Can We Talk About The Fucking Bullet We Dodged For A Second

see you back on the internet dan and phil

leading up to the phard phaunch I am going to post increasingly ridiculous theories of how it’ll happen. first up:

phil posts his q&a vid, almost the whole video is normal until the very last question. it’s an anon that says “will you marry me” phil reads it out rolls his eyes and calls out “dan i know you sent this.” dan comes on camera, phil says “u can’t ask me this” dan says “why not” (petulantly) phil says “we’re already married you can’t ask me again” dan flips him off and there is a ring on his left ring finger. End Scene.

happy october 19 to best friends, arch enemies, husbands, business partners, partners in crime, soul mates, just mates and who the fuck knows only

dan was so down bad for phil in the emo librarian outfit that he didn't even react to him going "my name is [Dan]" i fear we've lost him

The crazy thing about The Ranch Monologue™️ is that Dan is using them to explain how perfect ranch is. He tastes ranch and thinks “this is such a perfect combination of flavors” and in his brain the best way to explain to Phil how much he likes it is to say “it’s just like US”. He’s not using ranch as a metaphor for his relationship he’s using the relationship to explain how perfect the ranch is.

for anyone else who might need this today

This is the perfect moment for Vine to do the funniest thing possible

dude’s just showing off his boyfriend’s ass on main, smh shameless behavior

trying so hard to resist the urge to go back to sleep to pass time to see if dip n pip upload