A Month 📅 Without 😶 Uploading 📤 He 👦 Comes Back 🔙 With A Tag 🔖 (whoo) That No ⛔ One

a month 📅 without 😶 uploading 📤 he 👦 comes back 🔙 with a tag 🔖 (whoo) that no ⛔ one 1️⃣ even 🌆 tagged 🙋‍♂️ him in he’s 🏃‍♂️ not 🙅‍♀️ a challenge 🤔 to drag 🐲 (ouch🏥) so prepare 🙈 for an attack ⚠️ and by 👋 that i mean 👖 cringe 😬 (cringe) cause this 👈 motherfucker’s 🤱🦆🥵 ‘bout to get dragged 🗡🐉 by his fringe 🦱 first 🥇 things first, you’re freakishly 🦉 tall 🧍‍♂️ it’s weird 🆒️ you loo 👁 like a noodle 🍜 (true✔) you’ve got hair💇‍♂️ that was 🗑 cool 😎 in 2007 2️⃣0️⃣0️⃣7️⃣ and wet 💦 you just look 👀 like a poodle 🐩 (hobbit) throw 🚮 in a really annoying 😒 posh 🧐 voice 🗣🔇 and, yup 👍, that’s dan (posh) you’re what 😯 would happen if winnie 🍯 the pooh 🧸 fucked 👉👌 slenderman 👻 you procrastinate ⏳ making 🎨 videos 🎥, cause being judged 👨‍⚖️ is scary 😨? (ooh) you’re so close 🔐🚪 to being forgotten 😓, the hate’s 🖕 imaginary 💭 (whoa) the only reason 📖you get 💆‍♀️ views 🎑📈 is you’re another 😪 white ⬜ guy 🚶‍♂️ that people 👥 ship 🚢with his friend 👦🏻👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 cause they think 🤔 it’s kawaii 😊🌈 oh reasons 📚 why dan’s a fail ❌ (yay!) i’ll give you some 🔲 you never 📵 tweet 🐦, you overeat 🐿🍴, all 🏷 you do is cry 😭 and sleep 💤😴 your jokes 😜 are shitposts 🃏 and memes 🤡 with no originality 🧭 (uh huh) your family’s 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 sad 😔 you flopped 💾 your law 🔨 degree 🎓 at university 🏫👩‍🏫 and anything 🎖 embarrassing 😳 that’s from your past 🍝 you just delete ➖ you were vegan 🥕🥗 for like three 3️⃣ weeks, then what, you missed ☹ the meat 🥩? (milk 🐄🥛) wow 😮, i’m so impressed by your clear ⚪🚱 moral 👑 integrity 🧩! you try 👍✔ so hard 👷‍♀️ to be peaceful ☮🕊 and diplomatic ✌🏳 but can’t 🍈 make toast 🍞 without tumblr 🥃 saying you’re problematic 📛 (boo, oh) i could go 🎠 on there’s more 📳 if i check ✅ there’s more things 📝 on this list 📜 than chins 🤔 on your neck 🧣 on your birthday 🎂🎉 you joked 🤣 you were a quarter 🌛 way to death ⚰ a 100 💯? yeah, when getting 🍂 out 📤 of bed 🛌 makes you out of breath 🌬? (real) so your celebrity 🥳 crush 🥰 was j-law ⚖ but 🍑 now ❓ it’s evan p.? (mhmm) what 🆘️ the fuck even 🌃 is your sexuality 🏳️‍🌈? it’s hard ⛑ to put you in a box 📦 when you keep 🔑 it so blurry 🥶 (what is it) i think ✖ it’s just to hide 🙈 that you’re secretly 🤭 a furry 🦖 i’m-i’m joking 🃏🤴 obviously 🙆‍♂️ okay 🆗️ that went deep 🙇‍♀️… repress 😞 it? yup 🙃! before 🅱️ i start ⭐ crying 😢 let’s wrap 🌯 this shit 💩 up ⬆️ i’m gonna 🚘 go and masturbate 💦🥵🍆, then cry 😿 into 🥴 a slice 🍉 of pizza 🍕 (feelings 🤒) shout 📣 out 🔳 to the other youtubers ▶️🔥 especially 👓 ryan higa 👨‍🦳 (jerk 🤬) a cringe 👃 compilation 🖇 mixed 🔁 with cultural 🧫 appropriation met 🤘 with no 🚫 depreciation it’s the youtube 🔥 nation 🇺🇳 click ⏰ subscribe 🚇 , if you 👇 wanna 🍍 watch ⌚ 4 4️⃣ videos 📼 a year 🎆! (or 3) to see 👀 my last ⏮ one (from 10 🕥 years 😂 ago 🔙), just click ☝️ over 🔞 here 🦸‍♂️ (fail ❌) so leave 🍁 a comment ☄🎭 with your reaction 🚜, you can 🥫 call 📞 me a liar 🤥 cause you 👆 just ♎ witnessed 😵 the roast 🍗 of danisnotonfire 👦🚫🔥 [sobbing 😭]

[submitted by @jercy, god knows why]