Stede: Okay, Let's All Actually Sleep Now.

Ivan: We gotta distract these guys.

Izzy: Leave it to me.

Izzy, to the Revenge Crew: Centaurs have 6 limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

The crew: [immediately starts arguing]

[first day as a pilot]

Control Tower: What are your coordinates?

Ed: I'm by a cloud that's shaped like a lion.

Control Tower: Can you be more specific?

Ed: simba

Oluwande: Ah, yeah, the five love languages.

Oluwande: [points to Stede] My parents never told me they were proud of me.

Oluwande: [points to Lucius] I'm so fucking tired, let me rest for five minutes.

Oluwande: [points to Roach] I love stuff.

Oluwande: [points to Frenchie] Please pay attention to me.

Oluwande: [points to Stede] Touch starved.

Stede: Come on, Oluwande-

Stede: Why did I get two?

Izzy: Edward, we've been looking all over for you. You can't just leave a sign on your desk that says "gone leavin'".

[first few episodes]

Blackbeard: Any word about Bonnet and his crew?

Izzy: They found a dollar on the ground and almost killed each other because there was a vending machine nearby.

Black Pete, standing on the dinner table: This place has gone to HELL!

Stede, to Ed: He does this once a week.

Roach: That's one of my biggest fears.

Lucius: What is?

Roach: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut...

Lucius: You'd eat yourself?

Roach: i wouldn't even question it

Jim: I'm not a bad guy!

Jim: It's me! [rips off disguise]

Oluwande, who helped them into the disguise: [gasps in shock]

Oluwande: Oh, right, I forgot for a second.

Blackbeard: I thought I was meowing back and forth at the cats for the last hour.

Blackbeard: Turns out, it was just me and Stede meowing at each other back and forth from different parts of the ship.

Stede: And now it's time for some witty back and forth banter!

Izzy: [screams with rage]

Stede: I don't know where to go with that.