Valdeswan - Attempting To Write

Rosalin: so, Cale, how's your slacker life going?

Cale: Good. The other day I was reading a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.

Rosalin: pff- *high pitched* yeah? I-im glad-

get me on the call with eric kripke because I need to know his version of the supernatural finale. I just know it would've been a banger. it would've been the darkest of shit and horrifyingly gory and too tragic to even rewatch but it would give you a fetish so bad you'd find yourself going back and watching it while you gag and jack off at the same time. it would've been wacky enough to even have him cancelled by a section of the fandom.

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

more pretty jason tehe

I think its so telling in regards to Katashiro’s personality that he’s much more upset about Higuro not giving Trix and Teven proper names but numbers instead— rather than the fact that he has to fight honest to god werewolves

Obviously he’s still annoyed with the whole monster fighting thing and the child experiments but he’s more upset that these two kids have no proper names

Kinda obsessed with headcanon, where Damian and Jason just randomly (out of nowhere, completely unprompted) start to referring to their shared past in the League in the middle of the family conversations, while everyone just stare at them in concern

Like

Jason, staring at Dick, trying to put Tim's shoulder back: huh, do you remember that one time-

Damian, instantly: when grandfather's shoulder relocated by itself, but instead of properly putting in on its place, he killed himself and mother threw him in the Lazarus Pit?

Jason, cackling: it was hilarious

Damian, no less amused: right?

Bruce, sitting behind them: (concerned sips of tea)

Or, it is not necessarily funny, but it just cute (or sad) details, regarding each other that others are confused about.

Jason, who accidentally fell asleep in the Batcave: (instinctively cards through his hair as he naps)

Tim, teasing: ladies and gentlemen, the criminal lord of the year--

Damian: Drake, bluntly, that's not funny. Back when he was out of the Pit, this was the only thing that could help him to calm down.

Dick, knowing that this is because Bruce constantly stroked Robin!Jason's hair, when he saw nightmares, with eyes full of tears: oh

Jason on the random Friday night, trying to be less awkward about staying with Bruce in one room: actually, Damian's first word was my name

Bruce: really?

Jason: he had, uh, problems with saying his first word. People around him were constantly speaking on both language at the same time, and, I guess, he couldn't figure out what to say. Then, Ra's said that if his heir doesn't get his word in the next two weeks, he will throw him in the Lazarus Pit (as a joke), but I wasn't sure if it was a joke (Talia said later it was), and I panicked, and since Talia wasn't around, I just kept repeating him her name, or just word Mother, but he just, uh, wouldn't say anything - kept blinking and staring at me like a little idiot. And then on a random night, he just grabbed me by the hair, and said, Jason. Food. And he kinda spoke properly since then. Like in full sentences and stuff. I think he just didn't want to speak with us, actually--

Bruce, getting grey hair out of nowhere: RA'S SAID WHAT--

And sometimes they just speak in Arabic, and Damian keeps bullying Jason that his skills are getting rustier.

Cale: Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?

Choi Han: I dont know, why?

Cale: To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

Choi Han: *snorts*

Goals bonding activities if you ask me

No thoughts, just him:

Holding aro/ace Cale Henituse and never letting him go because I can't be the only one who feels aggravated when I compliment someones appearance and everyone jokes about how I want to bang them.

I'm a firm believer he likes pretty faces not people.

___

KRS 18 y.o: she's pretty

Coworker: you like her? You need to ask her to go out!

KRS: no????

___

KRS 21 y.o: he's handsome, don't you think?

CJS: yeah, I don't know, he's not my type, you should try talk to him tho

KRS: ???why would I do that

Cale: I don't like these people *sacrifice himself for them* I don't care about this kingdom *saves it* I hate this drink *drinks it because his butler gave it to him* I'm a bad person *would die for people he didn't know*

Cale: I want a slacker life.

Cale: But to have a peaceful life, my family needs to have a peaceful life as well, and we need to live in a peaceful world too to not be bothered by anyone.

Cale: So let’s achieve world peace.

Cale: Then let’s do multiverse world peace because other worlds could also bother us and for an unknown reason I HAVE to be the one who does it instead of sending my subordinates and lazing around.

Cale: And while striving for world peace, something that nobody has been able to achieve so far, I’ll complain that I don’t want to work and say I’m weak.

Cale: Ah, I’m weak. *killing the strongest villain who tried to become god*

Cale: I want a slacker life. *trying to achieve world peace and working more than anyone else*

Cale: Sigh…

Reader: Sigh…