Black Pete, Standing On The Dinner Table: This Place Has Gone To HELL!

[first few episodes]

Blackbeard: Any word about Bonnet and his crew?

Izzy: They found a dollar on the ground and almost killed each other because there was a vending machine nearby.

Oluwande: Frenchie offered me his drink because I mentioned I was thirsty.

Oluwande: I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of Baja Blast Mountain Dew at 7 in the morning.

Ivan: We gotta distract these guys.

Izzy: Leave it to me.

Izzy, to the Revenge Crew: Centaurs have 6 limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

The crew: [immediately starts arguing]

[introduction to the crew]

Stede, to Ed: Basically, the policy here is: if you SEE something, SAY something.

Roach: I saw a frog.

Stede: OUTSTANDING. This is what I'm talking about.

Stede: What's with the napkin on the glass door?

Oluwande: The Swede keeps walking into the door, so I thought this would help.

The Swede, entering the room: Oh, wow! A floating nap-

The Swede: [walks into the glass door]

Oluwande: Almost hit Buttons with my car today. I was pulling up to the house and apparently he didn't see me. So this guy darts out in front of me and I hit the brakes-

Oluwande: And he fucking dabs.

Oluwande: His automatic reaction to almost getting hit by a car was to just fucking dab. His LAST MOMENTS would have been a sick ass dab.

Oluwande: i'm worried about him

Stede, after 3 minutes of silence: You don't have to use the chopsticks just to impress me.

Ed, trying to pick up his soda with chopsticks: I told you I got this.

Lucius, holding the door open: After you.

Izzy: Nah. I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear.

Lucius: Okay, but that still leaves a 30% chance I'll attack you from the front.

Izzy: Yeah, but it'd be easier to stop. Or I could counter it-

Lucius: [slaps him]

Jim: I'm not a bad guy!

Jim: It's me! [rips off disguise]

Oluwande, who helped them into the disguise: [gasps in shock]

Oluwande: Oh, right, I forgot for a second.

Fang: Comin' outta my cage and I been doin' just-

Izzy: FUCK