Hermes

The Batkids doing something considered rebellious and Bruce is unimpressed because "been there, done that" headcanon :

Damian runs away and sleeps under a bridge at some point -> Bruce did it at nine years old.

Tim gets piercings (bonus : Kon pierced him) -> Bruce had his nipples pierced by Minkhoa back in the days.

Jason gets home smelling of weed -> Bruce didn't only taste foreign food around the world when he was training...

Steph gets a mohawk -> Bruce had a bright pink mohawk at some point to piss Alfred off.

Dick anonymously starts an OF -> Bruce may or may not have leaked his own sextapes (yes, multiple) for "legitimate Batman-related" reasons.

Cass accidentally joins a cult -> Bruce and Minkhoa competitively founded a cult to see who would get to be the ultimate guru.

Duke finds himself in custody for whatever silly reason really -> Bruce went to prison (more than once) (in different countries) (for terrible motives) (he's still blacklisted in some of those countries)

Bro things

ANNABETH IS SO PRETTY OMG

Obligatory battle of the labyrinth kiss scene

Bonus:

It's me, i'm girls

“Jean is team mom” “Ororo is team mom” SILENCE. Enough of you reducing women to maternal archetypes because you can’t be bothered to explore deeper meanings to their character.

LOGAN is team mom.

“Logan, can you buy us—“ “no” (buys the thing anyway)

Is constantly scolding his kids students for putting themselves in danger

Plans fun activities (life threatening danger room drills)

Handles the rebellious phases. You think Scott has the mental strength to deal with the fury of a teenage girl who can throw fireworks when she’s mad? I think not.

Hank can barely convince Jubilee to do her homework. Charles mentally checked out a long time ago.

Takes Jubilee, Kitty and Laura shopping. If he doesn’t like something, he’ll give them the blankets ‘that’s cute. I wouldn’t buy it.’ In the world

“What do you think, I’m made of money? We’re getting milk and that’s it.” — leaves with half the store

Is the kid’s emergency contact AND attends everyone’s PTA meetings.

No, ELIZABETH, He won’t be staying up all night cooking vegan cupcakes for your precious angel. He’s gonna buy them like a normal person.

Mom Stare (tm) that can turn you to stone

Will assign kids chores, complain they don’t do it correctly, proceeds to do it himself, then says no one helps around.

“You’re EXACTLY like your father” “…Are you talking about Scott—“ “of course I’m talking about Scott!”

Kitty wants to learn how to drive. He’s holding that safety handle till his hands get purple. “Check the mirror CHECK THE MIRROR—“ “it’s CHECKED :(( “ “CHECK SOME MORE”

Laura is his baby. Holds her everywhere. Will talk about her 24/7.

“Logan, do you know Bobby’s birthday? I need it for—“ “June 28th, Tuesday, 10:34:03 AM, blood type A, his nurse’s name was Susan, —“

Is in charge of birthday cakes. No one else.

If the kids feel down, or need someone to talk to, he’s got a 6th sense for it. Knocks on their door, Leland’s against the frame with his arm crossed, ‘wanna talk about it’ on his face.

The most insane lore you’ve ever heard

Jay: If the multiverse theory is true, then there's a universe where it isn't.

Nya: The multiverse theory doesn't cover paradoxical situations.

Jay: Except in the universe where it does.

Kai: I'm having an aneurysm.

WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAVE TO BE SO SAD

Uncanny X-Men #1 - "Red Wave" (2024)

written by Gail Simone art by David Marquez & Matthew Wilson

I love RGB siblings, or PGB too ig :))

Jason: wow I love Kyle

Roy: wow I love Kyle

Connor: wow I love Kyle

Guy: wow I love Kyle

Wally: wow I love kyle

Me: wow I really love kyle

Kyle: :)

Dick: What do you do when someone is being mean?

Tim: Ruin their life online.

Damian: Break their arm.

Jason: Talk to them about the consequences of their actions.

[Tim and Damian looking at Jason in disbelief while Dick beams]

Jason: I mean, shoot them, of course.