Jim: [sneaking Around, Trips And Falls]

The Swede: It's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?

Oluwande: That's the back of the map.

Mary: What do you want to be for Halloween, Stede?

Stede: Loved.

Mary: don't do this

Blackbeard: Gotta keep it profesh, you know?

Izzy: Yes, because that's what all professionals do: they call it 'profesh.'

Izzy, Fang, and Ivan: [arguing]

Blackbeard: [slaps arm on the table] WE ARE IN A GODDAMN IHOP. ACT LIKE IT.

Oluwande: Frenchie offered me his drink because I mentioned I was thirsty.

Oluwande: I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of Baja Blast Mountain Dew at 7 in the morning.

Oluwande: Whenever Jim is mad at me, I tighten the lids on all the jars so they have to get help from me.

[glass breaks in the background]

Oluwande: It hasn't worked yet, but it'll happen.

Stede: Sometimes, people ask me how I manage my crew so easily. The answer is, I don't.

Stede: Yesterday The Swede called me into the kitchen and when I got there, Roach shot me in the throat with a Nerf gun.

Stede: What are you doing?

Frenchie, taking a Buzzfeed quiz to see what kind of Poptart he is: work

Stede, after 3 minutes of silence: You don't have to use the chopsticks just to impress me.

Ed, trying to pick up his soda with chopsticks: I told you I got this.

Stede: Okay, let's all actually sleep now.

The crew:

The crew:

Roach, softly: The snack that smiles back-

The crew: GOLDFISH

Stede: goddamnit