This One Did Numbers On Tt

long time no nikolai..

crush

happy wedding night...!

₊˚.༄ hide + seek

spooktober 2024 masterlist

☾₊‧⁺˖pairing: asylum patient!nikolai gogol x asylum attendant!fem!reader

☾₊‧⁺˖genre: angst + fluff; slightly suggestive

☾₊‧⁺˖content warnings: manipulation/mind games, infidelity, nikolai's a bit of a meanie in this one lol

☾₊‧⁺˖notes: meant to follow the events + be a side story of the get free series (between pt 1) just pretend it's still halloween okay

☾₊‧⁺˖ word count: 5.3k

"Happy Halloween!" You chirped happily, handing Nikolai a pumpkin-decorated gift bag with his favorite Ukranian candies and sweets. There was an assortment of minky binky, roshen, and ABK chocolates inside⎯which you'd learned were his childhood favorites.

Your patient paused before opening the bag and observing the treats inside. He looked...melancholic almost? He took the candies out in his hand and turned them all over to look closer at the packaging, silent.

You opened your mouth to speak but closed it, unsure if you did the right thing. Your husband had warned you not to bring gifts for any of the patients⎯and especially not Nikolai⎯because it would promote unwanted feelings and attachment, but you brought them behind his back anyway. You hated how strict all the protocols in place were, and how they treated the patients like they were evil monsters instead of normal people that just needed help. After all, Nikolai wasn't a monster. To you, he was⎯

Arms wrapping around your waist and warm breath hitting the shell of your ears forced you out of your thoughts, and you yelped as you felt Nikolai's toned body pressing into yours, "Thank you, dove~" He patted your head affectionately and you felt some loose strands of his white hair tickle your face. "Halloween is actually my favorite holiday, y'know?" He hugged you closer, and you felt your back hit the wall of his holding room.

"When I was a kid, my neighbors and I used to go around the nearby houses and say 'Varyatyky or sweets!' It was meant to be a a tradition to 'overcome' evil spirits!" You nodded and tapped on his chest to tell him he was crushing you, and he finally released you from his grip.

When he pulled away, his once sad eyes were now sparkling with excitement, and you gave him a questioning look, which he seemed to catch on to, "Ah, I was a bit sad earlier because the candies you gave me reminded me of my past life," He solemnly took your hands in his, "And I've been trying to escape the old cage I was in for a long, long time. I guess it made me feel weird..."

You tilted your head in curiosity⎯you swore that every time you thought you understood Nikolai, he always threw you off again. He giggled suddenly and spun you around, catching you back in your arms and embracing you again so your back was against his chest, and you shrieked from the slight dizziness, "You make me feel all sorts of weird emotions, ptashka, but I don't hate it."

For some reason, that made you smile softly as Nikolai rested his chin on your shoulder, his heterochromatic eyes still trained on you. You placed your hands over his, which were wrapped around your waist, and paused momentarily before peeling them off of you as usual. Your eyes caught your reflection in the steel mirror off to the side. Although distorted, you could clearly see Nikolai's body wrapped around your smaller one and how relaxed you looked. It definitely didn't look like an attendant and their patient.

It felt nice. Being held like a lover felt nice.

This was bad. He was being too affectionate, and you were playing along a little too complacently. Were you really this touch-starved? Wouldn't letting another man touch you⎯a married woman⎯like this be bad in any other situation?

Your doubts and uncertainties were interrupted when Nikolai whispered into your ear.

"Love, can we go play in the courtyard later today?"

₊˚.༄

The crisp autumnal air hit your skin, but it was nice. The orange and red foliage contrasted the stark white asylum you were in all day, and the tan trench coat you threw on helped keep you cozy and warm in your short dress. Well, that and Nikolai, who was connected to you with linked arms. He would stop every few steps to squeeze you in his arms, claiming he was "too cold and needed heat" even though he refused to put a coat on.

The patients had just finished their midday snack, so he smelled like the powder-mix apple cider that was served in the cafeteria. The scent of sour apples and cinnamon was comforting enough to you, so you didn't complain much about his antics.

You exhaled, watching your breath materialize in the chilly air, "This weather...it makes me wish I could give out candy to the trick-o-treaters," you smiled sadly to yourself, "I always like decorating the house during this time of year and seeing their happy faces when they come to our door..."

Nikolai paused, stopping your steps briefly and walking in front of you, holding both of your hands now. He walked backwards, crushing leaves under his feet, "Why don't you do it tonight, then? You get off work before they start to come out, right?"

You shook your head, "No...it's been four years since the asylum opened, and in those four years, my husband has always forced me to work the night of Halloween, so I can never celebrate." You paused, looking up to see some doves flying in the sky, but Nikolai pulled your head back down to him.

"That's a shame, dove. If you were with me, we could dress up in matching costumes together and surprise all the kids," He started skipping frantically, pulling you away from the main area of the courtyard, "Oh! I could do your hair and makeup, too, I'm pretty good at that sort of stuff, y'know? I could even make you a custom costume!" You squealed as he started to skip faster, spinning you in circles and making you dizzy. You were both getting farther away, the fountain no longer in sight.

