voidranboo

Latest Posts by voidranboo

Ugh it’s one of those nights where I wanna read a doctor who fan fiction and I had one in mind, but now I can’t find it and either the author deleted it or I never added it to my library but I’ve been on such a man hunt for it and still no luck which sucks because I can still recall details from that book and I wanna read it so bad.

Secrets • Conrad fisher

Warnings: none

Summary: y/n and Conrad kept there relationship quite for the sake of others feelings but when people find out it all blows up

The seconds she stepped foot on that beach she was swept off her feet but none other than Steven Conklin. She was yet to have seen any of her usual summer gang having arrived later than normal but god was she glad to see them.

“Put me down idiot!” Y/n giggled as Steven span her around with the stupidest smile on his face. Steven and y/n we’re inseparable from the minute they met. There birthdays were a day apart so when they were kids they convinced everyone they were secretly twins separated at birth and they could of been. There personality mirrored each other’s perfectly almost as if they were the same person. If you asked Y/n’s mother and Laurel the pair shared the same brain or In Jeremiah’s worlds ‘they share the same three brain cells’

“You’re late!” He said as he put her down y/n rolled her eyes at his tone as she regained her balance preparing herself from when the others notice she’s there And just as she thought Jeremiah and belly came running at her with Conrad following behind

“You’re here!” Belly yelled as she and Jeremiah engulfed y/n in a hug

“I’ve missed you guys!” Y/n said it wasn’t like she hadn’t seen them that long ago. Y/n made an effort as much as she could to visit everyone throughout the year.

“We’ve missed you more!” Jeremiah told her as he and belly finally gave y/n some room to breathe. Conrad was yet to say anything but he didn’t have to. The smile on his face said it all.

Conrad had somehow managed to steal her away from the group dragging her to a spot he knew was hidden away. Their Spot. He lent against the beach hut and Without saying a word he grabbed her face kissing her passionately she was smiling into the kiss. All she ever did was Smile when he was around

“Well hello to you too.” She giggled as he pulled away whipping her now smudged lipgloss away with the pad of his thumb

“I would say I missed you but you already knew that.” He said before leaning in to kiss her once more only for her to pull away insisting they needed to get back to the others before they start getting suspicious “Not yet, I want you too myself.” He said pulling her into his arms

“Will you stay over tonight? I’ve missed having you sleeping next to me.” He said brushing the hair that had fallen in her face behind her ears. Y/n bit her lip considering it. “Don’t worry I’ll make sure no one sees you come in.”

“Fine.”

And just as he said later that night when he knew the cost was clear y/n came in through the back door and into the kitchen where Conrad was waiting for her “hey there pretty boy.” She said before he shushed her “okay okay.” The pair snuck up the stairs being careful to make as little sound as possible until they were safe in his room.

There were little words spoken between the two but there didn’t need to be. They both knew exactly what the other was thinking before they even said anything. They laid face to face hands intertwined almost asleep when Conrad looked up at her with a smile “Y/n,” he pauses then says “you’re my best friend.” Y/n didn’t need to reply she just nodded and it said everything he needed to know.

Conrad had spent most of the morning just watching y/n sleep comfortably in his arms until his door flew open and a loud Gasp leaving the mouth of none other than Jeremiah “get out!” Conrad said praying to god Jeremiah would keep his mouth shut about what he’d just seen. But this is Jeremiah we’re talking about.

“Y/n.” He whispered softly trying to wake her as gently as possible he felt her stir slightly only to let out a soft groan and nuzzle into him more “Doll, somethings happened.” He whispered she hummed a yes looking up at him through half open eyelids

“Jere just walked in and saw us.” Y/n’s heart sank into her chest. The whole reason they kept there relationship a secret was to protect Belly’s feelings y/n told him that. She said she couldn’t hurt Belly like that.

Shit.

Y/n scrambled out of bed throwing her change of clothes she brought with her and ran downstairs as fast as she could “Belly.” She said looking at her everyone was confused to why she was there. Well everyone but Belly and Jeremiah. Belly shook her head before storming outside y/n stood unsure on what to do when Conrad suddenly appeared behind her

“You could keep your mouth shut just for once!” He spat at Jeremiah but y/n shook her head

“No, this isn’t Jeres fault. It’s ours.” She ran outside after Belly

“Belly Please.” She said running to catch up with her

“You knew how much I liked him!” Belly said and she was right. Belly had confide in y/n many times about her feelings for Conrad which is why y/n felt so awful

“I know Belly and you have every right to be mad at me… I told him I didn’t want to hurt you.” Y/n said Belly had finally stopped in her tracks just staring blankly at y/n

“Why him y/n, why not Jeremiah? The one boy I’ve liked my whole life why did you have to do that to me? I thought we were friends.” Belly shook her head she wanted to cry and scream but she kept herself composed

“We are friends Belly, I can’t help that I fell for him you of all people would understand how I could.” Y/n said it felt like the wrong thing to say but she didn’t know what else to say

“A real friend would have never done that to me.” Belly stormed off leaving y/n stood on the beach tears now rolling down herself she was hurt but her words but more than anything, angry at herself for hurting Belly. Y/n wrapped her arms around here crying softly when she felt a pair of arms around her she didn’t need to look up to know it was Steven. She just knew.

“God I’m such an idiot.” Y/n said after she’d managed to stop crying Steven had sat her down and promised her listen no matter what

“That’s not true… You can’t help who you fall in love with y/n and Belly will get over it. She’s stronger than she lets on.” He told her but y/n could help but feel awful

“I just didn’t want to hurt her.” He gave her a knowing look as someone else sat beside them

“I’ll give you a minute.” Steven gave y/n a soft smile before heading back inside

“I feel awful.” Y/n said looking up at conrad Who just put his arm around her “I never wanted it to go down like this.” Y/n hated the fact that things had happened this way. Why didn’t they just tell the truth.

“Maybe we should stop this.”

“What? No!” Conrad said sitting up straight “I love belly don’t get me wrong and i didn’t want it hurt her either but I’m not letting that ruin what we have! You don’t get to break up with me just because of a little crush belly has.” He rambled he was starting to panic he wasn’t gonna let this be the end

“Connie-“

“No y/n you don’t get to break up with me because of someone else’s feelings. The only feelings that matter here is mine and your and I know damn well I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you and I know you feel the same without you having to say a word!” Conrad was now stood in front of her almost as if he was ready to scream his undying love for y/n from the roof tops.

Y/n stood up grabbing his face and kissing him passionately letting him sweep her off her feet as her legs wrapped around his waist “we’re not breaking up!”

“We’re not.”

“We were always calling ourselves the ‘Scooby Doo’ gang, like we were Daphne and Velma and Shaggy and Fred.” — Maya Hawke

STRANGER THINGS 4 + Scooby Doo

EDDIE MUNSON

and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

VoidRanboo Masterlist 

Alex Summers Imagines Series

(Will be updating as I post the new ones!)

Brutal

1 Step Forwards 3 Steps Back

Enough For You

Good 4 You

Traitor

Drivers License

Jealousy, Jealousy

Favorite Crime

Happier

Deja Vu

Hope Your Okay

Good 4 You|| Alex Summers 

Hello my loves! I am so sorry that it took so long to get this part out! School has been kicking my ass but I hope you enjoy it! Also if you haven't I would read Brutal, 1 Step Forward 3 Steps Back, and Enough For You, but without further ado here is part 4 to my Alex Summers Imagines series! <3

-VoidRanboo

..................

After I packed my bag and placed it in my car I went to tell Charles that I was leaving but Alex and Juilet were in there with him. 

Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

“Hello Hadleigh! Feeling better?’’ Charles asked as I walked into his office. 

“Yeah, that drive did help me a lot, so much in fact that I realized I can’t stay here anymore. I’ve already packed a bag and put it in my car. I was just coming back to tell you, Raven, and Erik.’’ I said, giving him a smile. 

“Well you always have a home here.’’ He said giving me a hug. 

“Thank you and I will always remember that, but it doesn’t exactly feel like home now.’’ I said, glancing at Alex and Juilet. 

You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks

“I know the feeling.’’ He said, giving my hand a squeeze. 

“Well I am going to find Raven and Erik. Thank you for everything.’’ 

I walked out of his office, but I could hear another pair of footsteps. 

“Hadleigh will you just slow down.’’ I heard Alex say. 

You're doing great out there without me, baby

“I have nothing to say to you and you now hold no power over me. Nothing you say is going to make me stay.’’ I said, not even turning around. 

He quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me into an empty classroom. I tried to leave, but he stood in front of the door. 

“What happened to you?’’ He asked. 

“Heartbreak. That’s what happened to me.’’ I snapped. 

“Hadleigh, stop being like this.’’ He huffed out. 

“Like what? All I did was realize that I need to stop feeling sorry for myself because it was getting me nowhere.’’ I said, rolling my eyes. 

“This isn’t the Hadleigh I know.’’ He replied. 

Well good for you, I guess you're getting everything you want

“That Hadleigh is long gone. She was gone the second you said you fell in love with someone else.’’ I harshly said. I then used my powers to push him out of the way and then made my way outside of the mansion where surprise, surprise Juilet was. 

“Look Hadleigh I know what happened between you and Alex, but you need to back off. Look I love him and you are stunning and could take him back if you really wanted to and I can’t go through that heartbreak.’’ She said. 

“Oh Honey? You think I care? You can have my sloppy seconds, I couldn’t care less.” I said with a sigh before pushing her out the way and going to my car. I didn’t bother looking back. I simply floored it and I was off. 

Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

Love you Hun, i’m happy i could give you ideas!! ❤️❤️

WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN DEMONS | KAZ BREKKER

Fandom: Shadow and Bone

Summary: Y/N is Pekka Rollins's estranged daughter, and finds help from a surprising party to get rid of her father. @misssociopath

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Y/N Rollins (female), Pekka Rollins, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, also Wylan Van Eck even though I haven't read the actual books yet.

A/N: Seriously, I was so excited about this request and later, because of things, I thought I wouldn't be able to write this after all but I did it!! This request was amazing and gonna be honest, this fricking deserves to be a whole ass series... and I just might to make one inspired by this request but meanwhile, have a mini version. I hope you like it!

Warnings: mentions of death, murder, violence, toxic parent relationship, mentions of trauma, a bit of angst and stuff, what would you expect after reading the summary :D

Word count: 4.2k :)))

Your feet tingled from the cold as you splashed through the many puddles of the Barrel’s narrow streets. You walked so quickly that you almost ran, not wanting to give yourself time to think. You had to do something to stop your father from terrorizing Ketterdam.

