Someone Should Write A Fic Of This (⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' shook their head]

[they're actually pretty separated ( ‘-ωก̀ )]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[I AM BACK! ✧⁺⸜(●˙▾˙●)⸝⁺✧]

[AND! I made something! ˶╹ꇴ╹˶ ]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 'tomato scrambled egg dish']

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' spent some probability to create a scenario]

[a new scenario has arrived!]

❲Category - sub

Difficulty - F

Description - take a bite of 'tomato scrambled egg dish'

Reward - 10000000 coins, a Yoo Joonghyuk in chinese dress and garter belt plush

Failure - you'll make Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' cry❳

[try a bite pretty please? I tried so hard and spent so long making it just the way my mama makes it ( ≖⃙⃚᷄ ⍘ ≖⃙⃚᷅ )]

[you don't even need to take a bite of the tomato! you can just take a bite if the scrambled egg! Pretty please? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚]

(He stared with complete wariness, grimacing as he stared down at the dish.)

.. There aren't any tomatoes inside the egg, are there..?

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' wants to know what your favorite creature is!]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is looking at you with sparkling eyes]

*arrives with a box of tiny cakes*

...?

Are these poisoned?

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' seemed to have noticed as they made quite a contented face as they continued the cuddling]

This is the scene their incarnation later walks in on by then both had already fallen asleep they sighed before taking a picture of the scene a ghost of a smile on their lips

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is looking at you with sparkling eyes]

[oh my god plushie dokja Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' had picked you up and started cuddling with you]

[so soft so cute (⑉• •⑉)♡]

(The squid is waving his little tentacles.)

I'm not cute-

(Squid Plushie: 9!)

I'm dying help-

I’ve come to make an announcement: Luka’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his twink-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Luka, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Urak?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

Someone should make a fanfic about this I would eat it tf up

Beacrox:*creates a spicy dish at Cales request(because Cale missed eating spicy things T^T)*

Cale:*tries it*hmmmm…. It’s good, but it could use some more spice.

Beacrox:*utter confusion* …yes young master-nim. *thinking that Cale might be insane because this is the spiciest dish he’s ever been in the presence of*

Beacrox:*adds more spice anyways because he’s so confused*

Cale: still needs more spice.

Beacrox:*worried confusion intensifies*

Beacrox:*adds more spice*

Cale: perfect.

Beacrox:*more worried confusion*

Later- *Beacrox enlists Eruhabens help to summon the whole Cale-nim protection squad*

Cale:*is summoned to his fathers office to find perhaps every person he’s ever met standing there with Choi Han looking perhaps as confused as he is*

Deruth: Son… are you feeling alright?

Cale:…yes…? What is this for..?

Beacrox:*puts the spicy dish on the desk*

Alberu: Dongsaeng, this is an intervention.

Deruth: we think something might be wrong with your taste buds.

Cale: huh? It’s not even that spicy? Try it if you don’t believe me?

Everyone in the room: *tries it and immediately starts dying(-Choi Han)*

Deruth: Dear God! That could kill a small cat!

Ohn: as a small cat, I can confirm, eating any more of that would kill me.

Cale: Oh come on! It isn’t that spicy!

Everyone:*confusion*

Choi Han:…

Choi Han:… it isn’t that bad…

Everyone:*appalled*

Alberu: You two are fucking anomalies. This is not something a human, or any race for that matter, can consume without horrible difficulty.

Cale:*walks over to the dish*

Cale:*eats the rest of it to not let it go to waste because it really does have the perfect amount of spice*

Everyone:*in utter terror as Cale shows zero reaction*

Alberu: I am terrified of you.

I really need a fic of this

Aaand number 1 is a sorta crack au post?

Au: Everyone’s a Regressor!

- Just what the title says. Everyone (except the villains ofc) is a regressor. Including Cale. Who just happens to be a regressor, transmigrator, and reincarnator. Basically the same plot of Cale lived his first life in tboah and then reincarnated as krs before regressing and transmigrating into his original body after dying as krs. Plot twist though, most everyone else is also a regressor and he has no idea. He has memories of his first and second lives. Including the novel he read before he died, and doesn’t know why everyone is acting so different from what he knows!