He pulled you close to him again, his blue and green eyes wildly piercing into your shaky pupils, "If you just left him, we could make that a reality, myla." His hands grasped your arms tighter and your lightheadedness was making his words feel hypnotic, "Why don't you just leave him already? You don't even love him, do you? He hurts you; you hate him. And I hate him even more. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I fucking ha⎯"

"Ahh⎯Ow⎯" You gasped sharply from the pain of Nikolai digging his nails into your arms and pulled away from his tight hold, mind still a bit hazy. "S-Stop it, just stop it, Nikolai..." He gave you a disapproving glare, but you continued, "He's my husband and my boss, so I have to obey him. I can't just up and leave him whenever I wan⎯ack⎯!" You stepped backwards and stumbled on a stray boulder, and time felt like it went slower as you lost your balance and toppled onto the ground, your back and head hitting the dirt.

You groaned in pain, feeling the ache in your skull. Your patient, however, didn't seem too concerned and only sneered when he watched you hit the ground. You narrowed your eyes at him and felt his presence as he crouched down to assess you for any injuries. Nothing too serious.

He giggled manically while picking some dried leaves out of your hair, "Say, dove, if you really miss the kids, why don't we play a childish little game?" You grunted and tried to swat his hand away, but the dull throbbing in your head prevented you from being successful.

You tried to glare at him, but a chill ran down your spine when you glanced over to see a wide grin on his face and the same dark, unreadable look clouding his eyes, "Hmmm, why don't we play hide and seek? It's a fun game, right, ptashka?" He gleamed brightly at you again but barely gave you a chance to object, "Yeah, that sounds fun, doesn't it? How about you count to thirty and then come look for me?!"

You winced again, placing your hand over your head to try and alleviate some of the pain. How desperately you wanted to scream at Nikolai to stop and help you, but the constant pang blocked you from doing so. He tilted his head innocently, "Oh, a prize, you ask? Well..." He pondered mockingly, "What about winner decides? And no cheating, okay?" He took your phone and walkie out from the pocket of your trench coat and shut down your phone so no one could track or contact you. You whined when he threw a part of your coat over your eyes to blind you.

His presence left you as he dusted himself off and stood up again, "Thirty seconds, okay, myla?" You tried to reach for his foot, but he was long gone, and all you could do was listen to the distant crunching of leaves and hysterical giggles grow farther away from you.

Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven...

₊˚.༄

The sun had set by the time you opened your eyes again, finally mustering up the strength to get off the ground. You rubbed your back and looked around⎯it had probably been closer to thirty minutes since Nikolai had ran away.

Internally, a tick set off in your head telling you to look for him. You checked your empty pockets and decided that you should try and catch him first before reporting anything. After all, he was technically your responsibility, and the thought of your husband hounding you over losing a patient hurt your brain more than the spinning pain.

You tried to think rationally⎯if you had woken up on the ground, then surely no one had noticed both of your absences or caught Nikolai. Just calm down and try to find him.

You looked around, trying to guess where he'd ran off to, but the ground didn't give you any clues as to which direction he'd gone. Not that you were surprised, though, since he had plenty of experience running away.

It's fine, it's just a silly game⎯he didn't really run away or escape. You tried to calm your mind and think of a plan to get him. Deciding that treating this as a game would help your sanity, you cupped your hands around your mouth, "R-Ready or not, here I come!" You squeaked out, your shaky confidence showing through your voice.

You ran towards the fountain, hoping Nikolai would be there since he was always drawn to the koi fish and rose garden. You walked towards the direction of the structure, the crisp air filling your lungs as you frantically looked for him. Calm down, he's definitely there. You smiled to yourself, envisioning him playing with the fish or tossing rose petals into the water pools of the marble fountain. It was a ten-minute walk, so you tried to enjoy the fresh breeze blowing through your hair and massage the knots in your strained back.

What you weren't expecting was...nothing. There was just a maintenance worker tending to the garden and pulling out weeds. No sign of your patient. You walked around, looking behind every bush and up into each individual tree, but you still saw nothing. The gardener would glance at you occasionally, but you kept searching tirelessly, trying to go beyond the bounds of the elaborate labyrinth to see if he was hiding in a more inconspicuous spot. Still no luck.

You mustered up the courage to go up to the worker and see if he'd be any help. Maybe it was cheating, but you were starting to get impatient and doubt was beginning to sink in.

You cleared your throat, "Ahem," the worker turned around, "Excuse me, but have you seen anyone pass through here recently?"

The old worker smiled, the corners of his mouth crinkling upwards in a smile, "Well, yes, actually⎯lots of people. Anyone in particular you were looking for?"