In any other scenario, a pretty girl like you hurrying through the streets of the Barrel like that would make an instant sitting duck out of her. But you weren’t just any pretty girl.

You were Y/N Rollins. And despite not being in good terms with the monster you had the displeasure to call your father, nobody would dare to even whistle after you in fear of him. If someone tried, their friends would be quick to shut the poor bastard down. Not that you complained.

Those dimly lit streets of Ketterdam were a sight you had been familiar with ever since you were a little girl. At first, your father had had the intentions to raise you to be the next leader of the Dime Lions, but no matter how much he had tried to brainwash you into believing that violence and cruelty is the only way to thrive, you had decided otherwise. You saw the people where he saw kruge. You saw souls, innocent souls who fell to Pekka’s ploys. One of the cases that had been carved in your mind, you remembered the two boys, the older brother being so sure that Pekka would make him rich and his little brother just blindly following along. They were just kids. Naive and innocent, your father wrapped them into his web so easily. Children would be his favorite target, because they were so easily manipulated, but he didn't encounter any other wealthy children after those two.

You remembered how had to play a servant girl, distraction to the younger brother, and you had to call your father “Mr. Hertzoon”. Your father had claimed that it’s a game and that they’re just playing along. But soon your father had fooled all their money and left them to the streets. You didn’t understand exactly what had happened then, but after hearing they had died from the Plague, it was a waking up call. Because of those two brothers, you realized what kind of man your father really was.

At twelve, you had started to warn his newest targets, help them escape your father’s grip. Most didn’t believe you, but you got some out. It took him several years to realize why some of his targets were fleeing, but when he realized it’s you, he had beaten you up and disowned you, left you to the streets as he had left so many before you. Pekka never spoke about you again, but as the people of the Barrel knew who you were, you had never once been harassed or robbed. People were too scared of your father. He hadn’t advertised your betrayal as it would have affected his reputation negatively, but you saw how his grip on Ketterdam was tightening in a quick pace and you realized you had to do something.

You had heard about Kaz Brekker, who had a war going on with your father. You didn’t know what Pekka had done, why this Brekker despised him so much and your father was just as oblivious about that. He sometimes wondered about it aloud, sure different gangs were always competing with each other, trying to get the most territory, but this Kaz Brekker looked at Pekka with so much anger and despise that it wasn’t just a regular intimidation technique between gangs. It was like he actually held some personal grudge against your father, but your father said he had never even heard about anyone called Kaz Brekker before him.

But Kaz Brekker was your best bet against your father. You wouldn’t be able to take him down on your own, so now you were on your way to the Crow Club, silently praying to the Saints that they would believe you and not shoot you on sight.

A bulky doorman and his slightly thinner, but still muscular partner blocked your way to the Crow Club. You were soaked in rain, shivering from cold and your body begged you to get somewhere inside, but you had decided to get to the Crow Club, even with force if needed.

You knew it was a stupidly lucky shot, but you just marched up to them and told them about your business - you wanted to speak with Kaz Brekker.

"And why would Y/N Rollins want to speak to a man who is planning to kill her father?" the man scoffed, clearly thinking it was just a trick. You glared at him.

"I'm here to make a deal, I'm not here to answer to you." you answered and the doorman huffed, crossing his arms before leaning towards his partner.

"Get the boss."

You shifted on your feet, suddenly nervous. You had no idea what your father had done to Kaz Brekker to make him hate him so much, but he was your best bet. You knew it was something bad, because you had seen him kill a child in front of their mother to punish her for betraying him and even worse stuff which you'd rather forget. You wanted him gone almost just as much as Kaz Brekker did, you couldn't let a monster like him to have control over the city.

You heard a cane thumping against the floorboard, nearing the door, and you straightened up quickly. The second doorman peeked through the door carefully before stepping to the side, and Kaz Brekker came to view, eyeing you up and down as he placed his cane in front of him, clutching it with both hands.

"What is your business here?" he asked, and you swallowed. Suddenly it was so much harder to speak to him, suddenly you were fearing that you wouldn't feel believable enough, you had never said it aloud that you wanted your father dead. But you had to say it, or they would turn you away.

"I want Pekka Rollins dead." you stated as loudly and clearly as you could, and Kaz cocked his eyebrow.

"And you assume I would just believe you when you say you want your father dead?"

You cast your eyes to the ground. "I can't do it alone. And you're the only one with skills and motivation to do it."

Brekker looked at you, probably seeking out for hints that you were lying. But apparently he didn’t find any, so he nodded at his doormen and turned around, silently signaling you to follow him.

The Club went deadly silent the moment you stepped inside. Everyone knew who you were, and you noticed some peering at the door. If your father would step inside with the Dime Lions, it could trigger a shooting scene. But it was just you, in your soaked clothes and wet hair, still shivering slightly. If you were anyone else, someone might offer you their jacket for warmth, but being a Rollins meant that people were afraid of you too. They were just assuming that you were just like your father, if not even crazier, incredibly ruthless and purely vile and evil, that you would have grown up to be his top torturer who keeps her victims alive for weeks before killing them. Referred to as “Blood Princess”. Their assumptions were that you would be like that, more or less, that Kaz Brekker would be a cute little puppy licking their face compared to you. Nobody ever knew that you were nothing like your father, not even anything like Brekker was, but that was understandable. You had never told those people you had rescued from Pekka who you were, just in case. You didn’t want a reputation as a savior, you much preferred to stay in the shadows.

Before long, your body started thanking you for getting inside, and now you were on your way to discuss about the fate of your father. Thoughts were circling in your head all the way to his office. Would Kaz Brekker believe you? What if he would try and use you as a bait, or if he thought it’s a trick and imprisoned you, or killed you? You had seen how he looked at your father before too, there was definitely something personal involved.

Soon you were in his office, and Brekker locked the door behind you, turning his back on your for just a moment, but you knew he was watching you with his senses, he would know if you tried to attack him from behind. You felt the tension in the air. He turned again, walking to his desk and sitting down, gesturing to the chair and glancing at you, before he browsed through some of his papers and pushing them aside. You sat down slowly, as if to fear that the chair would kill you when you sat down. The tension was so thick that you were sure that Brekker was considering to kill you right now.

And to be honest, Kaz kind of wanted to kill you. Seeing you, knowing you existed because of a man who killed Jordie and him… the thought alone made him want to throw you against the wall and bash your head in with his cane. But the only reason he had decided to take you in and talk with you, was because he saw sincerity in your eyes and heard a glint of despise in your voice when you told him that you wanted Pekka dead, the same kind of despise what he felt, even if it was much weaker. And with your help, he might finally have a way to strike the man from his nightmares down for good.

And you didn’t even look like your father, fortunately. You looked more like your mother. Kaz could look at you without seeing that man throwing him and Jordie out, getting flashbacks of Jordie getting sick, seeing his dead body, feeling water, feeling rotten flesh under his hands. He didn’t feel any of it, he felt like he was looking at any young woman sitting in front of him who wanted to strike a deal. A deal to take Pekka down. He just had to push the thought of you actually being Pekka’s daughter out of his mind.

You cleared your throat awkwardly and Kaz realized he had been staring. He fixed his composure on that instant, and narrowed his eyes at you before he spoke.

“You want me to help you to take Pekka Rollins down.” he repeated your request from earlier. You nodded. Kaz could see that you were strained, he could see you hadn’t ever even dipped your hands in blood like this. You were nervous, but not in a way that would have made Kaz think it’s a trap. You seemed to be afraid of saying it aloud, that you wanted someone dead. You were quite different from all those horror stories people had told about you, that you’d be a “Blood Princess” who Pekka uses with extreme cases of torture. But as you sat there, Kaz noticed that those stories were far from the truth.

It seemed like you wanted Pekka dead for the safety of other people, not because of your own anger and despise you held for him. Anywhere else, it would be a twisted way of kindness, but it felt like an act of a Saint here at the Barrel. You could be the Blood Princess everyone spoke about, you could as well stab Pekka on the throat while laughing like a maniac but instead, you had come to him to seek for help. You didn’t have guts to do it yourself, much less skills and stealth, but you were innocent, your hands hadn’t been stained by blood yet. You felt so many deaths pressing on you, but you had never purposefully helped Pekka to fool anyone. All your childhood, it had been a game. Just a fun game where you got to play a servant girl. And after realizing what had been happening, you had started to try and warn people of Pekka.

“Why should I trust you?” Kaz questioned and you took in a breath. You had practiced this conversation over and over on your way here, knowing that the question would come in some form. But now you felt like you had forgotten everything you had wanted to say.

“Pekka is a bad man. Even here at the Barrel. He’s… he has fooled money from the poor, even from the children.” you swallowed, a picture of those two brothers flew past your mind again. “I realized what was happening when I was almost ten years old. Pekka threw two children out after fooling their money from them. I remember them, two brothers, I had to pretend to be a servant girl, I played with the younger brother who was around my age and could have befriended him…” your voice caught in your throat, and Kaz frowned. “I saw them almost every day while at town, begging for food. Pekka never let me go to them and say hi. Then they just disappeared, and I heard later that they had died from The Queen’s Plague. I don’t even know what their names are, just nameless children dying and for what? It’s on my father, he killed those two boys. That’s what woke me up all those years ago.”

Kaz’s mind flashed with a picture of a servant girl playing puzzles with him. She didn’t talk much, but she seemed to enjoy his company. They haven’t even introduced themselves to each other, but they didn’t need names to come along. His frown deepened, but he chose not to say anything. It was better if you thought that he was dead. And he was dead in his own way.

Kaz wanted to believe you. And he did believe you. But he wasn’t sure if he would just be able to push the thought of you being Pekka’s daughter aside, he didn’t like to have a Rollins in his ranks. Even when he saw that you were being sincere and you really wanted your father dead. There had to be some heavy reasons for that to happen, more than just him and Jordie.

“I have to think about it.” Kaz finally decided and cast his eyes to his papers. You nodded, knowing to expect that he wouldn’t just take your help just like that. You kind of wanted to ask him why he hated Pekka so much, maybe you could even bond over his reasons, but you decided to keep your mouth shut. You couldn’t risk poking the beehive now when you had walked past it almost undisturbed. But you saw it in his eyes when you talked about Pekka, it was something painful for him. Something he had buried away and tried to prevent it from shining through, but you knew people well enough to see it clear as day. You stood up from the table, prepared to leave and wait to hear his decision.

“I’m staying at-”

“You’ll be staying at the Slat until I make my decision. Under our supervision.” Kaz interrupted you.

Ah. You sighed and nodded your head. “Of course. Will someone accompany me when I go and cancel my reservation? I’m- I was staying at Smoking Falcon.”

