Y'all Don't Understand How Funny This Is

THANK THE FUCKING LORD I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A SCAR HEADCANNON FOR OVER TWO YEARS NOW!!

YOU THE REAL MVP MY DUDE!

Who wants some TMNT meta about scars?

Because I have a bunch of that!

(side note this is my favorite raph face, he is so judgmental and superior I love it)

Keep reading

I just choked on my cereal 😂😂😂

I’m…I’m sorry…

I know it's been an ungodly amount of time since this post, but I just chugged some coffee and have a spare moment, so buckle tf up cause I got an order of poly smut for ye.

Head cannons for my favorite bois (with smut) :3

When you very first got together they had no problem with sharing you

It only became awkward when you wanted to get freaky with them at the same time

They're not technically related but they grew up together and it took a good fair amount of time to figure out how to work around that

One time while they had you spit roasted between them they made awkward eye contact

Donnie proceeded to gasp and shout "step bro, what are you doing to my girl?"

Mood immediately ruined after you and Donnie couldn't stop laughing

Leo left and refused to talk to either of you for two days

After many months they've figured out how to get in the swing of things

After lots of awkward moments and a fair bit of coaching on your end (as well as late night conversations that no one wants to have with their siblings), they've made it to this moment

Started off with you cuddling between them while watching spooky movies

Your head was on Donnie's chest while your legs draped over Leo's

The raunchy, over exaggerated sex scene starts playing

You declare that the noises the girl is making are way too fake

"They're supposed to sound like this"

*moans loudly next to Donnie's ear*

Honestly what were you expecting to happen??

The movie is now turned off, while y'all are turned on 😌

So now you're stark naked in front of them while they stare you down with hungry eyes

They continued letting their gazes roam your body hungrily, each with a hand on one of your knees to keep you from hiding your core from them. Neither of them have taken off a single piece of clothing and your cheeks are burning from embarrassment.

"What are we going to do with you?" Leo asks, and you know he isn't looking for an actual answer from you.

Donnie licks his lips as his gaze stays glued to your core. "She moaned right into my ear, so I think it's only fair that I get a taste of her first."

They make eye contact then and you hold your breath, waiting for the awkward tear away.

Instead, the air grows even heavier with arousal as they seem to reach a wordless agreement. No one knows why or how, but something about the tension and the way your already splayed open for them has them uncaring for the awkward implications for once.

Leo sits next to you, a hand roaming up your thigh before skipping to your chest and massaging it between his thick fingers. His lips press against yours softly, surprising you, but you lean fully into it as his other hand comes to cup your face.

When he pulls back you can see arousal deep within his ocean blue eyes and the look leaves you breathless. Leo then grabs your hips and you gasp, fully expecting him to sit you against his clothed arousal.

Instead, he places you between his legs facing his brother; his thick hands wrapped under your thighs to spread you open.

You know struggling is useless against his strength, but you still find yourself attempting to close your legs to hide your wetness.

"Now now hana. You know there's no point in struggling when we both want you. We wouldn't want to have to punish you now would we?" Leo tisked next to your ear huskily. "Especially not with Donnie eating you up with his eyes like that."

You look up to meet Donnie's heated golden stare. Knowing both of your lovers had such carnal looks on their handsome faces only made you wetter, and you whimpered as the cold air met with the wetness between your legs.

Before you could blink the purple turtle was between your legs, glasses torn from his face and tossed onto the couch next to you. With Leo's hands keeping you spread open he used his to part your folds and inhale your delicious scent before gently licking at your clit.

Your head landed against Leo's shoulder as you gasped at the feeling, but almost immediately you yelped as the turtle between your legs bit your inner thigh.

"Fucking look at me while I'm eating you darling," Donnie demanded, and your eyes opened to meet his commanding stare from between your legs. "Good girl," he crooned and you whimpered as his words fed the flame in your core.

Without wasting another moment he was eating you out like a man starved. You bit your lip to hold back your moans as you kept your eyes locked on his obediently.

When a single thick finger was pressed against your entrance you moaned lewdly. "Careful baby, you don't want the others to hear us do you?" The voice behind you was laced with lust and you could feel the hard length pressing into your back through his jeans. "Any minute now they could finish their workout and turn off that loud music, and then what do you think they would hear, hm?"

