What In The Thirst Trap?!?!

Cuteness overload

Peter had braces.

Or, he used too when he was in his early teens (12-15s), the pictures are cute and awkward, curly haired peter parker smiling with a face full of braces, freckles here and there and a few acne.

Tony gets his hands on these pictures.

He frames them like a dad, he has one in the lab, one in the office and one in an extra room.

(Peter walks in to the lab and spots the photo, he goes red.)

Pepper has a photo too and in good motherly style, she’s done and gone framed it in her office so it’s the first thing people sees when they walk in.

(Peter goes : “Not you too!” when he walks in and sees it.)

When people ask.

The two say in unison.

“Oh that’s our son, he was so cute.”

Tony then proceeds to bombard said person with pictures of Peter all grown up now, he’s still in his teens, albeit entering the stage of adulthood.

Some photos are taken of Peter when he’s fallen asleep in the lab, others are him with the brightest grin ever.

Sure Peter is all grown up, his hair isn’t as Curly anymore and he’s not got as many freckles maybe he even has a few scars, he’s lanky and growing into his height, but Tony waves them off with the.

“He’s still my baby.”

As if he had birthed and raised Peter himself.

—

(Swooping in)

When the Avengers finally meet Peter, they assume he’s Tony’s biological son, with the stash of photos around and the way Tony can ramble for hours about Peter if you’ll let him.

Pepper is no better, she’s a mother bear.

So it’s the only logical conclusion right?

Then clint has to run his mouth and ask: “Hey, where are the baby photos?”

Tony tweaks. (Because he doesn’t have them.) He’s rushing to call may.

Avengers: huh, strange. anyway-

Natasha somehow gets her hands on peter’s baby photos because who else besides Natasha would figure out Peter isn’t actually Tony’s and is Spiderman? She would, she just wouldn’t tell the others.

Before Tony can get his hands on them.

May wasn’t that hard to convince either (A glass of wine, a few compliments and she was cooing about Peter before he grew up.)

Peter was a really chubby baby, turns out, (he thins out as he gets older) wearing captain america pajamas and somehow gotten into the flour.

The team watch in chaos as when Tony finds out Natasha has these

It becomes utter war.

They don’t know why the sudden two are leaping over couches chasing one another, or suddenly asking to ‘hand it over.’ But they can only presume it’s something super important and confidential.

It’s not.

(Watch Pepper jump in as well, telling Natasha she has every right to see these photos, Natasha relents to Pepper but not to Tony who’s still out the loop and growing more frustrated.)

Peter meanwhile is on the sideline’s mortified yelling at everybody.

May in the meantime has actually gotten use to Natasha’s company and started to like the assassin.

Tony: “This is my son, i’m very proud of my son.”

The avengers watching as Peter lifts a bridge about 5,000 lbs or 18,000.

-

Pepper: “This is my baby, i won’t let anyone ever hurt him.”

Avengers: Uhm???

As Peter climbs the scaffolding to a new skyscraper with his bare hands.

-

Natasha: “but if anything happened to him, i’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

Avengers: ???

Peter who, most definitely did not just stop Bucky’s metal, Vibranium arm with his own hand AND THEN PROCEED TO TWIST IT??

-

May: “Oh and this is peter when he was-“

Avengers finally understanding the ‘Peter charm’ after seeing the photos and having a moment with Peter. : “Ah”

Needless to say, Peter is still mortified, Tony is still fighting custody for those baby photos and Natasha is cackling at the chaos.

(May and pepper: “Girls night when?”)

So what happens to Tony’s lab in the end? When he finally gets his hands on May’s ‘Baby pete’ album, he copies, prints and frames each photo in that book in every room he has.

Peter avoids the tower for two weeks to come and MJ is just laughing at his misery.

-

(it’s sad that when Tony believes Peter is dead, he removes and boxes most of these photos except a particular one in his office.)

He doesn’t get to see Happy’s face upon seeing the photo and struggling to remember the curly haired boy who Tony loved so much.

Only placing Tony’s helmet over the photo because it gives him a headache and he can’t look at the kids face any longer.

Tony doesn’t get to see the boxes of photos decay and rot where he hid them, Peters face truly forgotten to the world.

Happy: “Hey when was this?”

Gesturing to the photo, Tony’s arm wrapped around Peter, who was smiling so brightly.

Pepper: “I’m, not sure..?”

Needless to say Happy keeps it only because it’s got Tony in it and Tony seems to be genuinely happy in the photo but he takes to covering one side of the photo at all times.

Not staring at it longer than he has too.

I've been gaming and thinking about my boy...

I love how Artemis flings him around in Outlaws

The way that Poseidon didn’t show any mercy to Odysseus when he begged, but then when he was the one at Ody’s mercy, he begged for mercy

And the way that the sirens wouldn’t have shown Odysseus and his crew any mercy, but they when they became the prey, they begged for mercy

So, it just seems like it’s okay to be ruthless until it’s you on the other end of the weapon, then you want mercy and even call the other the monster when you would’ve done the same to them

Steve: Spider-Man, status?

Peter: Your honour, we're cooked

Steve: ?

Clint: He means he and I got shot

Steve: Oh

Steve: OH—

Saw ppl on Twitter joining into the delulu of shipping Peter Parker and Jason Todd HELL YEAAAHH I've been shipping them for years but I was to shy to post my fics and drawings, god bless hazzy_may on Twitter 🙏🙏

The real reason Elvis was driven to drugs

Please make this happen. Upcoming: A Spideypool movie?

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