Kaz took in a deep breath and made his way to the door, and you followed him. He stopped by one of the Dregs. You felt a churn in your stomach, he was just a boy, and your father would have made a boy of that age kill someone already, but this boy didn’t have that tormented, dark look on their face. You could see that he hadn’t killed anyone, one reason more why Kaz was better than Pekka. Every moment you felt more and more like you made a right choice by taking the risk. Now you could just hope it would carry itself over and Kaz would agree to trust you even that little bit.

“Go to the Smoking Falcon and tell them that Y/N Rollins’s reservation is cancelled.” Kaz’s voice snapped you out from your thoughts, and the boy took the parchment Kaz handed to him and then he glanced at you with a swallow. You tried to reply with a kind smile which only seemed to terrify him. The boy ran off, and Kaz let out a huff.

“He thinks you’re the Blood Princess. Smiling makes them think that you’re ready to rip throats out, I wouldn’t bother.” he told you. You nodded and sat down on the barstool.

“I knew to expect that.” you answered and looked around the club. “I hope that with time, I’ll be able to prove to everyone that I’m not my father.”

There was a brief silence between you two, but you were glad to see that people at the club had stopped staring and had continued with their conversations and gambling tables.

“I hope you know I’m not a good man either.” Kaz suddenly said, and you turned to look at him.

“I know. There are no people who are entirely pure in the Barrel. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive.” you answered, and your gaze wandered around the club once more before you turned it to your lap.

“Boss-” you heard someone say and looked up again, seeing a Zemeni man stopping in his tracks to stare at you, lifting his arm up and causing a red-headed man collide with him.

“What?” Kaz asked, and the Zemeni blinked.

“...I just heard that Y/N Rollins is seen around here, but I see she’s with you.” he muttered and looked at you like you had just grown a tentacle on your forehead. Then he moved closer to his boss and muttered, “Kaz, what are you doing? She’s Pekka’s daughter.”

You kind of wanted to express how you can hear him, but you kept quiet.

“I’m not stupid. I’m fully aware of that.” Kaz told him back, not keeping his voice down and the guy looked at Kaz like he’s crazy. His gaze jumped between you and Kaz, before he backed down and left the scene with the other young man. Kaz rolled his eyes, and the errand boy came back, telling Kaz that your reservation had been cancelled.

“I’ll escort you to the Slat.” Kaz then told you and you silently followed him out from the Club.

---

The room was small and it didn’t have windows and the oil lamp was broken, but you didn’t expect anything grand and cool. A place to sleep in was more than enough, and the bed was comfortable too, at least more comfortable than in Smoking Falcon. You were confident your back would never forgive you for these past months you had to sleep on that “bed”.

Kaz had told you that he expects you not leaving your room before morning, and that you had everything you needed to survive until the morning. And that was true, you had a small bathroom and tap water. You were slightly hungry, but that would have been too much to ask at least for now. You had quickly familiarized yourself of the layout of the room so you wouldn’t stumble in the middle of the night, and now you were comfortably under the covers, and let yourself to fall into dreamless sleep.

---

The next morning, Kaz had informed you that he accepts your proposition and you started planning out how you would take Pekka down. It was a little bit awkward at first, you being his greatest enemy’s daughter. You sensed it from him, the despise, the hate. But as months went on, it faded. Sometimes you even joked during sitting together at his office. And as months went by, the “Blood Princess” faded away. People started to like you. Especially Jesper, Inej and Nina spent a lot of time with you. Jesper had protected his boyfriend Wylan from you a lot at first, apparently thinking you would hurt him, but soon he couldn’t help but befriend you too. Matthias was the toughest nut to crack, but Nina assured you that he’s just stubborn. You felt like you had a family there.

You were the only one who could talk back to Kaz if he said something hurtful. He listened to all his Crows’s opinions, but he listened to you differently. You didn’t notice it, but Nina started saying that Kaz likes you and implied that you’d like him too. You snorted the thought away. But all the other Crows seemed to agree and that made you think.

Were you really falling for Dirtyhands?

Another two months passed, and the Crow Club had gone silent earlier that day since Nina had announced that she’s holding a big waffle party, and that left just you and Kaz sitting by yourselves. You two were conveniently the only ones not invited, and judging by Nina’s smirk, she had done it by purpose. That sneaky little hopeless romantic.

So now you were at the bar with drinks in hand, just sitting in silence. And you didn’t know why you wanted to ask it, but you did. Your level of trust had reached a level that you dared to ask it.

“Kaz, I have wanted to ask this since the beginning. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” you bit your lip, and Kaz turned his gaze to you, silently asking you to continue. “What is it between you and Pekka?”

Kaz stiffened up, and for a moment there you thought he doesn’t want to answer. You muttered a “I’m sorry” and a long silence ensued between you two.

“We have met before. You and I.” Kaz finally sighed, and your head snapped at him.

“What?”

“You mentioned that you remember two brothers who Pekka took as his victims. That they were your wakeup call.” Kaz began, and you nodded slowly. Kaz took a deep breath in. “I was the younger brother.”

Your eyes widened, and you were silent for a while. Then you uttered out, “But… I thought that you and your brother died.”

Kaz stared into the nothingness, not saying anything for a few seconds. “We did.” he then muttered.

You frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I died and rose from the ashes. Jordie… was left for the sea.” Kaz sighed again. “And your father is responsible for his death. And one day I wish to have revenge on Pekka, for Jordie. But I’m not sure if anything will ever make it right. If anything is bad enough for what he did to me. I’m not sure if I can ever get away from my demons.”

Your heart raced. You had thought of those two boys for years, somehow they had just struck into your mind. Usually Pekka attacked the overly confident, grown men. Sometimes foolish couples in love who dreamed of moving away from Kerch and buying a nice mansion in Ravka. But along with Jordie and Kaz, not children. Not defenseless, naive children who barely had skills to survive in the world on their own. You had thought that even he wouldn’t have guts to do that, and yet he did and used you as his little helper. You had learned that if they had money, Pekka would attack anyone, even children.

You saw the pain in Kaz’s eyes even when he tried to hide it. You had seen it from the start, but now he had opened up and the pain was even more prominent. You wanted to hold his hand, to tell him that you’re proud of him and that Jordie would be happy that he survived, even if he didn’t think so. He saw himself as a monster now. Kaz Rietveld would have been terrified of him. But you saw he was still redeemable. You had to do bad things to survive in the Barrel, especially if you ran a crime organization, but he was capable of love. You wanted to hold his hand and tell him that, you wanted to make him feel how much he meant to you already.

“You’ll get to avenge Jordie. I promise.” you said, your voice breaking slightly. Kaz’s eyes softened at the crack of your voice just for a second. “And Kaz… we all have our own demons.” you told him, and he gazed deep into your eyes before nodding slightly and turned back to his drink.

And that’s when you knew it - you had fallen in love with him. You knew he probably wouldn’t feel the same way, at least not being ready for such feelings, but the other Crows saw it immediately. He was in love with you too, even if he hadn’t admitted it to himself yet.

And one day, you’d get back to Pekka. Together.

---

There's a series LOOSELY based on this idea coming (NOT THIS STORY, the only thing in common with them is that Y/N is Pekka's daughter), I hope you'll be around for it too when I'll start posting it! 🤩

I know this kinda felt like I hurried the ending but I didn’t really know what else to put in there tbh. Feedback is always appreciated and any comments make me 100x happier than “just” likes or follows!! If you want to be anon, you can also send in an ask ^^

Also speaking of reblogs: reblogs and feedback/comments are more important than just likes, just another reminder :) Tumblr has been built on sharing and its algorithm doesn't work properly from likes. Especially if you're on my taglist, I would appreciate if you commented on or reblogged my works even once in a while, a lot of you just leave likes but nothing else.

Tags: @musicallisto @take-me-to-ny @mindofasupernova @lxncelot @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @someoneovertherainboww @vintagebitc @fandomstuffff @montsepliego @number-0-iz @just-a-new-start @kaqua @booksreplacedmysoul @readingslumpfanfic @dancingwith-sunflowers @shadowhuntyi @rika90 @imma-too-many-fandoms @the-abyss-gazed-back @thereagles @kiwijulia @beatitlikeabongodrum @louweasleymalfoy @aliiiyyaaah @malfoys-demigod @aleksanderwh0r3 @gallysonegoodlung @maybe-potato @dustyjjumpwings @whatiswrongwithpeople @thegirlwiththeimpala @periwinklemax @lazyotakujen @bookfrog242 @mrs-brekker15 @notplutos @brekkersbane @subjecta13-thefangirl @datrie @hinagiku0 @brekker-zenik @ilovemarvelanne1 @statsvitenskap // if you want to be on my taglist, comment "tag me" on this post or send me an ask where you ask to be added for Shadow and Bone + any other fandoms you want. If your name is crossed out, your blog is hidden and I can't tag it here. I can try to remember to tag you in the replies but would help a lot if you turned the setting off from your settings. (Desktop settings -> choose your blog -> turn "Hide [yoururl].tumblr.com" + "Hide [yoururl] from search results" off)

Enough For You || Alex Summers  

Welcome my loves to part 3 of my 11 part Alex Summer imagines series! If you haven't read parts 1 and 2 I will link them here but if for some reason the link isn't working they will be linked on my pinned post on my account!

I hope you enjoy xx

-VoidRanboo

.....................................

It had been a week since Alex and I had broken up and it went around the entire mansion and no one liked being in a room with Alex and I. I had stopped drinking after Charles talked to me about how bad I had gotten. I knew that it was getting bad, but without it I was a mess. I tried to look okay in front of everyone else, but even that was getting hard. 

Today I knew that I had to help Alex teach a class since our powers worked well with each other. I had gotten out of bed and decided to actually look good for once. I put on my favorite pair of black skinny jeans and my favorite band shirt. I decided to not put on makeup though.

I wore make-up when we dated 'Cause I thought you'd like me more

I never really wore these kind of things when Alex and I dated, sure I knew he wouldn’t care, but I always tried to be someone I’m not and maybe that’s where everything went wrong. Before I knew it I had started crying and I just couldn’t stop. 

Tried so hard to be everything that you like

After I had cried for a few more minutes I made my way to the bunker where we were teaching students with powers like Alex and I have. When I made it down there I saw that I had gotten there before Alex or the kids so I walked into the bunker and was just messing around with my powers until I heard a female laugh and she didn’t sound like a kid so I walked out of the bunker to see Alex and someone I had never met. I guess this is the new girl. 

You found someone more exciting

“Oh hey Y/N.’’ Alex said, trying to give me a small smile. 