Donnie chuckled as he came up for air. "They'd hear our sweet girl begging to be filled like a bitch in heat."

You gasped as he shoved his finger fully inside of you, only further proving their point as your noises increased.

"Fuck hana, you sound so sweet. Make me want to just," your head was pulled to the side as he spoke right against your ear, "bite you and mark you as mine."

The feeling of his teeth against your neck had you cumming unexpectedly against Donnie's face. He slurped up your essence without question before lifting his head and licking his lips. "God I forgot how fucking dirty you are. And you didn't even look away once? I think you deserve a reward," he praised as he stood and shed his pants, cock already out. How had you not heard his belt?

Donnie snatched you from his brother to allow the other to strip as he placed you down against the couch cushions. "Tell me what you want baby," he teased as he kissed your face.

Unable to find any words you simply tilted your head to present the opposite side of your neck to where Leo had bitten you. The taller brother let out a laugh. "You want me to mark you too? Oh darling you really are our dirty girl."

As he dipped his head to run his nostrils against your neck you made eye contact with the now naked man behind him, staring at you with just as much intensity as before. You really needed to figure out what was different this time around because you'd been pent up for months, and now you were whining and desperate for them to ruin you, no matter the consequences.

A deep inhale came from against your neck. "Fuuuck, you smell devine." Donnie growled before sinking his teeth into your skin.

Leo caught your lips with his before a moan could slip through and he swallowed it happily with a churr. After a moment the kiss turned downright sinful, his tongue invading your mouth and coaxing more sounds from deep within your throat.

When he pulled away you whined at the lack of presence only to have a hand cover your mouth. "Shhhh," Leo said, a finger to his lips, and you all grew quiet as you listened.

The music in the background had stopped and footsteps could be heard just outside of the TV room. Oh shit, had they heard you??

The brothers shared a look before grinning and looking back down at you. "How quiet do you think you can stay baby girl?" Donnie asked.

Oh.

Oh fuck.

You prayed to anyone listening that you wouldn't be caught, but you couldn't deny the heat that grew in your lower belly at the thought.

And then they were both on you.

Hello! I just found your blog and may have been scrolling through your posts for about an hour now 😅 I, like you, have a soft spot for both Donnie and Leo, soooooooo, how about some smut with both of them in a poly relationship??

AJDJDKSAKA YES

I'm so sorry but I just saw this, I moved and took extra shifts to be able to pay rent, but now that I'm quarantined I'll try to whip up a one-shot/headcannon list for you. Let me know if you have anything specific you'd like to see! 😊

I feel like human Mikey would be Tom Holland

Human!Turtles (2014/16)

SO, 

if the turtles turned human. And they didn’t look like the actors that played them, how do you think they’d look? I HAVE IDEAS, BUT FEEL FREE TO CHALLENGE ME (:

Leonardo:

TOTALLY think he could be a young Tom Welling:

LOOK AT THAT SMILE

YESSSS IS IT JUST ME WHO SEES THIS ASDFGHJKL;

Raphael:

Charlie Hunnam is my go to man for Raphael:

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN

ARE YOU TELLING ME RAPH WOULDN’T KEEP A BEARD (mainly bc he’s too busy working tf out to realise he has hair on his face) AND BE A COMPLETE HUNKY HUNK HUNK

Donatello

DONNIE = Nicholas Hoult

SWARVE AF AND HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT

LOOK AT THAT LADIES AND GENTS 

I couldn’t find any big gifs pls don’t kill me bUT LOOK AT THIS SMART GENTLEMAN I COULD TAKE HIM OUT FOR DINNER AND LET HIM MEET MY MOTHER GOD DAMN

Michealangelo:

I chose Dylan O’Brien for Mikey bc why wouldn’t I…

ABSOLUTE GOOFBALL LET ME LOVE YOU ASDFGHJKL;

SO SMOL SO BEAN MUST PROTECT!!! (also couldn’t find any body/big gifs for dylan imsosorry)

ok yeah that’s all enjoy this my loves, also pls tell me if u think i’m wrong bc i probably am <3

This was so well written, and I am so hot for this man. God I love him. Thank you for this treat! 😭🙏🏻

Delicious Desire

Alright Turtle Doves,

It's my birthday in a few days and even though I'm 7,000 miles away from home, I'm feeling the love.

For our resident genius.

Lord help me.