You breathed a sigh of relief, "Have you see a tall man with white hair? It's probably in a braid, and he has heterochromia⎯one eye is green and the other is a bluish-gray with a vertical scar," The gardener only gave you a confused look, "...he's pretty young and fit..." You trailed off, concerned by the look you received.

The elderly man scratched his head, "I haven't seen anyone like that around." He paused, recognizing your attendant uniform, "Is he your patient? We can get security involved if it's a serious problem. Actually, let me radio the bos⎯"

You grabbed his hand apprehensively once you saw him reach for the walkie on his belt, "O-Oh, sorry, I just remembered I handed him off to another attendant." You let out a fake laugh, trying to reassure him no action was needed. No matter what, you couldn't get your husband involved.

The worker eyed you cautiously but then shrugged, "They really overwork you attendants so much you start to forget things, huh? I've heard you're understaffed."

You forced out another laugh and nodded, "Haha, yeah, they do..." You perked up, smiling as another precaution, "Thank you for your help, though, sir! I-I'll be on my way now, so please resume your work." You waved to him and started walking back towards where you fell.

"Young lady! Where are you headed off to? The asylum's back there!" Your eyes widened at his voice calling out after you, but you turned again, feigning confidence.

"Just taking a walk to clear my head!" You waved again, and he shrugged and tipped his hat to bid you farewell. You turned around and cursed yourself silently, both for acting suspicious and still not finding Nikolai.

As soon as you couldn't see the old gardener anymore, you started sprinting, hard, back towards your starting point. The fall air was now burning your lungs and your heart was beating violently fast, swelled with anxiety about the whole situation, and the fact that Nikolai could very well be gone by now. And it would all be your fault.

A pit formed in your stomach as you thought of all the potential repercussions you'd have to face, but also at the thought of never seeing Nikolai again. Of knowing that was your last interaction. Somehow, the thought made you want to run faster. It felt like you had to find him.

₊˚.༄

The forest. You hadn't checked the forest yet.

It was darker now, the once coral sky had turned navy blue, and the sky was much dimmer. Almost two hours had passed, but you still hadn't found Nikolai.

Despite the cold, you were sweating from anxiety. There was no way you lost him. Maybe if you called for him, he would come out of hiding? He did seem to have some sort of obsession with you. You looked around again before stepping closer to the mass of colorful trees.

"Miss, is everything alright?' You whipped your head around to see the second-to-last person you'd want to encounter at the moment⎯Lacey.

Her blonde bob was swaying from the light breeze and her emerald eyes shined with fake concern, "Where's your patient? Gogol, right? Nikolai Gogol?" She ran up to you and tried to reach for your arm, but you stepped away before she could touch you.

Somehow, you felt strange. No one had ever said Nikolai's name before, as they were too scared to acknowledge him because of all the crimes he'd committed. The way his name flowed off her tongue in such a tender way irked you for some reason.

"He's fine." You mumbled, forgetting to add a nicer tone to your voice. You coughed suddenly, remembering that Lacey was likely there for a reason, and that she'd run off to the boss immediately if she caught on to the situation at hand. "Ah, did something happen? You should be done with work by now, right? It's late."

Lacey shifted, peering over your shoulder like she was trying to look for your patient; you felt your palms getting clammy. "Well, you and Gogol have been gone for two hours, and your walkie and phone both aren't able to be contacted. The boss sent me to look for you because he was worried about you both..."

Worried, sure. Definitely not just because he was a control freak that needed to know your wherabouts all times. She gasped dramatically, bringing a hand up to her mouth, "He didn't run away, did he? He isn't with you⎯" her brows furrowed and she looked around, "Should we call security? They can deploy helicopters and dogs to search from him!"

You felt a lump in your throat when she said that, fearful of her taking action and exposing you. You reached for her shoulder reassuringly, "Oh, well, there's no need for that," you raked your mind for any sort of plausible excuse, "Nikolai's just...um...using the bathroom! He's in the woods right now, so I'm just waiting for him to finish." You tried to laugh to throw in some emotion, "Sorry I didn't tell you in the first place. It's kind of TMI and embarrassing!"

Lacey stared at you suspiciously but nodded slowly, "Oh...I see." She grimaced at the thought, "Men are really gross, aren't they? For a patient to do that...how uncivilized..." You forced another painful laugh and agreed with her, wrapping your coat tighter around yourself to shield your shaking body. You couldn't tell if she was dumb enough to believe you or not.

Lacey smiled at you, "Why don't I wait with you, then? Once Nikolai comes back, we can all walk back to the white ward, and then I'll go home!"

Your mouth felt dry. Shit, you were really going to be caught now. You couldn't tell her that you still didn't know where your patient even was. For all you knew, he could've successfully escaped the asylum premises by now. You tried to open your mouth to object, but you didn't know how to do so without making yourself look more suspicious.

Think. Think. Think, damnit.

