I Just Choked On My Cereal 😂😂😂

*Me as a human being*

The bros are all sitting around eating dinner when Mikey pulls out the first pun, (you wanna pizza me bro?) and Raph is already groaning. Soon it turns into a competition between Casey, April, Mikey, and Donnie.

Eventually Leo joins in.

Raph gives up and starts walking away before I stop him and ask for a favor. He gives me a wierd look but agrees.

At the end of a particularly bad pun (from Leo) I slam my empty soda bottle on the table where Raph crushes it with his fist. "Wow guys, that was soda-pressing."

*Cue airhorns*

Casey face palms, April claps, Mikey loses his shit, Donnie is so shook he can't move, and Leo looks like he's praying.

*Yea, definatly describes me in a nutshell*

😂😂

Any embarrassing stories Splinter is more than willing to share about when the boy's went through puberty? 👀

Thankfully Splinter keeps those things for himself but if he would talk … how boy, the embarrassment would be real. Like when they first found out they had a penis. Or maybe not that they had one but more what it could do. And they acted so awkward about it. As if Splinter was stupid and didn’t exactly know what they were doing behind their locked doors. There was no way Splinter would ask them about it though. He might be there father but he sure as hell don’t want to know every detail of their life. When they found out they liked girls (and how goddamn stunning all of them were) they all went in to a “secret mission” mode. Trying to get as many old - and used good god - playboys and other magazines as possible. The things you find in the sewer.

Voice changes oh boy. Raph has always been bossy but when his dark, raspy voice developed he was even more cocky than usual. Too cocky for his own good since Leo (and Splinter) could see right through him: that he was still a huge softie. A big brute with a heart as soft and sweet as a pineapple. That’s also where Mikey’s nickname for him came from (Big, cuddly teddybear - another embarrassment that no one should know about).

They had some mood swings too. And while they never left the sewer, they were too smart for that and knew Splinter would send them to the Hashi for 2 weeks straight, they always found ways to grind their dad’s gears. Either by pranking him, hiding for as long as they could or simply never do what he wanted them to do. Of course Splinter isn’t stupid either and came up with the most embarrassing punishments. Wearing a cute apron while cleaning was the nicest still.

Or when half of them decided to not shower anymore (“You’re a turtle, living in the sewer, don’t you smell bad enough?”, Splinter thought) while the other two showered and pampered themselves as often as they could.

And the clothes they wore (or wanted to wear since non of them really fit) were outrageous. Nothing matched, everything was old, stinky, hole-y. And the worst thing is they were proud of that. “These boys will be the death of me”, Splinter mumbled as he hoped for puberty to be over soon.

YO WRITERS

Stop what you’re doing right now and go write 3 sentences of your story.

Every time you see this, write 3 lines.

Reblog so other writers will do the same, let’s finish these damn stories.

When you're writing and you realize you have to kill off a character

When you're writing and you suddenly realize you don't know what happens next

I am so glad I found your page! Your work is amazing! So I was wondering what if the boys were sent to wake up their crush (who's stubborn and won't leave their bed) and they resort to pulling off their blankets to find their crush in only a tank top and underwear. How would the bro's react?

Leo: 

The poor turtle would most definitely have a heart attack. He’d smother them back in blankets before he could so much as glimpse any part of their body that he wasn’t supposed to see. He’d also effectively wake them up, after his crush was jarred out of sleep to what seemed to be a hyperventilating terrapin trying to suffocate them in blankets.

Raph:

The guy would freeze, torn between two options: leave and try to pretend it never happened, or be a peeping tom and continue to stare at that gorgeous body a while longer. By the time he figured out staring at them was straight-up pervy, they’d already begun to feel cold and realized the blankets were being held in his hands. He was banned from their room for a month.

Donnie:

Oh my gosh, he actually screams. He stumbles away and tries to escape the room (like that’s gonna help, his screech already woke up his sleeping beauty) and accidentally trips over his own feet, falling backwards into the closet and causing a basket of laundry to fall on his head. He walks out, pride wounded, having seen more of his crush’s undergarments than originally planned.

Mikey:

So, the crush wakes up upon hearing him enter the room. Mikey’s all bouncy and ready to start the day, so he doesn’t heed their warnings that they’re half naked. He pulls off the covers, squeaks like a mouse, replaces them quickly, and trots out of the room, all the while hearing his crush’s hysterical laugh and a shout of ‘I TOLD YOU SO!’

