Yes, I Have Like 20 Random Posts In My Drafts That I Regularly Read For No Reason.

Steph: Hi, I'm Spoiler, sarcasm and one liners department. Gordon: Terrific, and you are? Cass: Batgirl. Applied violences.

Cassandra: Why does everyone talk about me like a pet? Stephanie: Well you are scared of the vacuum cleaner for some reason. And I have seen you eat off the floor. And me and Babs do spend a whole lot of time trapped on the couch because you fell asleep on us. Stephanie: Like, it's the racism mostly but let's be real here you don't do yourself many favors by being oh so very scrunkly. Cassandra: You're right... I hate it. Barbara: I've been trying to teach you to spell your own name for 3 years but you know what the word "scrunkly" means?! Stephanie: Some words are felt rather than heard O.

Okay but what if Cass never really thinks too hard about why Steph always seems to show up in her near death experiences and genuinely believes Steph just happened to be around to give her some good advice before leaving

Billy, whose parents died from being crushed by rocks in a buried tomb, watching as the wizard is killed by a massive rock falling onto him: oh…

Do you think Captain Marvel (Shazam) can inflict harm on himself?

Like if he’s in a situation where someone is forcing him to say the magic word (with the lasso of truth or something) and Captain Marvel knows if he transforms back to Billy he’ll die, couldn’t he just rip his own vocal cords out?

Like, obviously if he did they’ll heal (cause he’s magic) and he’d be able to speak again eventually, but ripping out your own vocal cords would be a pretty badass way to counter a villain, huh?

Good shock value for the horror everyone else would have at this person tearing out their own throat just so he wouldn’t say a word

Okay we’ve all heard the “Batman adopts Billy” thing. Which, yeah, it’s fun cause of BATson and Billy being an orphan with black hair and blue eyes, but hear me out…

Billy somehow ends up in Gotham’s streets (magic shenanigans) and since he’s so obviously a street kid and he doesn’t have any records (cause of the time bubble, Fawcett is still just getting out of the 50s and into the modern world, so the files are a bit messy) so he’s snatched up by CPS

Billy gets fostered by Bruce, but as soon as they leave that kid alone, he’s climbing out a window and they never see him again (Magic and also people are hard to track in Fawcett)

So come Captain Marvel (Shazam) identity reveal, Batman’s blue screening cause THATS the kid that left the worlds greatest detective dumbfounded?

Reblogging cause of the Shazam Wizard one and also Steph!

dc characters as text posts pt 5

Sometimes I think Gotham should just save time and throw you directly into the Asylum the minute you get your doctorate.

Need me a fic where Captain Marvel’s identity is revealed and Billy just starts running from all these heroes trying to parent him.

And it isn’t just the Justice League…

YJ would do anything for that man (boy?), at least after they get over the fact their father figure is actually younger than them.

The Titans bout to have Raven pull up the ancient scrolls to find a way to summon the Champion of Magic. (They are also trying to get over the fact that their father figure is younger than them)

The Outlaws are definitely ready to fight every other superhero team for him. (And, you guessed it! They are also trying to get over the fact their father figure is younger than them)

Meanwhile Billy is just like: “first CPS, now this? How does one get 50 different superheroes off their back?”

Semi inspired by the father figure Captain marvel posts

Whenever I don’t get why a bunch of people find some dude attractive and I later find a fan drawing of the dude as a butch woman I just…

I just gotta take a moment to think about how gay that makes me.

Fine, I get the fucking hype about Hugh Jackman now, ok?

Queer women, do yourself a favour and go have a look at the fanart of the butch woman version of wolverine.