Exactly

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.

More Posts from Unicornteacup24 and Others

unicornteacup24

11 months ago

happy pride! this dragon is gay <3

Tags

lgbtqia dragon Youtube rainbow pride pride art keiynan lonsdale

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unicornteacup24

5 years ago

Miles Morales for the win!

This movie was amazing

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fanart into the spider verse miles morales

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unicornteacup24

1 year ago

Wiggle

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reblog first thing i thought of jAson Derulo you know what to do

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unicornteacup24

3 months ago

shawngela in every episode → 5.07

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unicornteacup24

4 years ago

Loki as a teen, playing Midgardian card games be like:

...This makes me wonder about the Avengers during Uno though

I'm late for this meme, but i don't care, tbh, I HAD to draw this.

Tags

loki norse mythology UNO norse gods norse loki I had to share

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unicornteacup24

3 years ago

So, I got on a dating site, filled out the info and everything, right? Going through some guys' profiles; age preferences; who I think is cute and such. Talking to my sister @charnellecatastrophe about how it's been so far....Bruh, some of them just put "ask me later." "Ask me anything." "Text me to find out XD!" etc. And nothing else! Everything else is just left blank!

Like, the reason you fill out the info about yourself and the type of person you want to date is so you can find someone who might be compatible!

I'm really about ask the most random and uncomfortable questions just to mess with 'em

"Does Hocus Pocus make you horny?" “You ever been to jail?" "Do you know about your car's extended warranty?" "How do you feel about horse porn?" "Do you read 4th grade workbooks for fun?" "Do you like cheese on macoroni?" "Have you ever cut your sister's hair with a chainsaw?"

You said I could ask anything 🤔

@charnellecatastrophe also pointed out how sometimes, it's the reverse: you fill out the info and some don't even read it! Like, say I put that I dislike horror movies. Cue, the meet up and you're buying two tickets for Paranormal Activity 87. Why? Cause, you didn't read my info or look at my interests. Another thing I thought of was safety. Like, what if you're deathly allergic to peanuts, flowers, etc, and I bring Reese's peanut butter cups, or a rose as a meetup gift. Now, you're dying, because you didn't mention that at all.

Tags

[i said what i said] wtf?? relationship dating random questions why is it like this? i cant with this shit

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unicornteacup24

9 months ago

my friends r so talented. rb if ur friends are talented

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unicornteacup24

4 years ago

John Mulaney is a mood💜

Also, here's an I'm-sorry-that-your-job-sucks cookie🍪

Me: So now that’s schools out for the term I have to go back to working full time and because I have anxiety I’ll put up with anything. Like I’ll choose to work at some garbage white person food chain. You know I don’t want to name any actual restaurant chains so lets just make one up and so lets just call it Panera Bread.

Me: So I’ll go back to work at Panera Bread and I show up at the restaurant and say “Can I come back in to work safely again?”

Me: And they’re like “NO! CUSTOMERS ARE GONNA COME UP TO YOU AND YELL IN YOUR FACE! AND NOW THERES GONNA BE A STUPID LITTLE BELL RINGING ALL FUCKING DAY FROM THE CURBSIDE PICKUP!!! A N D YOU HAVE FOUR WEEKS OF CROSSTRAINING TO MAKE UP BECAUSE YOUR FRANCHISE CLOSED EXTRA LONG DURING QUARENTINE!!!”

Me: And I go “Okayyy Motherbread” and I go to start crosstraining. Then I finish crosstraining and I go: “Okay this is a lot of new stuff and I don’t fully understand the new safety measures”

Me: And they go: “yeah, we’re just gonna have you start working right away during rush hour with no help or anything. BECAUSE WE HATE YOU. AND WERE GONNA GIVE YOU THREE TIMES AS MUCH WORK AS NORMAL. Now take this curbside order and shut up!!! GO! FETCH!

Me: And I go: “Okayyyyy thank you Motherbread Sir” and I go out with the curbside order and get yelled at by a customer who threatens to call the fucking marines because we got her order wrong. (The order wasn’t wrong. The soup was UNDER THE BREAD BOWL YOU DUMB FUCKING SHIT)

Me: Then I come back inside and say: “Can I please have a little time to catch up on my work that’s building up?”

Me: And they go: “NOOOOOOOOO!”

Me: And I go: “Okayyyyyy! Thank you the superior grace emperess dictator Motherbread!”

Me: And they go: “You’re a dumb happy little employee aren’t you? You LOVE it here!!!”

Me: And I go: “noooo! Noooo!”

Me: And they go: “Say it!”

Me: And I go: “I’m a dumb happy little employee! And I LOVE it here!”

Me: And then I go over to finish learning the new helpful training protocols which is an oxymoron and I go: “Can I please learn how to properly sanitize equipment and take credit card orders over the phone?”

Me: And they go: “Nooooo! We’re gonna make you relearn every station you’ve ever been trained for! And then, we’re gonna frame you for murder! And you’re gonna go to jail for 30 YEARS!”

Me: And I go: “Why are you doing this to me?”

Me: And they go: “Because we’re Panera Bread and life is a fucking nightmare!”

Me: But then sometimes I work morning shifts and it’s better

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unicornteacup24

4 months ago

Want this! Also, Bob is the red one. They all have different names because I just thought of this and yes.

Red- Bob

Orange- Chester

Blue- Devin

Green- Sprite

Purple- Malia

Lavender- Sophia

Deep Green- Forest

PepperMint- Cole

Skyblue- Cloud

BluePink- Opaque

Party- Translucent

RedBlue- Peter

LightPink- Princess

YellowPink- Shel

BlueGreen- Aqua

BioBlue- Marine

Yellwo- Typo

TealBlue- Glasz

Fear- Scarecrow

Black- Bruce

Shrimp- IttyBitty

unicornteacup24 - ✌🏾Hey y'all, it's TheUnicorn 🦄 💜🫧🍂

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artists on tumblr creative writing random thoughts rainbow art crab tumblr hall of fame crab art bob the crab of course they have names

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unicornteacup24

3 years ago

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

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