Lacey's humming made your head hurt, but you suddenly thought of another excuse, "Oh, Lacey, could you actually bring me a new walkie? My old one and my phone died earlier, so I gave my walkie to a guard and asked him to bring me a new one, but he never did." You clasped your hands together, "They should be in the break lounge, and you can ask IT for help configuring it. That way, I can radio in, and you can head home!" You hoped that convinced her, and luckily her eyes lit up at your suggestion.

"Sure! It's honestly a little cold out here, so I'll go back inside to get you a walkie." She pouted, "I kind of wanted to meet Gogol. He's stuck to you all the time and hates all the other attendants...I'm sure we would get along, though!"

Lacey flashed the brightest smile at you, and you had to restrain yourself from throwing a rock at her sly face as you adjusted your coat. Certainly she didn't think Nikolai would make an exception for her⎯she was way too irritating and two-faced. "Well anyways, I'll head back. I'll come back to this spot afterwards with some guards to get you and Gogol." She waved goodbye to you in a childish manner before skipping away, and you watched intently until she became a small dot in the distance.

Your palms got sweaty again as you realized you had thirty minutes at most to find Nikolai. Your heartbeat increased as you ran into the forest and looked up into the branches, hoping to catch sight of him.

Still unsuccessful, you started to panic. "Kolya!" You cried out, cupping your hands over your mouth to project your shouts, "Kolya, where are you?" You ran deeper into the woods, dirtying your clean shoes and getting scratched by branches along the way. It was dark and the foliage covered the light, so you couldn't see very well.

The hairs on your neck stood up, and you heard some distant rustling. Looking up, all you saw was a dove in a tree, feeding some of the babies inside its nest. You stopped to stare for a bit before moving on, going deeper into the mess of shadows. Anxiety kept creeping up on you as you continued shouting Nikolai's name.

"Kolya, please! I give up, so you can come out now! Please, come out, please⎯" You kept running, and your throat felt dry as everything started to dawn on you. You'd been wandering for ten minutes. It was getting late, and beads of cold sweat stuck to your skin. Your body still hurt. Lacey and the guards were going to be here soon, and when they were here, they'd find out you were lying about everything, and Nikolai was actually nowhere to be found. You'd lose your job and very livelihood. Your husband would get angry and take it out on you and your family. You'd be locked away for aiding a global criminal in escaping one of the most secure places in the world. Or even worse, you'd be declared mentally insane and be stuck here, as a patient for your husband and Lacey to look down on. It was all your fault for believing you could trust Nikolai or be his friend.

Your back hit a tree trunk, and you slid down slowly, curling up into a ball. Tears flowed out of your eyes, and you whimpered to yourself. You felt ashamed and alone. For a moment, you felt used. You cried, feeling desperate. You couldn't believe you were about to ruin your life over conflicted emotions you had over an insane man. You should've just been a good, compliant wife and not follow your heart. You should've never tried to seek freedom.

"K-Kolya," you sobbed silently, "I just wanna see you...one more t-time. Don't leave me please, you..." You're all I have. You're the only person in this world I can really talk to. You couldn't speak the words out loud, in denial over your forbidden feelings. You closed your eyes as you sobbed, only looking up when something small and hard got crushed under your shoe.

You wiped your tears and nose with the sleeve of your coat, eyes focusing on a white and red striped circular object on the ground. A minky binky⎯one of the candies you'd gifted Nikolai. You got up slowly upon seeing several more leading deeper into the woods, resembling a trail of Ukranian candies.

Your feet started to pick up their pace as you followed the trail, stopping when you got to a clearing, where a short stump was surrounded by an assortment of dried leaves.

Your teary eyes widened when you finally saw your patient, glowing from the moonlight and with a dove perched on his hand. Nikolai released the bird into the night sky and smiled at you in a melancholic way. "Oh, you found me. Took you long enough, ptashka. You really are terrible at hide and seek."

Without hesitation, you ran into his arms, wrapping yourself around his frame. You helplessly gripped onto his sleeves and dug your face into his shoulder, not wanting him to see any evidence of your tears from earlier. "...I didn't think you would run away so far...I thought I lost you..."

Nikolai only laughed. "Dove, honestly," he said cheerfully, "You were never going to find me, I'm far too clever for that!" He pulled you away from his shoulder, but what he didn't expect was your face, illuminated in the moonlight, with tears clinging to your eyes and your lips and nose swollen from your earlier weeping.

"K-Kolya, please don't leave me again," you wiped your eyes and sniffled, "I was so s-scared⎯"

Nikolai's faced softened and he embraced you in his arms, stroking your hair gently and trying to comfort you. This was...strange. He'd never seen you display such strong feelings of emotion or sadness. And to think you were crying over him of all people...he didn't hate the fact he was making you cry, but it bothered him that it wasn't because he wanted you to cry. A small frown appeared on his face and his heart felt...slightly heavy from seeing you in this state.

He spoke in a soft voice, trying to reassure you with his presence. "Hey, dove...I didn't mean to make you cry, really…I was just trying to make it a little harder for you to find me, I wanted to surprise you." You continued sniffling and Nikolai used his thumb to wipe away more of your tears, trying to make them stop. "Why...Why are you so sad?"