“Hey.’’ I said, trying to smile as well. 

“Hi, I’m Juliet.’’ She said, giving me a sickly sweet smile. 

I knew that she knew who I was and I could play that game too. I would rather cry when people aren’t there. 

“Hi.’’ I gave her a sarcastic smile back.

“Juliet has powers too that are a good mix of both of ours so I thought she could help us teach this class.” Alex explained. 

“Well, if she has powers like mine why don’t I just leave you too it.’’ I somewhat snapped. I can’t believe he thought this was a good idea. I guess he really wanted to replace me in all ways. 

And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong

I made it out of the bunker and walked right to Charles' office where I got a shocked and surprised look.

“He thought it would best if his girlfriend helped us teach the class and I wasn’t going to stick around for that.’’ I said before he could say something. 

“It’s okay Y/N, you have the day off.’’ He said, giving me a smile. 

“Thank you.’’ I said before walking out of his office. 

'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough

I made it back to my room and grabbed my jacket and the keys to my car before I left the mansion. I didn’t exactly want to stay there right now and I thought it would be best to go on a drive and get all of the negative thoughts out of my mind. 

But don't tell me you're sorry, boy feel sorry for yourself

After driving around for a few hours I realized that it’s not my fault that Alex couldn’t see how much I loved him. I wasn’t going to sabotage his relationship, but I wasn’t going to stick around to watch it. I pulled back into the mansion and walked right to my room and started packing my bags. 

No, nothing's enough for you

1 Step Forward and 3 Steps Back || Alex Summers

Hello my loves! As promised here is part 2 to the 11 part imagine series I am doing for Alex Summers. If you haven't read part 1 yet I will link it on this post so you can pop over and read it and without further-ado let's get into this

I hope you enjoy xx

-VoidRanboo

..................................

The next morning wasn’t that much better, I woke up, walked to the kitchen to get another drink, and then walked back to my room. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone today. I need to wallow in this heartbreak right now. I didn’t hear someone knock on my door, I only felt the presence of someone else and that’s when I turned around to see Alex standing there. I could see the hurt in his eyes and I scoffed at that, but before I could tell him to leave the alcohol started speaking for me. 

“Why did you hurt me like this?’’ I slurred out. 

“Y/N….” Alex said slowly. 

“No, I want to know.’’ I asked, looking him in the eyes for the first time since we had our breakup….just the thought of it left a sour taste in my mouth. 

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

“I never wanted to hurt you like this, but I couldn’t keep doing this to myself either.’’ Alex said. 

Never doubted myself so much

“You were going to hurt me no matter what and I just want the pain to stop.’’ I said as my eyes started watering. 

I hate that I gave you power over that kind of stuff

“I can’t take the pain away...I still want to be your friend and be in your life though.’’ He said. 

“It’s always going to be one step forward and three steps back with you though. You want that, but I don’t want that. It will destroy me to see you love someone who isn’t me.’’ I sobbed. 

Do you love me, want me, hate me, boy? I don't understand

“I..I don’t know what you want me to say.’’ He said looking down.

“I don’t know what I want you to say either. I wanted you to be in my life. What happened to all the times you said you wanted to marry me. I Ignored everyone who said this wouldn’t work, but I guess I should’ve listened to them.’’ I replied.

“I don’t know what I can do to help you.’’ He said walking closer to me, but I held my hand up to stop him. 

“I don’t want your help and I think it would be best if you would just leave.’’ I said turning away from him. I couldn’t look into his eyes any longer. 

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

Once I heard the door closed I took the glass that was in my hand and threw it against the wall in sadness or anger, I wasn’t sure. 

It's back and forth, going over everything I said

I kept on going over everything and wondering what I could’ve done to change what happened. Did I love him too much? Did I not love him enough? Was I clingy? Was I too distant? What did I do wrong? 

It's one step forward and three steps back

Brutal || Alex Summers 

Hi before we start I wanted to let anyone who reads this know that this is going to be a 11 part imagine series. I took the songs off of Olivia Rodrigo's SOUR album, I put them in my own order and I wrote Alex Summers Imagines that all correlate with each other and each imagine is based off a song. The next one should be posted tomorrow xx

I hope you enjoy xx

-VoidRanboo

.................

“Hey Alex.’’ I said smiling while I walked into our shared room. 

I had just gotten back from training with Charles. While I had a handle on my powers I tried to always make sure to train to strengthen them. I went to our closet and took a change of clothes since the ones I was wearing were covered in sweat. 

“Y/N we need to talk.’’ Alex said sitting down on the bed 

“About what?” I asked after I got changed, I sat down with him. 

“Us.’’ He stated. I was starting to get nervous. Alex was never like this around me. 

I want it to be like messy

“What about us?’’ I shakingly asked. 

“I don’t feel that spark anymore….I think I am in love with someone else.’’ Alex said slowly. 

I didn’t know what to say. My entire world has just fallen in front of my eyes. I tried my hardest to keep calm and to not cry but my emotions got the best of me. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?’’ I choked out. 

“I gave this relationship my everything Alex. We have been together for almost three years and you want to call it quits because you think you love someone else.’’ I exclaimed.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I really am, but-” Alex started but I cut him off. 

“No, don’t say your sorry.’’ I snapped getting up and making my way to the door. 

“Where are you going?’’ He asked. 

“I don’t know and I don’t care. I just can’t be here right now.” I said without even turning around and before he could say anything else I walked out. 

I had made it all the way outside and I didn’t know where my feet would take me, but I needed to clear my head. I gave Alex everything, I told him I loved when I didn’t even fully know what the word really meant, we moved into our own room because HE wanted to be closer to me. He said he loved me and that he wanted to marry me one day, but I guess that was all a lie. I know I was young and I was still getting the grasp of everything. I at least thought I had the grasp of love and what it meant, but if this is what love is supposed to feel like I don’t want to ever experience it ever again. I ignored the age gap, I ignored the people that said to be careful, I ignored everything because I believed myself to be that in love with Alex.

I’m so sick of 17, where’s my fucking teenage dream

I came upon an open field and I made my way to it and I sat down and just let out everything. I screamed until I couldn’t anymore, I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore, my powers were going haywire, but I didn’t care. My throat was raw and my face was red and puffy. I looked like a mess and anyone who was just looking at me would think that someone may have died, but it was just me going through my first heartbreak. 

All I did was try my best. This the kinda thanks I get?

It was dark by the time I got back to the mansion and as soon as I walked through the door I was pulled into a hug by Raven. I didn’t have any reaction. I felt numb. 

“Y/N, where have you been?’’ She rushed out. 

“I had to clear my head.’’ I replied. 

“What happened?’’ She asked as we were walking our way to Charles' office. 

“I don’t even know.’’ I gloomily replied. 

Once we made it to Charles office and walked in I saw Alex, Hank, Charles, and Erik. 

‘’Y/N, are you okay? You just left without saying anything.’’ Hank asked. 

“Yeah, like I told Raven, I had to clear my head.” I replied. 

“Is everything okay?’’ Charles asked. 

“I don’t know.’’ I snapped. 

“You need to talk to us.’’ Erik said. 

“I don’t feel like talking and I won’t tell you what’s going on because what’s going on with Alex, and it is our business even if I wish I was dreaming. Just leave me alone.” I exclaimed before walking out. I caught the way they all turned to Alex for an explanation, but I didn’t stay long enough to hear what he would say. 

I wish I could disappear

I just needed to be numb. I made it to Alex and I’s room and I quickly gathered the things I would need and proceeded to go to my old room that thankfully hadn’t been taken by anyone. I closed and locked the door and fell onto my bed. 

I waited until everyone went to bed and then I walked to the kitchen to get a drink. I didn’t want to feel anything and I knew that drinking could help me with that. I don’t remember how many drinks I had in me, but I couldn’t see straight anymore and I clumsily made my way back to my old room. 

I quickly fell asleep thanks to the alcohol taking effect. I didn’t sleep well that night even with the drinks in my system. I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare. 

God, it's brutal out here

----------------------------------------

I know I don't really have a tag list but I still want to tag the two most wonderful people ever who gave me the strength to start posting what I write <3

@swanimagines @harrysweasleys

Finding each other in every universe

Happy Birthday hun! i know it’s kinda late coming from me but i love you so much and i hope that you had an amazing birthday! your writing and your kindness are truly unmatched and i’m so glad that one day i decided to read Kaz Brekker imagines because it brought me you!! 🖤🖤

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!

Today on 7th of May, I have been breathing on Earth for 27 years!

Ok I'll admit, I made and scheduled this post over a month prior and just have tagged more people as I remember them or have gotten new moots...

I'll be doing a birthday video mashup thing for today too as it was so fun to do last year 💞 I don't really expect gifts this year though because the new Tumblr post editor system is infuriating, but I love getting birthday wishes anyway and it's nice to babble and answer to those on camera and show you what was my reaction on your wish. (You can ask stuff too if you want me to answer them on video)

Sometimes I'd want to see my friends' reaction on their wishes/gifts from me tbh 😄

Some friends and moots who have been keeping me afloat with their messages, awesome feedback and writing (and yes I'm forgetting some people, I'm sure of it):

@supervalcsi @carolinesbookworld @cactiem @imaginesbymk @druiigg @emcon-imagines @randomfandomimagine @moonlit-imagines @murswrites @retvenkos @writseo @fanficsfromyesteryear @fangirlings-things @musicallisto @thereagles @myheartrevealed @brekkers-desigirl @sheimagineddragons @sophies-crow-club @danaewrites @dancingwith-sunflowers @benedictbridgertonss @scandalous-chaos @mirclealignr @interv4ls @x-whyareyoureadingthis-x (almost tagged your other blog but you apparently didn't see my last tag either so) @locke-writes @sunny-reys @asherhunterx @raven-is-a-writer @captainshazamerica @ellora-brekker @phantomofhogwarts @imabirrrb @writerdream22 @ajokeformur-ray @mysoftboybensolo @thedelusionreaderbitch @jae-the-menace @fanficsfromyesteryear @misssociopath @the-mechanical-angel @bey0nd-1he-stars @trfanglophile @jexnrey @animalistic0

Also some moots I haven't really interacted with (because I'm too shy to break the ice 😬) but whose writing I know I'll adore once a fic interesting to me comes across (and whose older writing I'm planning to check out properly too) and who I also know to be awesome people from seeing them interacting with other people on my dash:

@mystic-writings @desireav @thatfangirl42 @ladyvesuvia @the-and-sign-anon

Hi the only thing I care about today is Susan Sarandon's twitter

Happy two year Blog-Iversary!!! i love you so much hun!!!!