- Why is his family being so nice and talking to him?! Why is Ron giving him so much lemonade?! Why does that Punk Choi Han act like he knows him already?! He and Ron and Beacrox know each other?! When did they meet this early?! Who are all these people in his house?!

- Okay? So his father is reinforcing the walls and they are making a navy in the Ubarr territory??? This is great. The heroes and his family are preparing for the war and he doesn’t even have to lift a finger!

- He does still carry out his plans though. Getting the ancient powers, saving Raon and coincidentally finding On and Hong, and helping Taylor and Cage. Speaking of which, Taylor stops his search for the vitality of the heart and just relaxes in Puzzle city with Cage for a bit before they meet Cale. Of course, the god of death still tells Cage abt the benefactor, who was not present in their past life. Cage is shocked to hear from the one who abandoned them in the last life, but still listens to him for Taylor’s sake.

- Deruth doesn’t want to send either of his sons this time, but he is shocked when Cale offers to go. Despite both his parents and Basen trying to deter him, he convinces them to let him go. They agree, only because Choi Han and the Molan duo will accompany him. Deruth doesn’t like the idea sending the person who beat his son to protect him. Much less the ones who betrayed his son to go off and play hero with the offender; but he knows how strong they are. If anyone can keep Cale safe, it’s them.

- Choi Han doesn’t hate Cale, but he doesn’t really like him either. He’s come to respect the younger during the time they spent as allies during the war, but the Cale right now hasn’t faced his future tragedy yet. He’s still young and immature, and acts like trash….right..? Wait- not right?! What is with this kid? Why does he act so different from before?! By all means, he should still be trash, soo why is he acting completely different from their past life? And why does he know things he shouldn’t know at this point in time? Or any point in time for that matter?

- He doesn’t seem to remember their life before, so why is he acting so strange?

- Cale is just trying to make it seem like he doesn’t know half these people so he won’t look suspicious, but why is everyone acting like they know him? He knows he’s never met the crown prince in this life, so what’s with that melancholy look?

- Meanwhile, Choi Han is just trying to find a way to find Rosalyn and Lock without seeming too suspicious. Luckily, Cale sent him away first.

- The vow of death never happens.

- “ I can’t tell you everything, but I can share two truths.” “Oh, there’s no need Cale-nim. I trust you.”

‘Wha..? How can you trust me? We’ve only known each other for a few weeks.’ “Don’t you want information on that secret organization?”

“It’s alright, Cale-nim. I’m sure we’ll run into them again soon.”

‘This punk…Does he know something?’ “Choi Han, do you know something about them?”

‘That’s not possible. Choi Han should have only encountered them once by this point.’

“No. I. Don’t. Know. What. You. Are. Talking. About.” ….

‘Was Choi Han always such a bad liar..?’

- Cale doesn’t get the annual rings right away. Why? Idk, consistency with Tcf plot?

- Everyone knows that everyone has regressed except Cale. Bc it’s funnier that way.

- So we got all his family members tiptoeing around him, trying to see if he remembers but also trying not to jog his memory if he doesn’t. They know the last life hurt him and they don’t want him to have to carry the burden of their deaths. (He does. And he’s not gonna make the same mistake twice).

- The Radish is still a hassle to deal with. Obviously they didn’t see all his powers from the last life as they were completely overwhelmed by the enemies, but with Cale’s help and their experience from the past, they are much stronger and more prepared. By the time the Indomitable alliance comes to the Henituse territory, there are even more secret weapons coming out of the woodworks. Seriously, the enemies are so confused. So is Cale. So is everyone else. Clopeh never stood a chance. It’s like the pointing Spiderman meme. And the enemies are a bonfire in the middle; being reduced to ashes while everyone else is being stunned by each other’s collective strength.

- The only enemy they have a bit of trouble with is the White Star. Not because he’s too strong, no, he’s already no match for Choi Han, Rosalyn, and Lock fighting against him altogether, but with the aid of Eruhaben, they now know that he’s a reincarnator. They have no idea how to kill him for good.