This is the first time I have ever posted something without a proofread by my darling @leosgirl82

Forgive me, my love 😂😘

And a huge THANK YOU to @digitl-art-monstr for helping me with this 🥰

This One-shot is 💯 self indulgent.

You'll know it when you see it 😂

Without further Ado,

I give you,

My insatiable thirst...

18+ content - for mature audiences only!

Reblogs only, please!

Delicious Desire

It's the week of your birthday and your genius boyfriend has taken to spoiling you rotten with an extravagant surprise every night, leading up to the big day.

So far, he has brought you on the most romantic dates known to humankind.

However, after seeing you all dolled up at the masquerade last night, and dancing suggestively with his eldest brother, thanks to having one too many *adult beverages*, Mr. Romance loses himself to his more primal instincts…

There's only a few days left before your big day, and you're super excited to see what your boyfriend has in store for you tonight.

However, when you get to the lab and open the double doors, all the lights are off.

Well that's odd.

The moment you step through the entrance, fairy lights that have been set up on the floor - like runway lights - illuminate a path to the lab table.

Standing there is Donnie. Leaning up against the table, arms crossed, with that *flirty Don look* he does so well.

Wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist.

Barely.

He pushes himself off the table and reaches out to you. Walking forward and taking his hand, you realize the runway lights continue on through the back half of the lab, leading to his bedroom door.

He remains silent as he leads you to his room.

Upon entry into his purple-lit cove, there's a long table on one side of the bed with candies, fruits, whipped cream, chocolate - anything you'd ever want as a topping on an ice cream sundae.

"We having a midnight snack?" You ask with a smirk.

He leans down and whispers in your ear, "No, we aren't - but I am. And you're the snack."

Holy mother fucking shit.

You look at him in shock. Full blush blossoming over your face and chest.

He gives you a sultry look.

"God, I love that I can make you blush like that," he says, his hands on your waist as he pushes you towards the bed.

Your brain has temporarily shut down, having never seen this normally cool, calm, and restrained man go from flirty to feral over you. You feel the bed hit the back of your legs, and automatically go to sit down.

He stops you.

"Be a good girl," he purrs, tugging at your top.

You comply, pulling your top off as he relieves you of your bottoms.

His hand disappears behind you as he stands, unclipping your bra, and adding it to the pile of clothes on the floor.

Looking down at you like you're his prey, he nods up towards his pillows, never breaking eye contact.

Before you can even climb up, he's already hovering above you. His mouth has already closed in on yours, desperate and devouring as you gasp, while lying down. His hands hungrily grabbing and squeezing at your body as he moans into your mouth.

He breaks the kiss and moves his mouth to your ear.

"This isn't what I had planned for tonight. However, after seeing you in that dress last night…" he trails off as his lips make real estate on your neck.

You can't help but reach up to him, hands roaming all over his shoulders and biceps.

"Jesus, Don. Last night in the shower…"

"Not nearly enough," he says, "I'm feeling a bit territorial, and possessive. I know there's no need for me to worry, but…"

His lips are back on you. Your chest this time. He still has his towel wrapped around him but it's doing nothing to hide his excitement.

He moves his lips back up to your ear, "He had his hands all over you last night, and now I'm being petty…"

*Kiss below your ear*

"and selfish…"

*kiss with a little suction in the same spot*

"and extremely greedy."

*bite* - *as he rolls one of your nipples between his finger and thumb*

"Holy shit Don," you moan.

"Mmm," he hums through a kiss, "I'm gonna make you so happy, they're gonna hear you through the soundproof walls," he purrs.

Oh my GOD

He's lost his mind 🔥

And you are living for it.

He takes your hands and brings them above your head, then grabs at something on the headboard.

You feel your wrists being restrained as he gives a quick tug.

He looks down at you, and his features suddenly soften, "we don't have to do anything you don't want to. And if there's something I start doing that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me. This is me being greedy over wanting to pleasure you. I want to make sure my desire is reciprocated," he says softly.

You nod, giving him the consent he's looking for, and he sits back on his haunches and smirks.

"Those are my legstraps, by the way," he winks, and reaches over for a bowl of liquid chocolate.

You close your eyes and shake your head with a smirk, blushing all over again.

He drizzles the deliciously warm chocolate over the peaks of your breasts, making a line that joins together, from each breast, to where the bottom of your sternum is. He continues, trailing the chocolate down the middle of your stomach to the top of your pubic bone.