🌙✨ ITS MY TWO YEAR BLOG-IVERSARY. ✨🌙

thank you to all of my incredible readers for all of the support and love you have sent me and my work 💛

thank you to the amazing, incredible friends i have made along the way — you guys are truly some of the best people i have ever met and that’ll really never change. love love love you guys with my whole heart 🥰

i don’t think i’ll be doing an event but if ever anyone has any ideas and you want me to do so, just let me know! ✨

tagging some mutuals just to say i love them and that you guys are part of the reason my tumblr experience has been good 💛💛💛

@ickle-ronniekins @haley-h0tchner @theweasleysredhair @diary-of-an-onliner @casually-simping @darthwheezely @lumosandnoxwriting @andromedaa-tonks @gryffindors-weasley @misssociopath @mirclealignr @spidermaens @full-time-make-believer @lordoftherazzles @blueberryrock @rcwena and i’m sure there are many, many more but i haven’t had my coffee yet and am a scatter brain

in other news i’m gonna be posting some Nate Hardy imagines soon because he doesn’t get enough hype.

You know you can voice your opinions on books without being an asshat about it! i’m currently in the comment section of a Wattpad book trying to teach someone this because their opinion of this one book was such a rude comment.

Would anyone care if I wrote for Benedict, he's literally the loml-

he had promised padme that her children woud be safe, and he had made it so.

My Heart, My Future

Prompts: ‘Hands clasped as you dance’ + ‘Ring slipping onto finger’ and “How long have you had this planned?" "Since the moment I fell in love with you." Requested By: Two different Anon's; combined requests.

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x GN!Reader

Warnings: None! Just a lot of fluff and romance (a couple kisses too)!

Words: 1.4k

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @caswinchester2000, @imaginesfire Bridgerton Taglist: @magravenwrites, @fandomfoodiedancer, @girl-next-door-writes, @savagejane1

*I can't remember if engagement rings are a thing during this time/in the show, but just go with it.

-

No matter how many times you attended a ball, you were always astounded at the amount of jewels, flowers and flowing gowns that surrounded you. The music was light and effortlessly flowed throughout the large home. People chatted and danced, girls glanced flirtatiously at the single men, hoping they would ask them to dance.

Your own eyes sought out a familiar head of dark hair in the crowd. As you spotted it, you smiled to yourself, but it faded quickly as you saw the concern and stressed look on the pairing face.

But as his eyes moved through the crowd, before landing on you, you felt a small wave of relief when his troubled face quickly turned into a gleaming smile as he spotted you.

Saying a quick goodbye to his brother Anthony, who had been beside him, he made his way to you. Meeting him halfway, you smiled brightly at him as you met. He gave you a quiet hello as he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.

You slid your arm through his as you moved further into the room. "Is everything okay Ben? You seemed to be having a rather troubling conversation with Anthony."

Benedict gave you a quick look, in which you saw subtle surprise. He quickly hid it with a smile and a shake of the head. "Nothing you need to worry about my love, I assure you." You squinted at him a bit and he let out a soft laugh and pulled you toward him a little. "I promise."

You smiled lightly. "Alright, I'll believe you, for now."

During your first dance of the ball, you had already forgotten what had happened. You and Benedict shared fond and loving smiles as your hands were clasped tightly together, dancing around the ball-room. You talked about the ridiculous hats some of the mothers were wearing, the usual tricks younger girls used to gain the attentions of suitors, and laughed at your own private jokes.

After your first dance, the rest of the night went as per usual. You and Benedict danced multiple times, and you spent time talking with Daphne and Eloise. But continuously throughout the night, you could not stop troubling yourself with the apparent change in demeanor Benedict had.

All night, he glanced nervously around him, the shared looks he had between his brothers seemed to hold secrets you could not understand. You knew something was happening, but what you did not know, was why Benedict would not tell you. You told each other everything, you had since before you ever started courting.

Flinching slightly when a hand settled on your back, you let out a soft relief sigh when you met Benedict's eyes. He laid out his hand and smiled at you. "One more dance?"

You smiled and nodded as you took his hand, following him into the adjacent room. As the dance began, you decided to ask him one more time if everything was alright.

As you met in the middle of the dance, you quickly spoke, though quietly so no one nearby would hear. "Are you sure everything is alright Ben?"

Ben watched you with a look of indecision as you separated, watching each other as you danced around the others. When you met again, he whispered to you. "Am I really that obvious?"

You smiled softly and met his eyes. "Only to me."

He smiled in return, and you stepped back from each other again. Your eyes kept catching each other as you moved through the dance. You spared each changing partner a smile, but you waited impatiently for when you and Benedict would meet again.

When you did, the song was coming to an end, and Benedict whispered in your ear. "Take a walk with me in the garden?"

You nodded softly, and when the dance ended, you slowly left the house together. You began to stroll the well lit garden together, a few couples and groups nearby.

"So?" You finally asked when you were a distance away from anyone.

"So." He breathed out, and you could tell there was something important coming.

Stopping abruptly, he turned, looking around. He made sure no one was watching before he quickly grabbed your hand and dragged you down a nearby path.

A few turns later, you were deeper within the garden, it was not as well lit, and the sound of the ball was faint. "Dear God Ben, what is it?" You asked almost panicked.

Before you could say more, Benedict pulled you towards him, into an abrupt and deep kiss. For a moment, you got lost in the moment, forgetting where you were, and why you had separated yourself from the crowd.

When he pulled away a few moments later, you were both breathless. He stared into your eyes, and you saw his thoughts turning. "Benedict, what's going on?" You asked softly.

You saw his lip turn up slightly as he stared deeply into your eyes. "I love you." He said softly.

He saw confusion cover your face as you shook your head. "I know that Ben. You're worrying me, what's happening, talk to me."

He let out a soft laugh as he gently placed his hand on the side of your face. "I'm sorry for worrying you, I have no intention of doing so. I promise nothing bad is happening."

"What about the nervous looks, and the hushed conversations with your brothers?"

"That was all about this." He said as he motioned to around you.

You looked around the darkened garden, before meeting his eyes again and letting out a soft laugh. "What?"

"Wanting to get you alone." He took a step back, as he pulled something out of his pocket. Your heart began to race as you began to realize what was happening. Seeing him pull a ring from his pocket, your breath hitched in your throat as you met his eyes again.

"The nervous looks and hushed conversations were me trying to figure out when the best time to get you alone was." He raised his hand, and you saw the ring fully.

You let out a shaky breath as you met his eyes. "Ben. How long have you had this planned?"

He smiled softly "Since the moment I fell in love with you." He continued, his voice clearly nervous. "I've loved you for years. Even before I finally found the courage to ask if I could court you. In all honestly, I knew I wanted to marry you since we were children." You both chuckled softly. "When I learned that you had felt the same for just as long, I felt as though I wasted so much time. But I don't want to wait anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want to wait for moments alone when I can truly show how I feel about you. I want everyone to know, to see how truly happy we are. You hold my heart, you are my heart, my future. Will you marry me?"

You hadn't noticed the tears that filled your eyes as he spoke, or the utter joy that filled your heart as it beat heavily in your chest. You could barely find your voice as you nodded your head. "Yes, of course I will marry you Benedict. Nothing could stop me."

A grin spread across his face as he grabbed your hand. You watched as he slid the ring onto your finger. Lifting your hand up, he pressed a kiss to your hand.

Quickly, you threw your arms around his neck, and his arms wrapped around your waist as you embraced. "I love you Ben." You said softly into his ear.

Pulling away, he brought his hands to your face, as he wiped away a stray tear. "I love you more." You met in a deep and passionate kiss as you held each other, embracing the pure moments of happiness that wrapped around you.

You weren't sure how long passed before you finally made your way back towards the ball, hands intertwined. Your ring was no longer on your hand, but tucked away safely. You did not wish your moment of bliss to be interrupted with congratulations and wedding plans just yet.

That would be saved for the next day, when you could announce it to your families respectively, but just for now, it would be a secret happiness kept between you. Well, as well as between Anthony and Colin, who, upon seeing your entrance back into the ball, and the looks of hidden joy on your faces, knew Benedict had succeeded.

xx End xx

Portrait-Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

(GIF credit to @gifshistorical​)

Masterlist

Requested by @peoniarose: I was wondering if I could request a Benedict x Reader that is angsty and fluffy.

Characters: Benedict Bridgerton x Reader, Daphne Bridgerton x Reader (sister-in-law)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Angst, arguing, mentions of cheating, lots of fluff

                                        *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Y/N) wandered around her new home, still trying to remember the layout and small details within the huge house. It was so different from the home she grew up in. She had been living there for only a week but it still wasn’t settling into her mind. She felt like a stranger, she felt like she was intruding. (Y/N) and Benedict had been married for the same amount of time, they didn’t have a long courting relationship either, there was still so much she had to learn about her husband.

He was a lovely, charming and kind man. (Y/N) could not deny that she liked him, and she did find him attractive, but as soon as her parents saw that she had been conversing with a Bridgerton they immediately sped up the process. (Y/N) also came from a rich family, and Anthony was determined to seal the deal (he saw that his brother could be happy with this woman, he would never have forced him into a marriage). But now that the exciting courtship was over, the rush of emotions was dying down. (Y/N) thought she would feel entirely different to this.

Perhaps it was because they lived with the rest of the Bridgerton’s, meaning it was very hard to find any private time. The only time they had together was in their own bedroom, but even that was an awkward affair. They slept as far apart as they could, not wanting to make the other feel uncomfortable.

However, (Y/N) recently noticed Benedict straying even further from her. She would wake up without him beside her, and sometimes even go to bed alone. He would lock himself up in his study, doing who knows what, slipping in and out, looking suspicious. She had tried to catch him out, but he was too quick for her. Although she didn’t know her husband well, she could spot a liar. Did he really not want to be around her? He would rather lock himself up in a room than speak with her?

“Daphne," (Y/N) broke the silence they had been sitting in as they continued their embroidery,"I don’t suppose you know what your brother has been up to recently?”

“I have many brothers, you might have to be a little more specific.” she joked.

(Y/N) smiled.“You’re quite right. I meant the one I’m married to.”

Daphne set down her work.“You know, I do seem to recall he has been rather reclusive. I can’t remember the last time I greeted him at breakfast.”

“Exactly. I’m worried.”

She looked at her sister-in-law, as if waiting for her to keep speaking.“There’s something else isn’t there? I can tell, your eyes hold a sadness behind them.”

“I do not want to burden your thoughts Daphne.”

“You’re my family now (Y/N),” she held her hand,“you can tell me anything.

