Two Bros Being Disappointed At The College Frat Party And Ditch It —

fire & ice gay people 🔥❄️

Having a tantrum brb

He’s a very professional Catholic Priest

I keep thinking of potential for "good dad Zeus" stories but for Olympians when they're younger/coming into power and they're making me very, very sentimental.

You're young Artemis and you're your father's daughter. You come to him first when you're upset or hurt because, intimidating as he is to many, he always holds you close, laughs fondly, and makes your distress easier to bear. You know that whoever hurt you will not sleep at night and your wounds will heal.

You're young Apollo and you're your mother's child but your father's favorite son. You and him share understanding looks that no one else comprehends. When you wake up from your first prophecy, you are terrified and confused, but you feel a steady, big, warm hand under yours and it's alright. He teaches you the art of fate. You know his mind like no other.

You're young Athena and you're your father's delight. He always finds newer and newer ways to engage your rapidly thinking mind, and he chuckles fondly at your theories. "You would be a mighty king, my child," he tells you and you know it is the highest praise though you don't delight in calls of power. You watch competitions and games standing by his side. You are, still, his greatest pride.

You're young Hermes and you always make your father laugh. He tells you stories of your mother, all scented with strawberry tree fruits and wild flowers, and you wonder how big a man's heart is to store so many loves. He chides you a little for your constant pranks but you can tell that he loves you from the little glint in his eyes. He always sits you close during banquets and listens to your stories even if they're made up.

You're young Dionysus and your father finds you perplexing. He might not understand you as well as his other children, but you watch him from afar and get him, somewhat. The grab for power and the need to keep it, the desire to make others bow to your might: you've felt it since you were much younger. Always a demanding son, always a ruthless little leopard. He'd pick you up and look at you in wonder, "you are so much like me".

You're young Ares and your father does not understand you as well because you're your mother's child. You are not as close to him as others are but that's how you are with most of your family. Deep down, he relates to you - he was much like you when he was young: taking what he's owed. As you grow older, you realize you've become the same great father he is, following in his steps.

Johnny, leaning on the counter: Hey beautiful, come here often?

Peter: Is this the part where I remind you we've been married for four years or do I play along?

Johnny: Play along!

Peter: Alright. Sorry, I'm not interested, I'm married

“Foggy Nelson is not THAT important to Daredevil☝️🤓”

In law school, Matt tied up, stripped naked and put on display a guy for bullying Foggy. Matt was the one who paid Foggy’s hospital bills when Foggy had cancer. Recently, Matt LITERALLY went to Hell to save Foggy. But go on 🙄

dum dums part 2 :D!!!

there IS more, so now time for part 3

Have you seen the tiktok going around that's a guy talking to his kids like "The more you sass me, the more I'm gonna flirt with your mother!" That but it's Bruce threatening to leave his comms on deliberately when he's around Selina if the baby bats don't start behaving themselves on patrol.

Bruce: The more you sass me, the more I'm gonna flirt with your parents.

Dick: Jokes on you, I'm an orphan.

Bruce: Alright then.

Bruce: *flirts with Commissioner Gordon*

Bruce: *flirts with Barry*

Bruce: *goes to space*

Bruce: *flirts with Luand'r*

Dick: STOP THOSE ARE MY IN-LAWS!

———————

Cass: *blinks*

Bruce: That's it. I've had it with your attitude.

Bruce: *goes out with Lady Shiva*

———————

Bruce: *walks in with a bouquet of flowers*

Luke: Uh... what's all this for?

Bruce: Remember the other week when you called my prototype strobe light batarang stupid?

Luke: ...Because it is?

Bruce: Well, guess what?

Bruce: *gives the flowers to Lucius*

———————

Jason: And what if I don't? What are you gonna do, let me die again?

Bruce: No.

Bruce: *opens Grindr*

Jason: You wouldn't.

Bruce: Oh yes I would.

Bruce: *slides into Ollie's DMs*

———————

Tim: It's a good thing I never introduced you to Bernard's family.

Bruce: I could always look them up in the phone book.

Tim: What year are you living in?

Bruce: I'm just kidding. I'll be back in an hour. Hold down the fort for me, m'kay buddy?

Tim: Yeah, sure.

[an hour later]

Bruce: *walks in holding hands with Lex Luthor and Max Mercury*

Tim: What the...?

Bruce: I still know your best friends' parents.

Lex: This is what you handcuffed me for?

Bruce: Shush, I'm making a point.

———————

Bruce: We go in on my signal.

Steph: This is my dad we're talking about. I'm not gonna sit around and risk him getting away.

Steph: *swings onto the scene*

Bruce: *follows her*

Steph: Stop right there, Cluemaster—BATMAN WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Bruce: *sweeps Arthur off his feet*

———————

Bruce: *lecturing Damian*

Damian: Tt.

Bruce: One second.

Bruce: *pulls out his phone*

Bruce: Hey Talia, I was wondering if you had dinner plans tonight?....Yes, Damian is misbehaving again.....7:30? Perfect!

———————

Duke: You've never met my friends' or girlfriend's parents and Jokerized people can't consent, so...

Bruce: *turns on the computer*

Bruce: *emails the immortal entity Gnomon*

Bruce: *gets a reply*

Bruce: Alfred, fetch my tux.

———————

The voice in Bruce's head: *says mean things*

Bruce: Oh yeah? Well how do you like THIS?

Bruce: *proposes to Selina*

———————

Holly: *flips him off*

Bruce: *proposes to Selina*

Selina: Again? That's the second time today.

———————

Julia: You're nothing a bloody angst-addled egotistical baby twat!

Bruce: *looks at her*

Bruce: *looks at Alfred*

Bruce: This isn't gonna work.

oh kory the woman that you are

Starfire ✹ Titans #10 art by Lucas Meyer and Adriano Lucas

How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths

Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play

Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later

Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins

Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together

Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls

Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it

What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels

What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye

What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother

What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back

What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important

What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?

What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"

What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too