He looks up at your face and gives you that *flirty Don look*. Except it's not flirty, it's hungry, and sultry, successfully causing a rush of excitement between your legs.

"That's gonna taste much better than the chocolate," he growls.

His mouth goes right down in between your thighs for a quick, exploratory taste.

You moan as he laps at your entrance a few times before bringing his sinful tongue to your pubic bone and proceeds to clean the trail of hot fudge thoroughly - licking and sucking every drop as he gets to your pert nipples.

He cleans the chocolate off with one firm lick, before pulling the entire bud into his mouth to tease, swirl, and flick.

All those gasps and whimpers he's responsible for, are causing him to rut against the mattress, where he's resting between your legs.

He moves to the other side, giving the same attention before bringing his lips back up to yours.

"You know…"

*kiss*

"I have a table full of delicious treats…"

*kiss*

"but all I want…"

*kiss*

"is to taste you," he says softly, right before he slides his tongue through your astonished, parted lips.

He reaches down between the two of you and frees himself at the opening of the towel, pressing his tip, teasingly into your entrance.

With the help of his hand, he drags his excitement up and down your entire slit, making sure he circles your clit with it, each pass.

"Don please…" you're begging.

And he loves it.

He smirks, moving himself away from your warmth and uses his finger as a replacement, slowly sinking it inside to find the right spot.

And he finds it immediately.

He pumps his finger in and out, slow and torturous, massaging your front, inner wall.

You attempt to move your hips against him to assist him in pleasuring you.

But he's not having it.

As he continues his torturous pleasure, he puts his mouth by your ear, "Don't worry, Sunshine," he coos, "Daddy is gonna take really good care of his good girl."

"Oh, fuck," you breathe out, pressing yourself downward, almost uncontrollably.

He chuckles, mouth still by your ear, "You really like the Daddy thing, huh?"

You let out a shaky breath in response, unable to form a coherent thought, nevermind a full sentence.

"That's good… Cuz I do too," he whispers, moving his lips to your neck.

While he's leaving open mouth kisses, and nibbling at the sensitive skin of your neck, he adds his thumb to the fun he's having between your legs, successfully making you yell his name.

He teases and massages all the right places, at just the right pace until your breathing picks up considerably, and you feel yourself starting to peak.

And he pulls his hand away.

Your eyes go wide and you look at him accusingly.

He gives you a dirty smirk.

*Cue bedroom eyes*

"Daddy please…" you moan quietly.

His face sobers instantaneously. He puts his hand under one of your thighs, bringing it up towards your chest while removing the offending towel, right before sinking himself into your soaking wet core.

"Oh God, yess," you hiss as he grunts a barely restrained thrust.

"Untie me," you breathe out, "I want to touch you."

He reaches up with one hand and undoes the strap, never missing a beat as he maintains his steady pace.

You can see him clenching his teeth as he tries to keep himself under control.

Pulling his face down to yours, you push your tongue through his lips, eliciting a loud moan.

You feel as he starts to slow his pace and his hips start to stutter.

He's almost there.

Pulling at his arm, you signal him that you want him to let go of your leg, and successfully move it back down by his hip. You lock your calves around the backs of his thighs and slip your hand between the two of you, making small, quick circles with your fingers, to help you catch up to him.

"Oh my fucking God," he growls, and slams his mouth to yours as his whole abdomen tightens, sending you over the edge with him, after that last hard thrust of his hips.

You tear your mouth away from his as shockwaves of electricity flow through your body. You throw your head back, as your body arches up into his, singing praises to his name while he kisses your neck.

Once your soul comes back to your body, you bring your hand to your forehead to push the hair back from your face, as you try to catch your breath.

You realize he's staring at you.

"Yes?" You ask with a flirty smile.

"I love you," he whispers, kissing you a few times.

"I love you too," you tell him, draping your arms around his neck.

He scoots down a little, removing himself from inside of you, and rests his head on your breasts.

"You know, I've had so many fantasies about you, and it's still hard for me to believe that I actually have you now," he confesses.

You smile as you run your fingers along the back of his neck and out over the top of his shoulder.

"I'm all yours," you tell him.

He slips both arms under you and squeezes.

"I know," he says.