(Y/N) wasn’t sure if it was entirely proper to involve her husband’s sister in their personal affairs. It was about their love after all, and she was scared that if she spoke the truth, Daphne may think ill of her; because what if she was overreacting? What if she was seeing something that wasn’t there?

"Please (Y/N), I am concerned for you.” Daphne urged her.

“When I have seen Benedict, I notice that he talks with the maids. And I’ve seen this many times. Then he locks himself away in his study all day. I used to stay awake waiting for him to come to bed, but now I just fall asleep because I know he’ll only leave again in the morning without a word to me. I fear that he detests me. I’m not asking for him to be undeniably in love with me, but I would like for us to at least get along.”

“(Y/N), my brother adores you. I’ve seen how he gazes upon you when you’re not looking. You turn him bashful, so much so that he can’t form a single sentence. I’m sure whatever he’s doing is for good reason.”

“But he’s acting so skittish. One time I saw him talking to a maid they seemed so deep in conversation, and when he saw me he immediately stopped speaking with her and scurried away, as did the maid.”

“That is rather odd behaviour for Benedict.”

“I want to ask him about all of this nonsense but I never have a chance.”

“Have you been to him in his study?”

“No. I’m afraid I will disturb him. What if he gets angry?”

“My brother would never be angry with you. Especially if you were there to express your true feelings.”

(Y/N) had a sudden confidence in her after she spoke with Daphne. She was in her right to confront her husband. She was being made to feel like an outcast here, Benedict was supposed to be their for her and help her ease into this new household and life. Instead he had cowered away. Her head was held high as she walked down the corridors with purpose. This would all stop now. The young woman was going to march up to her husbands study, waltz in and demand he explain himself.

It went differently than she had expected.

She came to a halt in front of the doors, arm raised to knock though she never made contact with the wood. Why was she so nervous? It was just Benedict, he was an absolute sweetheart. She assumed part of her didn’t want to enter in case her fears were true. However, standing there forever wasn’t going to solve anything, and she forced herself to knock firmly on the door.

Benedict huffed at the interruption. He was desperately trying to finish his work, it was taking him far too long to complete. Calling for the person to enter, he panicked when his wife walked in, instantly scrambling to put away what he had been working on. He clumsily stood, bumping back into his chair.

“(Y/N),” he stuttered,“what can I do for you?”

(Y/N) had a slight frown on her face, his nervous composure making her all the more suspicious.“I wanted to talk. I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

He hesitated before quickly shaking his head.“No, no you’re fine darling.”

She hadn’t heard that term in a while. (Y/N) walked further into the room, a sudden air of tension filling the space.

“Benedict, I don’t want to argue." 

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.“Well, neither do I. What would we argue about in the first place?”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Yes you have! I never see you when we wake, it seems that you’re up before any of the staff! And throughout the day, you go out of your way to not cross paths with me, all the while I see you flirting with the young maids, whispering to them in your charming manner. You know I’ve caught you, because you run away each time. I cannot believe the amount of disrespect you have for me Benedict! And I never see you when it is time to retire for the evening. You leave me all alone in this new house to sleep by myself, it’s as if I’m not even here!”

Both her and Benedict were surprised by her outburst. She hadn’t raised her voice but her tone was snappy. It was clear to see that she was frustrated and upset. Benedict felt a wash of shame and regret come over him, however, he was also angry, and shocked that she would think of him being unfaithful to her.

“I’ve been away from you because I am trying to complete a piece of artwork, and it is taking an infuriatingly long time to complete.” he quipped back.

“I understand your art is important to you, and you know I support you fully in that. But that’s not an excuse to ignore your wife and run around with other women.”

“I have done no such thing!” this time he raised his voice.

In his frustration, he forcefully turned around his easel with had a canvas resting on it. The wooden legs slammed against the floor as he stared at his wife. (Y/N)’s mouth dropped open when she saw what he had been sketching. It was her.

“I have only been able to finish your face.” Benedict was calmer now.“It’s the only thing I knew from memory because I stare at your beauty every day.”

(Y/N) couldn’t believe it. He was going to paint her.

“It was supposed to be a late wedding present. However, I realised we really don’t know everything about each other. And that’s why I’ve been speaking with the maids, because I thought they might know more about you than I, or at least observed you more. I was trying to find out what your favourite dress was, favourite flowers, anything I could add to this soon to be painting so you could understand how devoted I am to you.”

“Benedict…” (Y/N)’s words trailer off. She was in awe at his gesture.

“I’m sorry that I made you feel like I was ignoring you. I just wanted to get this right. And…and you must know that I deeply care for you. Those early mornings and late nights were to ensure I could get this finsihed on time, though obviously that never happened. But every time I woke up or just before I slept, I always kissed your cheek, secretly knowing that it was the only affection I had given you that day.”

“I feel terrible for thinking you would do something like that Benedict.”

“No, you had every right to think like that. When you explained yourself it was easy to see it from that perspective.”

(Y/N) clasped her hands together as she approached the canvas, standing beside Benedict.“Will you…will you finish it?”

She looked up at him, seeing he was already looking at her.“I will certainly do my best to capture your radiance.”

“Do you think I could sit for you? That way we could spend time together. And as you mentioned, we really must know each other better.”

He smiled.“I would like that.”

“Me too. You’re a very caring man Benedict.”

“Only for you my love.”

— AND YOU MASTER, WHAT DOES YOUR HEART TELL YOU YOU’RE MEANT FOR? — INFINITE SADNESS

Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi Star Wars: Episode 1- The Phantom Menace (1999)

“My mother told me I can get addicted to meth, cocaine, vodka, whiskey, and cigarettes. She told me those things can get trapped within my veins, and flush me down a hole. I’ve never gotten addicted to the deadly things my mother told me about. But I got addicted to a human with a destructive soul, and I swear I wish I got addicted to the things my mother told me not to because they don’t have a soul to run away from me.”

— Alexa Evangelista (via vodkakilledtheteen)

I’m just saying that if y’all need good Kaz imagines how follow my lovely friend xx

CRIMSON AND BLACK | KAZ BREKKER

FREDDY EVENT, send in requests for any of Freddy Carter's characters (NOT the man himself (= no Freddy Carter (the real person) x readers), only his characters)!! The event will be on for an indefinite time, if you're unsure, see if the event post is pinned. If it is, then it's still on. (Other requests are open too, but they go to my normal to-do list which I'm not able to start doing anytime soon)

Summary: Y/N has suffered a lot since her childhood, making her to be someone children were scared to see in Ketterdam. Then she meets someone who she can finally relate to, and that feeling wants to grow into something more. requested by anon

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Characters: Y/N (female), Kaz Brekker, mentions about the Crows + mentions about Jordie, Pekka Rollins and reader's parents.

Warnings: trauma, mentions of violence, death, blood, descriptions of torture, I also used some exact dialogue from the book at one part because of a Marvelous Plot Twist™. Also they are in their 20's at the end of the fic because of the show.

Word count: 1.6k

Ever since you were born, your parents had been gathering money to move away from Ketterdam. Move somewhere safer to raise you. Your mother had become pregnant accidentally, they weren't meaning to have kids - not in that age, they were barely 19 when they had you. But they kept you, falling in love with you the moment they saw you. You were poor, but a happy family anyway.

Finally, when you were nine years old, your parents found a solution. A kind merchant had offered to help you move to Ravka, have land, enough food for the rest of your lives and the most important of all, you'd be safe from all those filthy criminals that tormented Ketterdam. You'd get a happy childhood, the one your parents had always dreamed of you to have.

Hope had gotten the best of them, and the man turned out to be a very skillful conman, and soon you found yourselves at the street, penniless and hungry. The greed of Ketterdam had swallowed your happiness and later, after the Plague taking them, you had swore for revenge against the man who had tricked you.

Robbert van Delden, the name would sit as tight in your head that it could as well be tattooed in your brain for as long as it needed. Until you'd get him killed by your own gun - no, blade. You wanted to make him suffer for as long as possible. You wanted his life to end in agony, his blood coating the walls as you'd beat him and slash him, hearing his screams, begs of mercy, finally him begging you to just kill him. But you wouldn't, you'd torture him until he wouldn't have the strength to scream anymore, and then leave him there to bleed out, or to die from thirst or hunger. You would have gotten your revenge.

And then maybe you wouldn't feel so empty inside anymore. Maybe you could even move on after that. It was the only thing that kept you going anymore. To take down that monster called Robbert van Delden once and for all.

You met a boy your age not long after who had gone through a lot too. You told him about van Delden, and he, in return, told you about Hertzoon. You figured that Ketterdam had a lot of twisted merchants, maybe van Delden and Hertzoon had even worked together, due to so similar and calculated pattern.

You learned the boy was named Kaz, and you introduced yourself as well, and so you began working together. You tricked people, Kaz had found out that he was really skilled with cards and lockpicking, and taught you too. You stole food together, two minds thinking better than just one. The only difference with your personality and wit was that he didn't stand touch, where you had no problem with it. You bought a pair of leather gloves for him just so he'd stand it just a little bit better, and soon you two were known for being so young, but with your skills being extraordinary. People had tried to offer you a place in their gangs, but you had always said no, you planned to kill those two merchants that had ruined your lives, help each other hunt them down, and then leave Ketterdam. Maybe you'd stay together, maybe you'd separate after that, but the main focus was to kill van Delden and Hertzoon.

Despite all your will to have revenge, neither of you didn't think to actually meet the merchants ever again - until one day, years after living in streets with Kaz, you saw him. Van Delden stood there at the shop, and Kaz seemed to freeze too when he saw him. Without even thinking, you both pushed through the crowd, but were stopped by a giant bruiser.

"Shop's closed." he grunted at you, looking at Kaz and you, probably noticing the identical storms in your eyes.

"I can see it's open." Kaz growled at the big guy.

"You'll have to wait."

Kaz was starting to lose the last of his patience, as he growled, "I need to see Jakob Hertzoon."

The brute raised his eyebrows. "Who?"

Kaz looked at him with eyes that would have scared you if he looked at you like that. He looked like he could have stabbed the brute right there as his hand shot out to point at the window, and you noticed he was pointing at van Delden - and you understood. "Jakob fucking Hertzoon. I want to talk to him."

The bruiser looked at you two like you were out of your minds. "Get your head straight, lad. That ain't no Hertzoon. That's Pekka Rollins. Want to get anywhere at the Barrel, you'd best learn his name. Now get out of here, both of you."

Kaz pursed his lips, clearly wanting to keep arguing. But instead, he took a few breaths and then turned around, disappearing into the crowd again. You followed, trying to keep up with Kaz. You had seen him angry before, but now he looked more furious than ever before.