You covered your face in embarrassment, ashamed of breaking down in front of your patient, "I⎯", you started, head screaming at you to shut up and step away, but your lightheadedness made you more vulnerable, "I thought I was going to lose my job, and I didn't want my husband to find out about us," Nikolai's head perked up, but he rubbed your back.

"Was that the only reason?" He stared into your eyes sympathetically, but also like he wanted to hear more from you.

"No...I also...was scared I'd never see you again." You exhaled shakily, "Your mannerisms, our conversations, you always holding my hands or hugging me, I don't...I don't hate it...They've made my dull life somewhat more interesting." You looked away, "If I lost that...if I lost you, I would feel so empty again. You make me...happy for some reason."

Your patient's eyes widened. Nikolai made you...happy? But he wanted to make you free. Or was he just using you to alleviate some of his boredom? Wasn't making you happy the same as him committing himself to you, and you tying him down by making the two of you codependent? But that was what he was trying to escape from...he wanted to be free from the control and ideals of others.

You went on, talking about how Nikolai was the only person you could talk to about your personal life, how he made you feel special at times, but Nikolai's own inner thoughts drowned out your words. Stop. Stop it. Stop your babbling. He fumbled a lollipop out of his pocket and stuck it into your mouth, silencing you like a baby with a pacifier. His eyes brightened, overwhelmed by you. Your eyes wavered, not being able to handle the intensity of his stare, and the same thought plagued both of your minds.

Were you catching feelings for him? Was he more attached to you than he thought he was?

Nikolai caressed your cheeks, drying the last of your tears with his dampened sleeve. He slowly kissed your eyelids, catching the saltiness of your teardrops. "Myla, the words you're saying and the game you're playing...you could make a sane man mad."

You blushed, suddenly being hyper-aware of the fact you were both alone. The thought made you shudder. Anything could happen and no one would see.

"Are you cold, dove?" You yelped when Nikolai's strong arms pulled you into his lap, so you were straddling him. You placed your hands on his shoulders and squirmed awkwardly to try and get off, but he firmly held you in place. He dug his face into the crook of your neck, "Oh, your skin's freezing. Should I warm you up?" He smirked playfully before biting down lightly on your neck, making you jerk up and gasp. He started kissing the mark, simultaneously holding your legs open and rubbing circles on your thighs. A small moan left your throat, which you instantly regretted, and you tried to close your legs, but it was no use.

You squeezed his shoulders, "H-Hey, what are you doing⎯s-stop⎯"

Nikolai giggled mockingly, "I technically won our little game of hide and seek, so this is my reward. Winner got to choose, remember?" He continued littering your neck with kisses, "I want you to treat me like your lover for ten minutes, or until we get caught." His dark eyes cut into you, "Otherwise, I'm really running away. And you won't be able to stop me." You whimpered as he licked down your skin, baring his teeth against your sweet spot, about to leave a hickey.

You mustered up some strength to push him away, "W-Wait, you can't leave a mark then." He frowned, staring up at you. You sighed, feeling defeated but knowing you didn't have any other option but to comply with his wishes, "Kiss...lower instead. The marks won't be visible..." Your cheeks flushed as you threw off your coat and slowly undid the buttons on your uniform, the dress falling down your shoulders and stopping right under your collarbones.

Nikolai watched as the fabric dropped and nuzzled into your exposed skin, "So soft..." He kissed down your collarbones, dragging his tongue with each kiss. You moved your hands up to tangle in his white messy hair, pulling him closer as he made his first mark above your collarbone, the feeling of his teeth biting down making you jolt and press down farther into his lap.

One of his hands left your waist to pull your dress down further, and you gasped as the cold air hit your chest. You tried to instinctively cover up, but Nikolai was already palming one of your tits through your lace bra and kissing the other. He groaned from finally being able to explore your body more, and you could feel the tent in his pants pressing against your panties.

"S-Seriously, Kolya..." Your skin felt hot, the feeling of being this desired feeling foreign to you since you and your husband barely got intimate...and when you did, there wasn't any real love or passion to it. Having someone worship your body like this⎯it made you want more.

You pulled on Nikolai's hair and gently rolled your hips to press down more on his bulge, drawing deeper groans from him. "Myla, a-ahh, you're so pretty..." He kissed in between the valley of your breasts and looked up at you, "You should just be mine and mine alone." He sucked on the exposed part of your tit and marked another spot there, kissing it afterwards. He repeated his motions on the other breast, his touch making you whine, the sound being absorbed by your lollipop.

"Mmm...your skin is so nice...I wonder how sweet you taste, ptashka." His other hand was still caressing your inner thigh, and it was dangerously close to slipping inside your lacy underwear. He could just⎯

"Miss! Mr. Gogol! Are you in there?" You both stopped as you heard Lacey's shouting voice and saw cut-up rays of light through the tree trunks. She had come back as promised with guards, evident by the heavy footsteps coming towards your direction.

