Disorganised Thoughts

back to my okay i think i’m getting the hang of this

💀 zipping from wow i can’t for shit i’m so sad abt it all look at this and hey okay it wasnt actually so bad and hey it’s looking good and hey doing this constructing step step thing is kinda working out to getting motivated by vids and doing quick poses and oh wow i’m getting hang of it yay to lets goooo and back to wtf i can’t draw shit man i want to cryyyy

I want to draw so badly!!!! But no!!!! forcing my self into this break.

insane. as soon as so woke up… add this dream of art.,.. so obviously I got out my iPad and IMMEDIATELY went to drawing. the bright light of my iPad killed me.

I spent so much time on that face in the last one 😌 I like that time of art moment… just working… looking at refs…. Refining….. 5.39

But…. One thing I’ve been sadly about lately is well…, sIGH…. How I feel like my figures don’t look all that nice…. It’s just kind of disheartening I suppose….. like it’s not bad… at this level… I GUESS…. But I want it to be better…. Ahhhhhh SIGH….. I have to a lot of practice and studies I suppose 😞 but nothing man. I’m getting better at Creating stuff, I think. IDK!!! it’s honestly hard to gauge my progress level. It’s not really a straight line…..

I don't have the prettiest hands but I took some pictures for fun and for reference today

waaa….!!!! so many comics made!!!!! im so<3333

and heh… majority from today…

😐 man… a lot of recent art is highlighting on my weakness and there are Many. such as legs. mainly legs,.. side view…… profile face angle…. neck..,, arms…. arms again..,. (mainly drawing in arms.)….. for leg it’s really everything :/ man. and the problem is that I can’t be bothereddd to learn legs :/ I did do a more in depth study learning of muscles and shit …. and I think it deepened some level of understanding but not deep enough tbh…..

ahaha I wasnt actually any more stuff but welllllll

—I was watching videos and i wanted to just try drawing and this time just focus on scribble and gesture and whatever. and I think it helped a lot in just getting myself to loosen up and not think at all even tho that was a bit hard since I was slowing down in scribbled to get things right. anyways I realised that I was doing arms last so I decided to then look at the ref for a while longer than draw with knowledge of how the arms are supposed to be like that.,, and then I redraw the same poses, seeing what I did wrong (drawing elbow low and too far out) and then

—I wanted to draw over it in more finalised way and ahhh… that’s when it clicked. the way I started to feel actual struggle over my arms is when I was drawing character stuff and that’s like — it requires more detail? to arm? I guess. like character drawing is diff from figure prac.,,. while I might have ref to work from, I have to adjust and it’s about getting ideas across… too.. and well. the drawing has to look more finished too. and since I just draw arms for figure prac I don’t focus on it as much but when I drew character drawings….

—anyways this exercise was good for just loosening myself and quite fun that way…

today’s art:

—okay so I just did really VIDEOS!!!! and then went to through this rabbit hole and found.. well I guess first I should start with. I really needed to learn how arm connects to the shoulder asince I think I just forgot????and my gosh I found this super good comprehensive video that did demonstration and everything. it was really good

—honestly after that I went through rabbit hole of seeing his other videos and then well… I found this super long skull video and was watching and then it started to do a draw with me sides of skull and I did want to follow through so I just decided to do that later when I could draw with… and well then.. I just went off to do other stuff

—i don’t plan on drawing today and if i was, probs just general studies but ahaha i was on x and it really inspired to draw my otp and SO I PLANNED TO. but then it turned into redraw of someone else’s art and then into prac ahahah.

—the first one wasn’t great at all… and I just wanted to focus on the pose instead!!! and see what I was doing wrong etc. One of videos I watched made me think about that. Talking about focusing on analytic and like looking at what you drew and finding out what you did wrong and etc. And I do think that was good thing to be aware off and so I did that… and well even if I don’t think the last one turned out amazing or anything I do think it made me realise stuff. like how in the pose it was the arm that was stretching out to the knee…

—and so since I liked doing this n thought was fun/nice I did another pose study! And oh man the hands were HARD tin this one I still have no idea on how to fix it and just gave up in the end lolllllllll. Arms. Arms were hard. Why do I keep saying hands when im talking about arm lollll

—but one think I did realise that I was doing wrong was when drawing lower part, in trying to get the legs right, I forgot about the butt that was actually sitting down. and cut it off since the crouch wouldn’t be visible… and so it was helpful in remembering stuff like that. and trying to visual posing better: like it made next time to remember to think of whole pose and how it interactions with whatever it’s doing and even bits that can’t be seen. like being aware of stuff like that is really important.

—and well after that wasn’t feeling like doing any more pose studies and well… I SKETCHED IN THE IDEA FOR THE COMIC I HAD???? very happy about that

—okay lol I did think of doing some kind of script but cba to and was keeping in mind this comic tips/tutorial I came by that stuck with me yesterday. for first panel I very obviously can’t draw backgrounds and just couldn’t be bothered to look up refs and just scribbled in general idea I had for it. and for the next one I tried hard to make sure my figure was reading well (to me) like the general idea I wanted for it and later in did feel in general idea of background which im happy about.

—the initial idea that started this was the next two panels. ahaha I really just wanted to draw him being tied. can’t believe they did that. I mean I can but still lololol. and I do like the close up in next panel from diff angle. also this made me concious of how expressions ain’t my strong suit lmaoooo.

—and well after that is where things started to fall apart. like I had general idea in my head of what I wanted but I feel like the pacing n etc wasn’t great at all but I think it was good to get the general idea and everything tdown… so im happy that I actually sketched in the idea for comic. soooo happy. ^^

—and welllll remember juv art from yesterday. I realised after a bit that she doesn’t like she was sitting at all lololol despite that being intention. cuz I feel like I was so focused on getting the length of leg correct that I forgot that she was sitting so her knee would be higher. and well. I just wanted to fix that.

—added a bench because why not. and honestly im…..not sure that I did fix it completely. It still seems off…? but ehhhh i got her to look like she was sitting so that’s a win.

—I wasn’t planning to draw anymore but while taking screenshot for this post…I ended up just drawing some figure pracs and ahahah these didn’t go well at all. it was alright. But like mabnnnn even while keeping in mind what the video said (the dots around the arm meaning to represent scapula so just to keep in mind while drawing the arm) but ehhjhhhb I feel like like my arms isn’t at alll good. like I feel like I just forgot everything. so I think it’s best to watch videos of people drawing …. that always helps.

—and well but I didn’t want to end it there and wanted to draw something nice……to finish the the day with… something that would feel nice about. and yeah no that didn’t happen. 😔😔😔

—I thought while it’s been a while since I drew my lil srda too<3 I should do it but yeah no. it went horribly. well that’s kind of an exaggeration. more like I just…? don’t like….? I think it might have to do with the brush and how out of prac I man with drawing her hair… cuz man I have def drawn better srdas in my time. I feel like it might be her expression so. I changed it but it wasn’t. So I did an overdraw just because but it wasnt lollll. and I do think it’s funny how her expression gets more sadder. like the way I felt (more disappointed) when drawing it LMAO

I actually like the first one drew the most…… 😔😔😔

They have a regular customer now☺️...

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Photo by @yunyun160

man I’ve been feeling so bad about my art lately,,, ahahah…. :’ but hey. looking at my art journal entries here helped a lot… omg…. thank u past self.