Imagine If You Will; Billy De-transforms During A Mission And Gets Knocked Out. He Wakes Up In The JL

I can’t get over the fact that this IS the most likely ship name for them

you guys liked casscass huh

Ok yes StephCass is my OTP and I do lean towards them not really being sexual but more based on intense codependency and stuff and like .. blah blah blah. TLDR I don't think it'd be possible to be a third in their relationship. But I think the idea of throwing Rose Wilson in is to funny not to bend my characterization of the Batgirls for.

You're Bruce. You fire this girl who was your Robin who's your son's girlfriend. Whatever.

They break up, great. She's not weighting your son down now.

... Hey why is she hanging out with Miss Perfect Weapon who you have dubious custody over?

Hey why is Miss Perfect Weapon's mom letting them share a bed?

... Hey is the black sheep son of your family making out with Rose Wilson?

Hey are they fucking dating now!?

... Nope they broke up

You're pretty sure Cassandra and Stephanie are a thing. Fuck.

Hey Rose is hanging out with the batgirls...

A lot....

... HEY HOW MANY OF YOUR KIDS EX'S IS CASSANDRA GOING TO COLLECT FOR HERSELF?!

I love body horror Captain Marvel cause yeah, if he’s been dismembered why wouldn’t he just have his limbs move on their own like a cartoon while his fellow heroes watch on in horror

Stop making Captain Marvel stupid. He’s silly not stupid. Say it with me: Silly not stupid

cassandra cain incorrect quotes:

cass:

explanation: it’s incorrect because cass is not actually mute

sorry i haven't read your fic yet it's been in my open tabs for 8 months

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

Back with another list for you guys!!!

Weird things Captain Marvel has done

Carved his entire mission report into a slab of stone for Batman

Sat on the couch in the Watchtower rec room without moving or blinking for 2 hours straight before going home whistling

Tried to lick the sun cause he was curious what it would taste like

Carried a child (Freddy) on his shoulders for an entire mission

Wore a top hat for a day and when asked about it was very confused about why he was wearing a top hat

Fell asleep in space for 5 hours, just floating around (he only woke up when he bumped into the moon)

Sweat an actual, real bullet

Swallowed a bag of chips whole (like, he didn’t even open it up)

Accidentally turned his hair into cotton candy then absentmindedly ate it (bald Cap became a meme)

Didn’t have have his lower body for a week and didn’t say why (like, from the waist down it was just fucking gone)

Mute billy

Wizard: “Say my name!” *closes eyes and raises hands*

Billy: *stares*

Wizard: *cracks one eye open* “Billy, say my name.”

Billy: *continues staring*

Wizard: “Billy??”

Somehow, The Wizard didn’t realize that throughout his entire speech about Billy becoming the Champion, Billy hadn’t said a word and just stared.

Wizard: “Billy… if you can speak, say my name-” *gets crushed by the stone thing*

And that’s how Billy went like a solid two weeks without transforming. By the end, he was teaming with magical energy so much so that he thought if he just moved to the wrong way, he’d explode. He knew you were supposed to say something, but since he couldn’t say anything, he had to find a way around it.

Billy: *walks into an alley and finds a piece of cardboard and scribbles the word Shazam on it*

Now, he was about to go back to the cave and see if he could just thrust the cardboard at the Wizard’s corpse and pray it will work. Unfortunately, it started raining halfway there.

Billy: *ducks into a different alley for a shortcut, and holds the cardboard above his head to block the rain*

Billy heard thunder, and then he was a grown ass man.

Zeus: ‘FINALLY! Sorry, kiddo, but I just took what I could get.’

Marvel: *confusion*

Solomon: ‘Billy, because you cannot speak, please just hold the cardboard above your head, so our friend- eh… colleague Zeus can see.’

And that’s how Billy gained the ability to transform. He went around being a hero and all that, he got to meet the Fawcett heroes and befriend them still.

Minute-Man: “Yeah, so I’ll take two scoops of chocolate.” *look to Marvel* “What do you want, big man?”

Marvel: *silence*

Minute-Man: *somehow understood his silence* “Right, and he’ll take a scoop of Rocky Road.”

They all developed a wordless understanding of the Cheese.

Then the bubble popped and Billy got to interact with people outside of the Fawcett heroes and Fawcitizens who were used to him being the big silent sunshine.

Marvel: *standing menacingly behind a Gothamite*

Gothamite: *slowly turns around, thinking they’re about to be bludgeoned to death by the next Bizarro*

Marvel: *points to their dog*

Gothamite: *now thinks their dog is about to be bludgeoned to death by the next Bizarro*

Marvel: *inches closer to the doggy*

Dog: *can sense its about to get pets and just loves it*

Gothamite: *confused as to why their dog isn’t literally whimpering in fear*

Marvel: *pets the doggy*

Gothamite: *confusion*

Marvel: *finishes, waves, and leaves*

or

JL: “Tell us who you are!”

Marvel: *just stares*

Spy Smasher: “His name is Captain Marvel, or Cap.”

Supes: “He couldn’t answer himself?”

Bulletman: “He can’t talk.”

Supes: “Oh.”

Batman: “That doesn’t answer who you all are. It’s not everyday a group of heroes just pops up-”

Spy Smasher: “SHUT THE HELL UP. We came before you kiddies!”

Marvel: *pats his shoulder looking at him like he’s crazy*

That was Billy’s way of saying “dude calm the hell down. Please.” Also, because Billy is mute, his face is extremely expressive. Marvel stared him into apologizing.

Spy Smasher: “I apologize for my outburst.”