"Ah, I guess our time's up, then? Too bad..." Nikolai sighed disappointedly, teasing you with one more bite over your bra, earning a surprised yelp from you, and you hurriedly re-did your buttons. Nikolai looked upset, wishing you could've gone further, but deep down, he knew this little back-and-forth game between the two of you wouldn't end anytime soon.

He got up slowly from the stump and swiped the cherry-flavored candy from your mouth, savoring the taste of you on it. You pouted, but he only laughed at you in return, slowly walking away as you picked the twigs and leaves off your trench coat. He stuck his tongue out before licking the lollipop, "Don't be sad dove, I'll taste you someday~"

You ran up to meet him and tried to get the blush off your cheeks, already trying to think of a lie to tell everyone on the long walk back. He intertwined his hand with yours, giggling to himself as Lacey and the guards finally came.

He was sure you'd scream when you saw the hickeys at home, which he'd purposely left in a diamond formation, like the ones on playing cards. That way, you wouldn't forget he was the one who marked you, and that your heart belonged to him.

Trash Sugar Magic MEDLEY

❥ 001: ᴛᴇᴀʀ

contents ❥ nikolai gogol x fem!reader, fluff, 1.2k words

links ❥ MAIN MENU, gif+dividers are my edit/mine!

Getting kidnapped a few days ago is really not on your agenda. But your kidnapper has been kind—well… sort of, if you minus the times he pushes you roughly, tugs your hair, ties your legs to the bed posts, seizes your jaw and shakes your head as he mocks you for being so spoiled. 

However, this time, his kindness will not compensate for what he has done. 

“Nikolai.” You call him when he is in the room, crouching by his wardrobe to rummage through the drawer for something. You are not able to move. Your legs are tied. You are forced to sit and lounge on his bed with some old books accompanying you. 

Nikolai does not respond though, as if your call is too small for him to hear. But really, he just ignores you. 

“Nikolai.” You call again, louder. But he does not even turn around. Huffing and clenching your fists, you hastily take off your white cardigan, bundle it up into a ball and toss it towards the man. 

The cardigan perfectly lands on his hand, submerging his face in the fabric scented with you. 

“W-What the hell do you want?” Nikolai stands up immediately as he pulls your cardigan off his head. His face is red and his voice is coated with a tint of fluster.

“You ignore me.” You pout, crossing your arms. “You must pay for what you've done.”

“W-Wha… What’d I do?” He asks back, baffled. You point at your baby blue dress, exactly on the neckline where there is a rip, caused by his rough handling of you a few days ago. It was not big of a rip but yesterday, Nikolai was in need of using the bathroom and he shoved you away as soon as you got out a little too hard. His grip on you accidentally stretched the fabric and made the rip bigger. 

This is your favourite dress and the big rip is exposing your chest, for God's sake! Nobody wants to be this exposed during winter. 

“This is your fault.” You say as you keep your finger pointed at your cleavage where the rip is located. 

Nikolai’s eyes are staring but he looks visibly confused. 

“I… don’t understand.” He says. You tilt your head, huffing again as you lift the ripped part to make it obvious to him. 

“Where did you look? This tear right here wasn’t that big a few days ago!” You whine. 

“Oh,” His Adam's apple throbs and he awkwardly looks away. He takes a deep breath, shakes his head before he runs his palm over his face. “So, what?”

“Fix it. I love this dress.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“But you did it.”

“Yeah, and I do not give a bloody fuck.” With his hand on his waist, he waves his other hand dismissively. “Does that rip even matter right now? What matters is that I’m gonna get my money from babysitting you.” He says before he turns around. 

“Hey, wait! Where are you going?” You ask, crawling to the edge of the bed. “Give back my cardigan.” 

“I’m going out. You stay here and don’t think of doing anything funny. I will know.” Nikolai says before he smirks as he holds out your cardigan. “It’s gonna be cold. Here, take it.” He tosses the cardigan to the corner of the room. 

“H-Hey!” You try to protest. There is no way you can reach it, especially when your legs are bound to the bed. You hear Nikolai’s mocking cackle, followed by the click of a shutting door.

Meanie. 

— ♡

You wanted to give Nikolai the silent treatment. But your rebellion was cut short when he got home by eight with mushroom and chicken pie from Olga’s diner and three pieces of brownies given by Olga herself. The dinner was fulfilling enough for you to forget your sulk. 

You changed your dress to a sweater, provided by him, to sleep in at night. The weather is getting colder and with sniffles between your begging, he gave you one of his sweaters. As usual, you are still tied to the bed at night—you do not understand why he is still reluctant to trust you, as if you have anywhere safe to go. 

You fold the dress and the cardigan—you grabbed it when you were free earlier—and set them on the drawer by the bed. Then, you lay down, eyes looking at the door. The room’s light is turned off and you can see the dim light from the living room. Nikolai is probably working on something you do not understand. 

