pace with how much oxygen it takes to not be quiet.

And you just gape at him, your peak catching up with you so fast that its hard to absorb all the implications of what he is saying or how your body is going limp from use.

Theres only the glassy look in his eyes and the sweet and filthy noises he makes in response to every stuttered movement you make against him.

You realize now that you can act all frowned upon or roll your eyes at him in disdain as many times as you like in front of Peacemaker, Harcourt, Economos or Leota, but in private...

Adrians making you seize up inside, as much as you try to block out his voice and pathetic noises they alone will soon cause you to tighten around him in a vice grip.

That he will inevitably spill inside you with a loud, whiny and lewd rendition of your name. Just how he likes it.

So much for keeping things professional in the work place huh?

Please i’m just tired

No, i am not sad, i am not mad, is just that i am so tired of trying to feel good with my life and with myself, trying not to cry when i see myself in a mirror or in photos, tired of not doing things the way i wanted, tored of crying about every little thing, tired of not being loved the way i love someone, and TIRED of feeling alone when i am surrounded by people.

HOW LOVE IS MAKING ME FEEL: Day 3

I feel like total shit, not pretty, not skinny, not cute not anything, sometimes i get scared people will know we are together because lf how i look and make fun of me, i get scared and insecure everyday and sad and disappointes everynight, but just for a momento, only for a beautiful momento, i feel pretty and cute when you say to me how gorgeous i am, how you like my body, my makeup or my accesories, how you just love me, and for that tiny second, i feel that u actually love mysel.

30-09-19