[introduction To The Crew]

[Izzy and Lucius reaching for a burger at the same time, their hands touch, their eyes meet]

Lucius: Hey, this is kinda gay-

Izzy: Get the fuck off my McDonald's.

Stede: What's with the napkin on the glass door?

Oluwande: The Swede keeps walking into the door, so I thought this would help.

The Swede, entering the room: Oh, wow! A floating nap-

The Swede: [walks into the glass door]

Stede: And now it's time for some witty back and forth banter!

Izzy: [screams with rage]

Stede: I don't know where to go with that.

Izzy: Edward, we've been looking all over for you. You can't just leave a sign on your desk that says "gone leavin'".

[as ghost hunters]

Oluwande: I think a ghost just grabbed my ass!

Ghost: It wasn't me, it was Jim.

Jim: what the fuck dude

[playing Among Us]

Frenchie, the Imposter: It's Pete!

Pete: What?! I was with Lucius the whole time!

Lucius: It's Pete.

Jim: I'm not a bad guy!

Jim: It's me! [rips off disguise]

Oluwande, who helped them into the disguise: [gasps in shock]

Oluwande: Oh, right, I forgot for a second.

Black Pete: If you ever see me re-parking 500 times, mind your own business.

Lucius, holding the door open: After you.

Izzy: Nah. I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear.

Lucius: Okay, but that still leaves a 30% chance I'll attack you from the front.

Izzy: Yeah, but it'd be easier to stop. Or I could counter it-

Lucius: [slaps him]

Oluwande: Ah, yeah, the five love languages.

Oluwande: [points to Stede] My parents never told me they were proud of me.

Oluwande: [points to Lucius] I'm so fucking tired, let me rest for five minutes.

Oluwande: [points to Roach] I love stuff.

Oluwande: [points to Frenchie] Please pay attention to me.

Oluwande: [points to Stede] Touch starved.

Stede: Come on, Oluwande-

Stede: Why did I get two?