Well, you have time to get to know him. With that in mind, you sleep. 

You are deep in your dream. Even the softest sound of the door being pushed open does not wake you. A tall figure approaches the bed. 

Nikolai stares at your body. The sweater completely fits you, covering your skin and providing extra warmth for the night. The cheap blanket barely covers your body, as if your movement during your sleep also moves the blanket away. Silently, he takes it and drapes it over your body properly. 

His eyes then fix on the folded blue dress on the drawer. He takes it and walks outside, plopping on the couch that has become his new bed for the past few days. Slipping his hand into the jacket he wears, he takes out a cookie container. He opens the lid and reaches for a needle and a roll of white threads. 

“I hate this girl,” Nikolai grumbles to himself before he slips his hand into his pocket and takes out a pair of glasses. “I can’t even fucking see right.” He sighs as he wears it. He holds the needle and with his tongue slightly out for extra concentration, he tries to put the thread through the needle hole. 

The living room is as quiet as a graveyard. The only thing that makes noise is Nikolai who occasionally hisses when he accidentally pricks his finger with the needle—Ah, curse his flawed eyesight… He even tries to not frown so hard as he tries to focus—massaging his temple to ease his strained eyes. Nikolai certainly does not want to get wrinkles at this age. He is more than glad that he does not start balding like the inmates he used to talk with. 

An hour passes and with a snip of the remaining thread, the rip on your dress has closed. He holds the dress up, checking his handiwork. Almost perfect. The white of the threads is a little visible if he looks closely but overall, your dress looks fine now. 

Nikolai runs his hands through the fabric, seeking any other tear that he might have missed. He finds none, really, but he does snip some pointy threads from the existing seams on the dress. Once he is satisfied, he places the dress on his lap, staring at it. 

He remembers it—the night he trailed you from the bar you worked at from afar. You were not really a contrast amidst the snow. Rather, you complimented the sight. 

A girl, at night, alone. 

You looked like you were just begging to be taken away. And after a few days of having you in his house—perhaps you did want to be taken away. 

Nikolai waits. He waits for the day you spout anger and demands him to release you. He waits for the day you call him a bunch of names. He needs it to happen right now, at this period where he still hates you—where his annoyance is still fresh and his affection hasn't bloomed. 

Because it hurts none now.

©cherikolya 2025 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated

if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!

Hey!!!!

Your art is so SCRUMPTIOUS I adore the way u draw Smc!!

Can you draw Smc getting y/n delivered to them like a present (let’s be real candy apple and black sapphire would be the ones who did it for him)

Sometimes self care is putting your silly little clown in silly little outfits

Today's Sigma: does nawt like being near nikolai 😭

6:09 a.m.

synopsis: after nikolai insists, you and him both spend a very long and passionate night together...

content: fem!reader, dom!nikolai, nsfw, aftercare, a bit of fluff, mdni

One more round.

One more round is what Nikolai had promised a few hours ago. Yet here he was, thrusting deep into you relentlessly like there was no tomorrow. However, you didn't mind, for you allowed him to do so with a weak voice after he begged you for another every time. He was just that good at getting everything he wanted. Missionary was what he decided for this supposed last round, wanting to end it off with a romantic position, as he put it. You and Nikolai had been at it for hours now, trying different positions, taking time to explore each other's bodies, basking in the glow of all the overwhelming pleasure. It was exhausting, sticky, and sweaty— all of the above times two. Nikolai's endurance was no joke, though, after many hours, his signs of tiredness were finally starting to show through.

This didn't happen often, where you would stay up all night loving each other like this, a rare occurrence, actually. But Nikolai's dramatic tirade last night of claiming he would die without a goodnight kiss was what started this in the first place, and things escalated rather quickly from there, fueling his hunger to indulge in you.

"Fuck, harder!" A loud moan elicited from Nikolai as you pulled on his hair, his deep tone sending a shiver up your spine. It was one of his favorite things you did during sex, and he even encouraged you to be rougher and harsher with him. It's not like you could hurt him easily, at least not physically, anyway.

You felt bad for your neighbors who had to hear the lewd noises coming out of Nikolai's mouth at the ungodly hours of three to four a.m., most likely disrupting their sleep. You wouldn't be surprised if you got a noise complaint sooner or later today, even though you tried your best to tame him. You smacked him, clawed at his back, and harshly pulled at his hair too many times to count in an attempt to get him to be quiet, but that was an obvious mistake on your part because your actions only made it worse, eliciting louder moans and harder thrusts from him like he was a dog in heat. It shouldn't surprise you that Nikolai is a fucking freak, that he already alluded to a long time ago.

“Kolya, I'm.. I'm almost—”

Nikolai's face was buried into the crook of your neck, inhaling the sweet scent of your skin that was invading his senses, his hot tongue making its way through slightly parted lips to drag along raw bite marks and hickeys that littered your skin, all while his throbbing cock drove deeper into you. His big hands were on either side of you, gripping the sheets with glistening fingers still coated in slick.