You lay there like that for a little bit, and the need to know is killing you, so you ask with a smirk, "What's your favorite fantasy… And has it been fulfilled?"

He's quiet for a minute.

"Yes," he says quietly, "you fulfill it every day."

Now you're thinking. What the fuck do we do every day.

"What is it?" You finally ask him.

He moves up again, looking down at you for a moment before responding.

"You tell me that you love me," he says, coming in for a kiss.

Done.

Your heart is singing.

"You have no idea how much I love you," you whisper through kisses, as he wipes a tear you didn't realize had escaped your eye.

"I think I do," he whispers back. He puts his lips on yours and slides his tongue back into your mouth for a full taste. He pulls away and adds some suction to the kiss as he does, making you squeeze him in-between your thighs.

"Mmm," he smirks, "I like that, too. The suction. I could've eaten you alive the first time you did that to me," he confesses.

"Why didn't you?" You ask teasingly.

"Because you weren't exactly mine, yet," he says with a look.

"If I'm adding suction to a kiss," you say, pulling his face closer so his lips hover above yours, "then I'm looking to be eaten," you whisper.

He growls as he attacks your lips with a thirsty desire.

You can feel his fully hardened member pressing against your inner thigh, again.

"You're not sleeping tonight, Sunshine," he says through needy kisses.

"I'm ok with that," you tell him.

And he continues to love you for the rest of the night, until you're sure you'll pass out from the sheer amount of mind blowing orgasms he's gifted you…

Oh, and he might be right…

You may owe the household an apology for keeping them awake all night.

Soundproofing or not.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

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When an add interupts my music

ADS THAT SUDDENLY TAKE UP THE WHOLE PAGE

This is adorable and shone some light into my dark, sad life. Thank you for this😍😍😭😭💖💖

How would Leo act like a gentleman to his crush or s/o? Like little situations or behaviors for my boy in blue. Please and thank you 💗💗

((A/N) If you want more (like fluffy stuff - holding hands, how he’d cheer you up etc) please just ask. Leo is my second favorite and I would LOVE to write more)

- he would hold any door open for you

- he’d give you 294285 compliments every single day. From the way you look, to how he loves that shirt on you, to telling you what a beautiful soul you are

- he’d be comforting whenever you feel sad

- he’d rub your back and tell you that everything will be fine

- he would ALWAYS put you first

- he’d share his favorite tea or food with you

- he’d protect you from whatever

- let’s say you’re afraid of spiders, he’d make sure there wouldn’t be a single one in the house / room / apartment / lair.

- he’d constantly ask you if you’re okay and if not he’d try to make it better

- he’d get some pads / tampons for you when you’re on your period

- he’d cook for you after a long day

- and he made your favorite dish

- Leo would know when you needed privacy and would leave you alone for as long as you needed

- no looking at you when you were changing clothes (when you first started dating, now he does it from time to time)

- always speaks up if anyone makes fun of you

- especially if any of his brothers are giving you a hard time

- in bed, he would always ask if you’re okay and if not he would immediately stop

- he’d always ask before trying something new (like bondage for example)

- if you were okay with it, he’d take is as slow as he could, to not hurt you

- speaking of, he would NEVER hurt you

- he’d treat you like a princess and would read every wish from your lips

- he can read your mind like no other and when you frowned he would want to know what happened

- if you need a cuddle, he’s there. if you need a make out session, he will be there immediately

- he’d buy you little gifts

- like chocolate, flowers or just give you love letters and poems that he wrote

- he loved writing poems about you

- and would read them to you as soon as he was done

- he’s never been one to show off his private life but with you it was different. his brothers needed to see how happy you make him

- whenever you send or show him a selfie, he’d immediately put it as his lock screen

- also he’d tell you how beautiful it is (and he truly means it)

"RETREAT!! GET TO SAFE GROUND!"

"SHUT UP MIKEY!!"

*Here comes China*

"What in the world..."

"GOT HER!"

"RAPH, PLEASE ACCEPT THIS OFFERING AS WELL AS OUR DEEPEST APOLOGIES."

HC that Raph has a fine china tea set and NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE.

It’s official in my book.

Can’t change my mind, sorry.

Why am I finding pictures of you in my phone?

I took that 20 minutes ago, how tf do you have it??

I think a long dead Victorian orchestra is haunting me... 😐

please reblog if you hear music inside your head all the time