SHUT UP AND SEND ME THE SIN SO I MIGHT POISON PEOPLE WITH THE HORNY

Do you take NSFW requests? 👀

Why are you asking?? You already know I do, or did the literal two fanfics of pure smut I wrote you go over your head? 🤣

This, this is amazing 😍😍😍

Ok so I was reading the fic where Raph goes crazy when his s/o churrs and I was hoping that you could do one with Donnie. This time tho he's all shy bean until s/o churrs back and then he loses it and takes charge. We need more shmexy Donnie, and also your blog is amazing. I've been reading your stuff for the last hour. Thank you for being an amazing, beautiful human 😆😄😁😁❤💜

Thank you so much for the request! Hope you like it. Your kind words are making me smile.

WARNING 18+ CONTENT!!!

After getting home from work she hurriedly showered and changed into a black pencil skirt and lavender top. She applied a little gloss to her lips, mascara to her lashes and spritzed on some strawberry scented perfume. Taking one last look in the mirror she grabbed her keys, and locked her apartment door. As she was driving she found herself happily singing along to the radio. She couldn’t wait to see him.

His name was Donatello. He was tall, covered in lean muscle, and very nerdy. He was also a mutant turtle and had a Bo that he effectively wielded against crime. Donnie and his four brothers had rescued her during an altercation involving the foot 11 months ago. She always had a soft spot for the nerdy but strong type, and it didn’t take long for her to see past their physical differences.

Keep reading

I think a long dead Victorian orchestra is haunting me... 😐

please reblog if you hear music inside your head all the time

Ok I swear I'm sane and this is normal for me but I just woke up and had the greatest headcannon. Leo can do an amazing Shakira impression.😂😂 His bros only know cause they heard him singing in the shower and Mikey peeked in to confirm that Leo was not only listening to her, but he was the one singing😂😆 (Sorry I keep sending wierd shit in I just feel like you appreciate my weirdness more than most😬)

I appreciate your weirdness my friend!

This made my fucking day. I'm wheezing at these

Incorrect Tmnt quotes

Mikey: What does 'take out' mean? Donnie: Food. Leo: Dating Raph: Murder Y/n: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Donnie: Favourite horror movie?

Mikey: It

Raph: Saw

Leo: Annabelle

Y/n: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Leo: Croissants: dropped

Raph: Road: works ahead

Y/n: BBQ sauce: on my titties

April: Shavacado: fre

Mikey: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Donnie:

Donnie: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Y/n: Change is inedible.

Donnie: Don't you mean inevitable?

Y/n, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Mikey: Hey Donnie,

Donnie: Yes?

Mikey: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Donnie:

Donnie: Where’s Y/n?

Donnie: April isn’t answering their phone

Y/n: I’ll call

Donnie: Casey and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

April: Hello?

Y/n: Top 30 reasons why y/n is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Raph: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

Mikey: I'm incredibly fast at maths.

Y/n: Alright, what's 30x17?

Mikey: 47

Y/n: That's not even close.

Mikey: But it was fast.

Donnie: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Raph: Nope, absolutely not.

Leo: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Mikey: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Casey: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Y/n: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Splinter: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Leo: ...I did. I broke it.

Splinter: No. No you didn't. Mikey?

Mikey: Don't look at me. Look at Y/n.

Y/n: What?! I didn't break it.

Mikey: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Y/n: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Mikey: Suspicious.

Y/n: No, it's not!

Raph: If it matters, probably not, but April was the last one to use it.

April: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Raph: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

April: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Raph!

Leo: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, person A.

Splinter: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Raph: Splinter... Donnie’s been awfully quiet.

Donnie: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Splinter, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Splinter: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Splinter:

Splinter: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

'Can I copy the homework?'

Donnie: I can help you with it!

April: Yeah, sure.

Y/n: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Raph: lol nope.

Mikey: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Leo: *Read 5:55pm*

Leo: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

Leo, driving y/n and April: So how was your day?

Y/n: We almost got surprise adopted!

Leo: What?

April: We almost got kidnapped.

Leo: Oh, okay.

Leo: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!