"Yeah, baby? Just a little bit more, 'kay? I'm close too.." he cooed.

The backs of your hands were on your face covering your eyes, unwilling to meet his gaze while you looked like a vulnerable mess, shuddering from the blissful yet almost unbearable pleasure he graced you with. Nikolai noticed this and pulled your hands away from your face, making you look right at him as he intertwined his fingers with yours. Your glassy eyes and red face were so so cute to him. He loved how you looked in this moment, even if you felt embarrassed and didn't want him to look at you. He was the one doing this to you, making you feel so much pleasure that you were unable to string a sentence together. His face didn't match his brutal pace at all, every roll of his hips sending you into complete ecstasy.

One more thrust and you felt like you would unravel.

“A-Ah— Mmh!” He covers your mouth to muffle your noises.

"You're being so loud you know, wouldn't want to get you in trouble, now. Would we?" He removed his hand, returning to hold yours while eyeing the small pout on your lips that formed from his words.

"You're the loud o—Mfh!"

Nikolai latched his lips onto yours as he pounded into you, those last few pumps sending both of you over the edge and making you finally release for the nth time.

"F-Fuck yeah.." Nikolai moaned into your mouth as he rode out his high, his voice making you even more dizzy than you already were.

Once he opened his eyes again after ravishing in his high, his fingers swept some hair that was sticking to your forehead aside. Despite being absolutely drunk in pleasure, he was still being so sweet to you, checking up on you every hour or so to make sure you were holding up from the tiring activity. It was obvious he had taken a toll on you, taking the hints of your fucked out state and panting as signs of clear exhaustion. He chuckled a bit and slowly pulled out of you, groaning in the process as you were still clenching around him.

You fell back on the mattress dramatically as soon as he was out, closing your eyes.

"I think I wore you out completely." he laughed.

"What time is it?" You ask as you rub your eyes, your vision still blurry from tears.

Nikolai reached for his phone on the nightstand, checking the time. He held out his phone to you, pointing at the screen while wiggling his eyebrows. "My my, we spent so long together."

"Just read it, I can't see clearly right now."

"It's 6:09, very fitting time don't you think?" He smirked, giggling at his own joke.

You lightly hit his chest and turn your head to the window, noticing how the sun started to rise. Light seeped through the curtains, the sun finding its grasp on your skin, the subtle rays making themselves visible on the creases in the sheets.

He rubbed the spot where you hit him and laughed. "Feeling feisty, are we? I like this side of you."

"I can tell by the way you wouldn't shut the hell up."

"Aww, are you cranky? Want me to fix it?" His hand trailed up your thigh again before you slapped it away.

"Kolya, I'm tired.." You whined, feeling too disoriented and tired for his antics.

He only smiled before grabbing your face to plant a huge smooch on your lips, followed by multiple forehead kisses.

"I know honey, I'll take care of you. I'll go get you some water, okay?" He got off the bed and left the room, and you shamelessly stared at his bare state while he did so. He returned a few minutes later with a cool glass of water for you. Bringing the glass to your lips, he helped you sit up and drink, making sure you down the water carefully.

"Need anything else?" He asked, sweeping some hair that kept falling over your face behind your ear and planting a sweet kiss on your cheek. You shook your head, placing the glass on the nightstand before your eyes trailed, watching him put his boxers on.

Nikolai leaned back to stretch before reclining onto the mattress, his toned arms relaxing above his head, revealing the marks you left and the sheen of moisture glistening like diamonds on his body. Scratches covered his whole back and arms, and a wave of heat washed over you, realizing that you were the one who did that to him. He looked so pretty lying in bed like that, his eyelids fluttering closed. Not to mention, he had the cutest bedhead and a raspy voice from being so vocal.

"I'm exhausted.. let's stay in bed and sleep for the rest of the day." He said as you moved lower to press your lips on his arms to soothe any discomfort you may have caused him to endure, causing a smirk to fall upon his lips. You took all the more severe repercussions, but you're still taking the time to kiss him better. He moved his arm around to rest on your thigh instead, kneading the flesh to ease the soreness in your muscles.

After a few minutes of massaging you, Nikolai shuffled closer to wrap his strong arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest. The gentle heave of his chest relaxed you after what had just ensued— it never failed to, always bringing you back to your senses. You ruffle his fluffy hair, running your fingers through his soft locks and caressing the nape of his neck, resting your hand there for a bit to feel the warmth of his skin and his sweat.

"Do you want to shower?" You ask him in a softer voice.

"In a bit, I just want to stay like this right now." He hummed contently, looking up at you with a playful grin painted on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're pretty." He says before laying his head back down, his fingers tracing patterns on your heated skin.

"Go to sleep, you're tired too."

"Can't, dove. I feel so awake now after seeing you so I wanna stare at you instead."

Are you truly free as a bird?

Sometimes i forget that Nikolai still doesn't know Fyodor is alive :D