You had walked through the streets for a while, not talking, Kaz trying to let his steaming anger out the best he could. When he finally stopped by your squat, legs basically quivering from all the walking, you had gone inside and sat down with him, offering him a drink which he accepted.

"They were both Pekka Rollins," you mumbled after a few minutes of you sitting there quietly. "They're all the same person."

Kaz turned to look at you slowly, frowning slightly. "What?"

"Van Delden. Hertzoon. Rollins. They're the same person."

Suddenly, it dawned to him too. That's why it had been so similar pattern, how in sync they had acted. Rollins knew how to charm fools - children, parents, every poor person. Milk all the money he could possibly get off of people, and use their trust to trick them. It didn't matter who got hurt.

You both laid awake that night on your makeshift beds that were closer than most at the squat, but not too close. You could have used each other's warmth, but you always respected Kaz's boundaries with everything. So you were just staring at the roof quietly, planning what to do next. Eventually, you came into a conclusion that it would be the best to join a gang - Dregs, to be exact. Become equals to Rollins, feared, ruthless, respected. The kinds children would be scared with so they would not run off too far. So that day, you went straight to the Slat, asked to see Per Haskell and joined the Dregs. You'd be rising in ranks in no time - your hate and will for revenge would take care of it.

---

It had been ten years from that moment, and everything had gone like you planned. You both were Per Haskell's right hands, running the business for him. Most respected you more than they respected Haskell - only newbies didn't, because they hadn't seen you in action.

You were always buried in work together, planning for heists. Inej came by every once in a while, providing you information about your new target for a heist before slipping away again. Over the years, you had gathered a group of the most trusted people and called yourselves the Crows. You were closely working together, often pulling heists only by the seven of you.

But at some point of your partnership, after working so closely with Kaz - you had noticed you had developed new feelings for him, past partnership, past your friendship. They had been brewing for years, ever since you were teenagers, but it took a lot more time to catch what was it.

Feelings.

For someone like Kaz Brekker.

Other Crows had of course noticed it. Maybe you had too, but you had ignored it for ages. They also claimed that Kaz clearly loves you too, but one of you had to come forward in order to find happiness. But at least that couldn't be true, even if your feelings were true, there was no way Kaz's would be.

And even if they were, you didn't believe you'd be ready to anything romantic. Loving someone didn't fit into your life situation, in your plans. Happiness was overrated, you didn't need happiness, you needed revenge. Just like Kaz needed that too.

So you kept ignoring those feelings, pretending you weren't feeling something deeper than friendship towards him.

And unbeknownst to you, but Kaz did the exactly same thing. He ignored his feelings, his deep affection towards you. He believed you wouldn't like him back anyway, and even if you did, some silly romance would only distract you. It was better to have a professional relationship - maybe somewhat friendly, even. Kaz didn't want friends, nor did he need them, but he still thought of you as a friend. You had stood by him since he was just a boy, just like he had stood by you. You understood each other more than anyone else, and when you worked together, things were done efficiently.

That's why he never said anything, and neither did you. Maybe in the future, when things had gotten better, or then not. But whatever would happen, you'd always have a special place for each other, just a little bit of warmth in your cold hearts.

---

If you enjoyed this oneshot, PLEASE INTERACT BEYOND JUST LIKES!! The ratio between likes to comments and reblogs is really discouraging for writers and a lot of us have already left the community because of it...

Kaz taglist for the Freddy event: @scandalous-chaos @brekkers-desigirl @bb-skyrunner // send in an ask to be added, and specify which of Freddy's characters do you want to be tagged on! (This taglist is for Freddy event only, I won't take character taglists for anyone else than Freddy's characters)

amazing writing at always xx

Hi hun this is for your Freddy carter event. Can i get some fun, somewhat flirty, banter between the reader and Pin while he teaches the reader how to ride a horse??

FREDDY EVENT, send in requests for any of Freddy Carter's characters (NOT the man himself (= no Freddy Carter (the real person) x readers), only his characters)!! The event will be on for an indefinite time, if you're unsure, see if the event post is pinned. If it is, then it's still on. (Other requests are open too, but they go to my normal to-do list which I'm not able to start doing anytime soon)

Word count: 453

"Alright, now squeeze her into a walk," Pin instructed, backing up after giving you Pixie's reins. He seemed to notice the slight nervousness on your face for getting to ride a horse all by your own for the first time, and paused. "You can do this."

You smiled slightly, somehow those four words made you feel a little more confident. Your were positive that your crush on Pin affected it deeply though. So you squeezed Pixie's sides gently, and she started to walk slowly, as if knowing it's your first time riding by yourself.

"That's it," Pin smiled at you. "You're a natural."

"Well, I have the best teacher around here, don't I?" you teased, and he chuckled softly before continuing with instructions again.

"Try to make a small circle with her when you reach the corner. Remember, pull the reins to the direction you want her to go."

You did, and it felt like Pixie read your thoughts as you made the circle. You could feel Pin's proud eyes on you, and turned your head to look at him shyly while smiling happily. He returned your smile, and then pointed at the next corner, moving his hand across the enclosure.

"Turn from there, and ride to the other corner over there, across the field."

You did it again, flawlessly succeeding to follow his instructions. They were simple tasks, but you still hadn't expected to succeed in them. Maybe you were afraid that knowing Pin watching you all the time would make you too nervous, or then you would get an urge to show off. But instead, you had been able to concentrate on riding perfectly. The feeling was amazing, and knowing that your crush was proud of you made it a hundred times better.

"Alright, that's enough for the day. Ride here to me, I'll help you dismount." he told you and you did so, taking Pin's hand as you got down. When you had gotten down to him, he took a hold of both your hands and smiled again. "You did great, not that I expected any less from you."

You chuckled. "Maybe we'll be able to return to these lessons then soon? Maybe I could even go riding with a real duke one day."

He huffed as his smile grew wider, and you thought you saw a slight blush tinting his cheeks. "I'm sure he'll have the time to go riding with you when you've learned enough."

You nodded, your heart beating just a little bit faster as you took Pixie's reins and walked her back to her stable with Pin walking next to you, and you were exchanging shy smiles for the rest of your time together that day.

---

Freddy event's Pin taglist: @scandalous-chaos @brekkers-desigirl @mentallynotstableghost @bb-skyrunner @mrs-brekker15 // send in an ask to be added, and specify which of Freddy's characters do you want to be tagged on! (This taglist is for Freddy event only, I won't take character taglists for anyone else than Freddy's characters)

Don’t you just love it when you’re actually on a roll with a fanfic you’re writing and you’re feeling good about your progress, when your motivation for that story is derailed because you have a stray idea for another story that just rots your brain until you write that instead?

Ha no me neither.

How do you fall back in love with life?

clean your room.  clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesn’t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders.  clean the dishes.  sweep.  take out the trash.  peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them.  take a long shower.  scrub behind your knees.  brush your teeth.  (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can.  the end result is worth it.)

pull out your notebook.  it doesn’t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you don’t usually write in, or that you haven’t touched in a while.  fuck moleskins.  the yellow legal pad will work fine.  sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list.  count clouds.  describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise.  sketch the cracks in the walls.  note the shape light makes when it enters a space.  talk about what the air tastes like, smells like.  what sounds are there?  even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything.  remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail.  remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness.  your world is fathomless.  it has potential.

drink cold water and try to eat something that isn’t processed.  it does not need to be fancy.  buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions.  eat it outside.  if you’re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs.  take your fucking meds.  remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body.  your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesn’t change its inherent worth and splendor.  take care of it.

read a novel.  underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen.  read a novel like it’s poetry.  read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious.  watch a movie you haven’t seen before.  if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one.  take your time.  let yourself bask.  if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down – marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.

your chosen family is important.  remember, they picked you as much as you picked them.  the love has no obligation.  it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion.  you are not a burden.  if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people.  when they need you, listen and be gracious.  always be gracious.  the universe sometimes remembers things like that.

listen to new music.  link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that.  listen to something that you don’t usually listen to.  we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music.  we are falling in love again.  the soundtrack needs to be specific to that.  

allow yourself to indulge in romantics.  press flowers in old books.  play movies with subtitles and mouth the words.  dance in your room.  wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldn’t wear it in public.  write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them.  write poetry, even awful poetry.  revel in its awfulness.  eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market.  

this is amazing love!!!

SECRETS TO KEEP | PIN HAWTHORNE

Summary: Mia doesn't want her little sister Y/N ride and forces her into stopping. Pin is there to stand up for Y/N, and certain things about Y/N's past come to light, showing the situation in a new light. Idea by @misssociopath (we built her idea further with my ideas though)

Fandom: Free Rein

Pairing: Pin Hawthorne x fem!MacDonald!reader

A/N: I hope you like it Hadleigh!

Warnings: mentions of death/near death situation, cringy title 😅

Word count: 2.2k

(gif is mine)

You loved these moments. The moments when you could sneak away and prepare Dusty, walking him to the arena and mounting it, feeling like you became one with it.

You just felt so free when you were on Dusty, wind blowing on your face, feeling like you were flying over the obstacles...

"Y/N, get off that horse!" Mia's voice pulled you away from your utopia, and you saw her marching towards you and you pulled Dusty to a stop.

"Mia-"

"How many times I have had to tell you that you simply. Won't. Be. Riding," Mia scolded you and beckoned you to come down.

You lowered your gaze in shame, getting off Dusty and Mia took his reins the moment you had let go of him, starting to walk him out from the arena, laying one last disapproving look at you.

You knew that Mia didn't want you to ride, and you knew the reason for it, too. But despite that accident, you loved riding and wanted to compete one day, so you had ridden when Mia was busy with other stuff, hoping she wouldn't catch you. But she did every once in a while, more than often actually, and it always ended with her scolding you all the way back home, saying it over and over again that what if, what if. You wanted to tell her that if you would leave things you dreamed of undone and fear everything, you wouldn't be able to live at all, but Mia was stubborn and you knew she wouldn't listen.

After a while of it going on, you decided to wake up every single morning before anyone else did and make your way to the stables. Fortunately Sam didn’t mind people riding horses or doing stable work even if it was five at the morning, because that was exactly what you were doing. The sun hadn’t even risen yet when you arrived to the stables and put Dusty ready.

You kind of knew it was foolish, if something would happen, nobody would help you, but Dusty was reliable and had never even stumbled when you were riding it. You could just sink into your own world as you rode, and after a while you grew accustomed to it, and didn’t even notice when sun rose and a certain stable boy came to lean on the fence, watching you ride.

