Things Non-comic Fans Get Wrong About Peter Parker.

how much 👁️👁️?

so was someone going to tell me there's a character limit in google docs or was i going to have to find out while writing fanfiction

life when you aren’t romantically attracted to people

one of the biggest lies the fandom with tell you is that alfred pennyworth is a good man.

he’s horrible. people just don’t realize he’s horrible because they’re all too focus on the superhero’s.

not many people in the fandom know this, but alfred literally has a daughter. her name is julia. why does no one know about julia? BECAUSE HE ABANDONED HER. it’s canon that he chose the wayne’s over his OWN CHILD. when she’s introduced in the comics she hates her dad because he abandoned her in england to raise a child that wasn’t even his.

the infamous jason “a good soldier” memorial? yeah, alfred did that. bruce wanted it taken down. alfred also left jason’s destroyed robin suit on display.

alfred is the reason tim is robin. dick and bruce are trapped by two-face and alfred just… gives tim a robin costume and sends him on his way. no formal training. no nothing.

every blame dick for damian becoming robin? wrong. it was alfred. dick was against it. alfred is the first one to give damian the robin costume, like he did to tim years before. dick did eventually choose damian as his robin, but that was while damian was ALREADY ROBIN. (he even tells tim that he doesn’t pick tim to be his robin because he considers tim to be an equal, not a sidekick, but i digress)

when bane breaks bruce’s back, alfred literally packs up and leaves. he travels. he just drops everything and goes to explore the world, until dick eventually hunts him back down.

it’s also a common theme that alfred couldn’t find the right balance between being a father figure and a butler, so he was constantly enabling bruce growing up (and still does) because technically bruce was his boss… even though he had custody of him.

edit: actually technically (in some runs) bruce’s uncle has custody of him but literally makes being absent an olympic sport But you get what i mean

Jewish Superheroes

Someone requested this a while back, so in the light of Hanukkah, here you go!

Spider-Man- In the comics, especially during the holiday specials, he would always wish people a “Happy Hanukkah”. Even some of the creators like to think he’s Jewish. Stan Lee even hinted that he was Jewish because he said he wanted to base Peter Parker on himself a lot, even mentioning his Jewish background. And, spoiler alert, Stan Lee grew up in a Jewish home! Some further proof is that the executive producer and director of Toby’s Spider-Man movies say that he is, Andrew Garfield and the writer of the amazing Spider-Man movies says that he is, and the Co-director og into the spider-verse says he is. Also, in into the spiderverse Peter B Parker crushes a glass at his wedding, so he is definitely Jewish too.

The flash- Barry Allen is Jewish, he even says it in the justice league. He describes himself as an “attractive Jewish boy” 

Superman- Clark Kent is Jewish. Superman is also loosely based off of Moses, you can see this by the way he was sent off his planet by his parents and you can see it throughout the comics and movies. His birth name is Kal-El, which in Hebrew means “the voice of god” which I thought was cool. Even if Superman is an alien, Clark Lent is definitely Jewish.

Moon knight- In the comics Marc grew up in a strict Jewish household, his father was a rabbi. Apparently it shows this somewhere in the series, but I never finished it so I wouldn’t know. 

Wanda and Pietro- in the comics, they are Jewish because their father is Magneto and he is Jewish. In the movies, it doesn’t clearly state that they are Jewish but it can be assumed that they are. This is because they were born near Romania and since we don’t have much information on their parents in the movies, we can assume that they are Jewish or of Jewish descent.

Magneto- he is only in the comics, but is rumored to appear soon. He is a mutant that controls magnetism. He was a holocaust surviver but doesn’t play much into his Jewish background after that. So we can assume that his human-version is Jewish. He focused more on protecting mutants though.

Harley Quinn- In the very first voicing of Harley Quinn, the voice actor made her have a strong New York accent, but said she added some “Yiddish sounds” to it. Maybe she isn’t in some of the modern versions, but she was at one point. And in the comics, Harley Quinn often returns to a Jewish and catholic family during the holidays, showing that she is half Jewish. 

The Thing- in the comics, he had a bar mitzvah and practices at the synagogue. Some people think that he was loosely based off the golem, which could make sense because the golem was sculpted of clay and is a protector while the Thing is rock and a protector.

Classic Photographs with Pokemon made by AdamDoesArt

Tony Stark and Peter Parker both mourned each other longer than they knew each other and that fact makes me so sick

Moon knight sketches

Spiderman : "You seem tired, Mister Moon Knight."

Moon Knight: " …Steven is keeping us from sleeping."

Daredevil : “Why ?”

Moon Knight : “He wants to play his video game.”

Deadpool : "Oh ! Little Stevie is playing video games?!"

Moon Knight : "Steven. And actually no, he asks Jake to play because he's not very good, but he watches and gives directions."

Daredevil : “What game ?”

Moon Knight : "Assassin's creed origins."

Spiderman : “The one in Egypt, right ?”

Moon Knight : "Yeah… I told him we could go to Egypt, but he wants to see ancient Egypt, with the pharaohs, while Jake shouts in Spanish because he has to be discreet to kill his targets, and Khonshu is screaming because it's not realistic at all."

Deadpool : "I see. Hard to sleep with all the noise."

Moon Knight : "…No, I could, but I want to see the endgame."

My favorite post-EPIC headcanon is that Odysseus' family is just completely accepting of all the unhinged sh*t that he's done.

Odysseus, over dinner, some 2 months after his return: And then I finned the sirens, letting them drown. We ate the tails later.

Telemachus, starry-eyed: OMG GUYS THAT'S MY DAD!! THAT IS!! MY DAD!! (points excitedly) ISN'T HE INCREDIBLE?

Odysseus: And later when he wouldn't stop being in my way I stabbed a god repeatedly with his own trident.

Penelope, heart-eyed: That's my husband. My love. Love of my life. You slay, my king.

The rest of the people at the table are 100% freaked out and probably terrified, btw.

snile