Stede: And Now It's Time For Some Witty Back And Forth Banter!

Fang: Comin' outta my cage and I been doin' just-

Izzy: FUCK

Blackbeard: I thought I was meowing back and forth at the cats for the last hour.

Blackbeard: Turns out, it was just me and Stede meowing at each other back and forth from different parts of the ship.

Stede: Sometimes, people ask me how I manage my crew so easily. The answer is, I don't.

Stede: Yesterday The Swede called me into the kitchen and when I got there, Roach shot me in the throat with a Nerf gun.

Lucius, describing Stede to a store clerk: He's about this tall, blonde hair, dark eyes.... [raises voice] and he looks horrible in teal!

Stede, from the wine aisle: NO I DON'T

Stede: Okay, let's all actually sleep now.

The crew:

The crew:

Roach, softly: The snack that smiles back-

The crew: GOLDFISH

Stede: goddamnit

[group chat]

Black Pete: I'm tired of all you fake Ratatouille fans thinking the rat's name is Ratatouille.

Frenchie: Please, I only said that once.

Jim: It's 3AM. Fuck OFF.

Lucius: Pete with the right opinions as always.

Stede: THE RAT'S NAME ISN'T RATATOUILLE?!

[Stede has been removed from the chat]

Black Pete: I've had it.

Stede: Let's talk about some of the emotions you may be feeling right now.

Fang: Stabbing.

Stede: Stabbing is more of an activity.

Stede: That I hope you don't do to me.

Stede: What's with the napkin on the glass door?

Oluwande: The Swede keeps walking into the door, so I thought this would help.

The Swede, entering the room: Oh, wow! A floating nap-

The Swede: [walks into the glass door]

[playing Among Us]

Frenchie, the Imposter: It's Pete!

Pete: What?! I was with Lucius the whole time!

Lucius: It's Pete.

Oluwande: Frenchie offered me his drink because I mentioned I was thirsty.

Oluwande: I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of Baja Blast Mountain Dew at 7 in the morning.