- So basically, they keep encountering him and injuring him further while trying not to actually kill him. Of course, that’s not to say that the rest of the WS allies are a joke, rather, they are just slightly challenging as literally everyone in the two continents speed runs getting stronger to prepare to combat his forces.

- To make it even more fun, none of the enemies retain their memories. Also, the citizens are random on who has memories of their past. Some do, some don’t. It creates chaos.

- Adventurer Bob remembers his past life where he died on his first adventure. He doesn’t know how he came back to the past, but he’s determined to use his knowledge of the future to his advantage! (What knowledge? Bro literally died on his first expedition).

- A middle aged baker in Rain City vows to live his life to the fullest this time! He’s going to build a Wyvern bunker! He’s going to save up funds! And he’s going to make up with his daughter who ran away to become a sword master! He’ll support her all the way this time. They may not be enough, but even if she doesn’t reach that level, who is he to stunt her only chance at survival in the upcoming war?

- Rookie Knight Jeffron has had quite a strange day. He woke up only to hear three of his comrades spouting nonsense about wars and fire and wyverns..? Just what is a wyvern? Must have been quite the nightmare. Psssh! As if! The Henituse territory would never fall to enemy soldiers! And attacking from the sky? Yeah right! What’s next? The Sun god accepts the darkness attribute? Hah! Jokes these days…

- Really, half the city seems to have had too much to drink. Or too little…? What has happened to Young Master Cale?! Some citizens could have sworn he had still been trash in the past. So what has happened to make their young master change so much? He doesn’t seem like he remembers? He doesn’t…right?

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

I wonder what's the white star's reaction to this?

Rok Soo's ability isn't Instant AU

Instead of being able to, very briefly and painfully, fuck with time; he got an ability based on all the absolute bullshit that's happened to him.

From the childhood, to his friends dying in front of him. All the shitty rumors that sprouted up, all the shit luck, all of it. Just, all of it.

So instead of Instant, he got Lament.

Lament is a scream capable of leveling buildings, at the cost of absolutely shredding Rok Soo's throat.

As a result of that power, Rok Soo doesn't talk often, and when he does his voice is hoarse and pained. He also refuses to speak at full volume, because while he's got a handle on his power, he's paranoid that he'll slip up.

So when he transfers over to the body of Cale, people notice.

The Young Master went to bed his usual talkative self, but when he woke up?

Barely a word, and when he did speak, a whisper.

Cale barely speaks a word to Ron beyond the single syllable required. Barely bothers to acknowledge Deruth. Relies on hand-speak and notes to talk to merchants.

Deruth is going crazy trying to figure out what the hell happened to his son, Ron is very close behind him because what the hell got past him? He's Ron Fucking Molan.

Then Cale comes home with a bedraggled punk that smells like the trash the killed Ron's family, and Ron has to listen in astonishment as he says more to this jackass than he's said to Ron in a week.

Basically; Cale's power of Lament is so strong and painful that everything Cale is paranoid of letting it slip, that he's selectively mute. This causes many misunderstandings, in true Cale fashion.

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' pats you on the head]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' finds you pitiable]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks that even if Constellation 'Lord Of Eternal Rest'(god of death) himself tells Incarnation 'Kim Dokja' not to die he'd still find a way somehow]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' greets you]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks you are like a big puppy]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' finds you cute]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 100 coins]

Oh! Hello!

(As he reads your message, a blush crawls up his neck. He scratches the back of his head.)

Aha, it's not funny to joke like that, Constellation Random Dyslexic Reader. I'd say those kinds of compliments should go to Jung Heewon-ssi, haha.

Thank you for the coins, though!

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is curious]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' asks if demon's body parts could be useful?]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is curious about other immortals from different worlds]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is curious about you]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' asks if you are a god as well?]

As well? Who else do you claim to be a god?

No one calls me a god, including myself, but if they were to worship me, I doubt I'd be a benevolent diety