It was only when you pulled the reins to stop Dusty and dismounted him, Pin spoke up. “I didn’t know you could ride so well.”

You were startled by his voice, abruptly turning around. “Pin! How long have you been standing there? You scared the heck out of me.”

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “But I meant what I said. Have you thought about applying to any competitions?”

You frowned and then shook your head. “No, um… no. I really can’t, or I’m not interested. Or I’m interested, but uh…”

“Are you too shy to apply?” he asked, and you offered him a nervous smile, just simply nodding. You felt awful for lying, but you knew that if Pin knew the real reason, he would go straight to Mia and confront her and that was the last thing you wanted. Her nagging would never end if that happened.

“I just… it’s really nerve wracking to ride while some old dudes are watching me,” you told him. It was partly true, which was probably why it went through with Pin.

“I understand, competing isn’t for everyone,” he replied, and you nodded, starting to walk Dusty back to his stable before Mia would arrive to the stables.

“Did you know Y/N can ride?” Pin asked Jade while they were at the tack room together, and she frowned.

“No? I’ve never seen her ride. I didn’t even know she’s into riding-” Jade began, but then Mia popped in to the tack room, her forehead wrinkled in visible confusion, and Pin and Jade turned to look at her.

“You saw Y/N ride? When?” she asked, and Pin cocked his head, Mia’s tone wasn’t snappy for once. She sounded… worried?

“This morning. She was out there with Dusty already when I came to work around six thirty. Didn’t you know Y/N rides either?” he asked, but Mia disappeared from the doorway without another word.

“You rode again this morning,” Mia’s voice interrupted your thoughts as you brushed Dusty, and you froze before you quickly composed yourself again and tried to seem innocent.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t lie to me, I know you rode this morning. You clearly won’t listen to me, so you won’t be coming to stables at all anymore, starting tomorrow,” Mia announced and your mouth dropped open, you certainly didn’t think it would go this far. You took a few steps towards her, but her stern expression didn’t change at all.

“No, Mia, please, I won’t ride anymore, I-”

Mia shook her head, interrupting you. “You have promised it before too, and still you’re breaking it over and over again. You do realise that it could happen again, don’t you? And still, you’re risking it all over again.”

“I’m a much more skilled rider now! It won’t happen again, it’s-”

“You can’t know that!” Mia raised her voice, attracting some attention outside Dusty’s stable. “You won’t be coming to Bright Fields at all anymore, that’s final.”

She stomped away from Dusty’s stable, almost bumping to Pin who had just come to the scene. She glared at him. “Watch it!”

“What’s up with your sister?” Pin asked you when he leaned against Dusty’s stable door and frowned when he saw your tear-stained cheeks. He opened the door quickly, walking over to you, taking a hold of your biceps as you threw the brush on the ground. “Hey, hey, Y/N, what’s the matter?”

“Mia said that she won’t allow me to come into stables anymore, she had heard somewhere that I’ve been riding even though she has forbidden it and she said that since I won’t listen to her, she won’t let me to come here anymore,” you choked out, sniffling and wiping your eyes to your hoodie sleeves.

Pin frowned. “What?”

“Riding has been the only thing that has made me happy, dad doesn’t really care about me or Mia, he’s always working and he’s never got time for us… Mia copes with it by being mean to everyone but I’ve coped with it by riding Dusty, and now she’s going to take it away from me,” you continued and Pin rubbed your arms.

“I’ll talk to her, don’t worry,” Pin told you and you couldn’t help but choke out a mocking chuckle.

“No offense, but do you really think he’d listen to you? She holds some personal grudge against you and your dad because of the Raven case.” you shook your head, but Pin wasn’t one to back down.

“I can be very persuasive if the situation needs that,” he assured and left Dusty’s stable and you standing there, a stripe of hope and admiration flashing through in your eyes. “Don’t worry, she’ll listen or I’ll make her listen.”

He didn’t have to look for long before Mia appeared from the tack room, and Pin tried to hold himself back from raising his voice on that moment. He absolutely hated seeing you cry, and the reason for it being your own sister who wasn’t very kind to anyone just boosted him.

“How can you be like that?” Pin asked Mia and she turned around in surprise.

“Like what?” she asked and rolled her eyes, “I’m not interested in your opinions about me, Hawthorne.”

She turned, but before she could walk away, Pin spoke again, “Your sister is crying because of you.”

Mia sighed and Pin knew she rolled her eyes again. “She came up to whine about it to you?”

“She said that riding Dusty is that thing which she uses to cope when your dad is always busy with work. That’s a lot better coping mechanism that yours is,” Pin crossed his arms and stared at Mia.

Mia looked down at the ground and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Y/N has no right to tell about our family business to random people here at the stables.”

“Why won’t you just let her ride? Or is she better than you? You can’t take it that someone is better than you in something?” Pin pressed on and Mia looked like she’s thinking and glanced around, before she opened the tack room door again and Pin followed her inside before she could close the door. Mia pressed her lips together and glared at him, but then took in a deep sigh.

“Fine,” she mumbled, clearly tired of avoiding the situation. “You want to know the reason why Y/N can’t ride?”

“Other than your jealousy?” Pin raised his eyebrows and Mia groaned.

“I’m not jealous! It’s just that… something… happened when we were just two little girls on a riding trip. It was stupid, but we thought it was an adventure,” Mia began, looking down at the floor as she recounted that day. “We had been watching this cartoon show where two teenager girls were detectives on horses and they always found some artifacts from the forest near their house. I got this great idea that we could try to find artifacts like that too, so we jumped on our ponies and didn’t even check the weather.”

Mia took a pause, sitting down on a stool as her eyes were still glued on that spot on the floor.

“Misty, Y/N’s pony, threw her off as a lighting struck suddenly. She was catapulted straight against a tree and fell unconscious from the impact. I managed to get her on my pony and walked myself in the pouring rain, all the way back to our house. Once we were there, dad called an ambulance.”

Mia swallowed as shee took a break, and Pin noticed her hands were shaking.

“She got hurt,” she choked out, and Pin frowned, she had never cried in front of him. “Really, really hurt. They said it was a miracle that her neck didn't snap from the force of the impact. And at first, doctors thought that she’d be attended into a wheelchair for the rest of her life, but it took just a few years and she could run again like nothing had happened. And she still wants to ride. But the problem is that we all want things we can’t get, and I can’t risk Y/N hurting herself like that again. I managed to save her once, but I can’t know if I can do it twice.”

Pin stared at Mia for a moment before turned away from Pin to wipe her eyes, and then sighed. “Y/N is a really good rider, I don’t know if you have seen her ride now. I think she even could have skills to compete.”

Mia sniffled as she turned back to Pin, frowning. “She can’t be that good.”

Pin smiled slightly. “Give her a chance to show you. By forcing her to stay out of the stables you’ll only ruin your relationship.”

Mia thought for a long moment, which was a good sign, before she finally sighed. “Fine. But I’ll hold you responsible if anything happens.”

Soon, you were at the arena, riding skillfully, even though nervously as Mia and Pin watched. Mia didn’t really show it, but Pin knew she was secretly impressed by your skills. After you pulled Dusty to a stop and carefully approached Mia, ready to hear that she still doesn’t want you to ride, you were met with her sighing.

“Fine. Y/N, you can ride. But Pin, you’re responsible of her. If something happens, you’ll be held on account for that,” she told him strictly, and you looked between the two before Mia left the scene. You stared after her for a while, before you turned your gaze to Pin again.

“How did you get her to listen?” you asked, sitting beside Pin on the fence. He smiled slightly at you.

“I got her convinced that if she takes away things you love, she’s ruining her relationship with you too. She cares about you more than you think," he replied, and you blinked at him.

“Are we talking about my sister or some fictional version of her?” you asked, but Pin just chuckled.

“I was surprised to see her like that as well, I didn’t think she would even be capable for feelings,” he shrugged and then turned to look at Dusty who had smelled that he had an apple in his pocket. He gave a little laugh and let Dusty take a bite, making you smile too. “But really, Y/N, you’re an awesome rider and person, I’m only happy to help you.”

You smiled and Pin and then carefully leaned your head against his shoulder, partly expecting him to clear his throat and pull away, but he just wrapped his arm around you and pulled you tight against him. You couldn’t help but smile wider as your heart started to beat faster.

Maybe everything would turn out even better than you expected.

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Just needed to vent

No this is not anything I wrote, this is just me needed to vent somewhere where I know the person I am venting about isn't going to find it.

So I have an on again off again friendship with this one person we will call Emily and the reason it is because it is on again off again is because she always likes to start shit with me over everything and you are probably sitting here and asking me why I put up with her and honestly I don't know.

So I was talking-to a few friends in a group chat that I am in (Emily is also in this gc) and I had said something about how it's super fucking hot where I live and it's raining so I was out in the rain playing with my nephew and then when we walked back into my house it was cold because the air conditioning was on and Emily went to one of our mutual friends and told this mutual friend that I was complaining about the wether and was basically talking about me behind my back.

I have been through so much with Emily but I am at my last straw. How about don't be a fake fucking friend and stop talking about me behind my back! This makes me so mad because I have given Emily so many chances and we both said that this time was going to be different but she's talking about me behind my back.

Sorry for all of this but I needed to get it off my chest. I am fucking done with fake friends.

Friends, but Never Lovers

This piece that I wrote is for all my lovelies that have been through something like this. This idea just came to me one night and I knew I had to write it. So without further ado here is Friends, but Never Lovers

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We were friends, just friends, never lovers. I knew that from the start and I told myself to not get attached to him, but he was like nicotine with the way he was so addictive. He was something that I should’ve never gotten involved with but he was also someone I couldn’t stay away from. He seemed to be the only drug I couldn’t quit and looking back on it now I never should’ve been his friend, but I just couldn’t help myself. His green eyes were like emeralds with how mesmerizing they were, his laugh was so contagious you couldn’t help but laugh with him, his smile could light up an entire room more than the sun could, the way he cared for everyone in his life made you fall for him even more, and the way he always knew what to say be it be a bad joke or the best advice he could think of made my feelings for him grow even more. He had his flaws, who didn’t, but they were overlooked by how amazing he was….the problem with all of this is the distance, it’s the feelings that he doesn’t have for me, it’s the insecurities that I hold that push me back, it’s the fact that we are friends, but we will never be lovers. Unrequited love, perfect person at the wrong time, soulmates in another life. Call it what you want but what it really is the world playing one, big, cruel, and sick joke on me. In every way he was perfect for me, but I was never perfect for him and that’s what was lost in translation. So I have to sit here and remind myself….always friends….never lovers...