Stede: What's With The Napkin On The Glass Door?

Stede: We call that a traumatic moment.

Stede, turning to Frenchie: Not a 'bruh moment'.

Stede, turning to Black Pete: Not a 'major L'.

Stede, turning to Jim: And definitely not an "OOF LMAO".

Mary: What do you want to be for Halloween, Stede?

Stede: Loved.

Mary: don't do this

Blackbeard: I thought I was meowing back and forth at the cats for the last hour.

Blackbeard: Turns out, it was just me and Stede meowing at each other back and forth from different parts of the ship.

Roach: That's one of my biggest fears.

Lucius: What is?

Roach: If I ever, like, woke up as a donut...

Lucius: You'd eat yourself?

Roach: i wouldn't even question it

Izzy, Fang, and Ivan: [arguing]

Blackbeard: [slaps arm on the table] WE ARE IN A GODDAMN IHOP. ACT LIKE IT.

Ivan: We gotta distract these guys.

Izzy: Leave it to me.

Izzy, to the Revenge Crew: Centaurs have 6 limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

The crew: [immediately starts arguing]

Ed: [deep sigh]

Ed: [takes off cowboy hat and plops down in the dirt]

Ed: [starts filling his cowboy hat with little rocks]

Ed: Feelings, huh?

Jim: [sneaking around, trips and falls]

Spanish Jackie: Who's there?!

Jim: Nobody, fuck off!

Stede: Sometimes, people ask me how I manage my crew so easily. The answer is, I don't.

Stede: Yesterday The Swede called me into the kitchen and when I got there, Roach shot me in the throat with a Nerf gun.

Lucius, holding the door open: After you.

Izzy: Nah. I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear.

Lucius: Okay, but that still leaves a 30% chance I'll attack you from the front.

Izzy: Yeah, but it'd be easier to stop. Or I could counter it-

Lucius: [slaps him]