Unstableflames

Mexican red-rumped tarantula By: Chris Mattison From: A Practical Guide to Exotic Pets 1994

“I am always between two worlds, always in conflict. I would like sometimes to rest, to be at peace, to choose a nook, make a final choice, but I can't. Some nameless, undescribable fear and anxiety keeps me on the move. On certain evenings like this, I would like to feel whole. Only a half of me is sitting by the fire.”

— Anaïs Nin, from “The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934.”

Always stuck on the other side of the glass. Can never cross paths, except by violence.

my daily habit of continuing on

Joaquín Nin, from a letter to Anaïs Nin, featured in Reunited: The Correspondence of Anais and Joaquin Nin, 1933-1940

there’s a part of me that isn’t the same anymore.

Thank you for letting me experience your love. Thank you for letting me share my love with you all those years ago. If there had to be anyone in this lifetime to hold that title of being my first love, I’m glad my soul chose you. The greatest gift you’ve ever given me, long ago, was showing me what love is supposed to feel like.

There will come a day where I won’t be able to recall your face. As the years pass by, my memory got foggy. Your voice has gone, followed by your laugh and then…your touch. You lingered until you eventually went away. A distant memory that I used to know. What can never fade is knowing that what I felt, what we shared, was real…and that I loved you. Even with age, I’m relieved to know that my body will remember what my mind will forget.

A decade later and yet, I am still protective over you and our story. I always will. You’ll always have a piece of my heart. Thank you for everything. I’ll go now. It’s time for me to let you go.

—A farewell to my first love

— Elaine Kahn, from “Romance or the End.”