Tokidokioki - 🦈

I don’t know if this is relatable or not, but do you ever watch a tv show or read a book or engage with some type of media, then have a very very difficult time determining what is from the media and what is actually real. I’ll think I’m a character from the media, that my loved ones are characters from the media, that I’m in the place where the media takes place. I’ll have a difficult time telling if my dog just died or if that happened in the media, if I just won a competition or if that was the media. Anyone else? Just me?

having a superiority god complex along with self-hatred is so funny like yes yes i hate myself with all my being and would literally love to vanish my unworthy existence but atleast y'all peasants ain't better than me lol

Bonnie and Clyde: Rambling #14

19th April 2022, 00:31

Dear God, my last rambling made me start thinking about this. A lover. A crazed lover. Somebody who is obsessed and head over heels for me. Somebody who spends every minute thinking about me, plotting scenarios about me, dreaming about me, who would do absolutely anything for me. Just as I would for them. In love. Wholly in love. Wildly in love. Our love would be messy. Bloody. I want us to elope and become Bonnie and Clyde. I want them to look at me, sparks behind their eyes, with a knife in their hand, blood spattered across their face, and a corpse by their feet. I want to walk forward, clutch their jaw, and press my lips firmly to their own. I want to make love in the blood of our victim. But, are they really a victim? We’re only ridding them from this horrible, horrible world. I think I would try and kill the bad, worst people of this world first. The animal abusers. The pedophiles. The parents who beat their children. Rich people who don’t donate to charities. Oh, and that one girl who lied about me hurting her when I was about six years old. You fucking bitch. I didn’t touch you. But, now I will. I’ll hurt you in the way you said I did, and then my partner will slit your throat and your blood will coat my naked body. I’ll glisten black under the moonlight. My lover, their eyes dilated in admiration, would drop their knife and come to me, tender hands leaving trails through the blood across my chest. Oh, how I would fall for you even further. I would kill for you. I would do anything for you. I would grow you roses fed with the blood of my enemies. They would be the brightest, most healthiest, deep red roses you have ever seen. All you have to do is let go and trust me. Just let go. Let your inner demons take control of the steering wheel. Join me in my instantly. Together we can dominate this disgusting, pathetic world. After all, it’s not fun to be insane when you’re alone.

~ 化け猫 (Bakeneko)

Does anybody wanna do a Scaramouche x Kazuha x Heizou roleplay? We can be a group of three, or we can play one of the characters together. I only roleplay on Discord.

Like or message me!

how do you tell someone “i’m not ignoring you i’m just disconnected from reality right now and the days are all blurred together and i feel completely apathetic towards everyone/everything around me so it’s really hard for me to maintain a conversation” without saying that

"be like a star,

distant and dying"

— Fernando Pessoa , from “The Book of Disquiet.”

i swear it’s so invalidating when you genuinely cant cut deep, then your left with hundreds of baby cuts and run out of space on your wrist or thigh.

“it’s easier to love than to hate”

nope. not always. not for everyone. sometimes it’s easier to be angry. sometimes it’s easier to hate people and sometimes all you want to do is yell or scream or slam things about.

sometimes it takes a monumental effort to choose to be kind.

and that’s okay! you’re not broken if your default, easy option, is something that is often frowned upon. you’re not broken if you find it hard to do the right thing.

I’m proud of you for trying your best and for pushing through, despite the odds. I’m proud of you for working hard. I’m proud of you for still trying, even when you stuff up sometimes.

you’re allowed to find kindness and love hard.

you’re allowed to be kind for “the wrong reasons”.

you’re allowed to exist.