DCXDP Or Regular DC Writing Prompt!

I was talking with a friend about all the absolutely raw quotes on Tumblr and the random places they come from, like that one post with the mushrooms that says “you can’t kill me in any way that matters”. This brought up the philosophical discussions that turn into nonsense and back again yet keep making some semblance of sense the whole time so you love it and you hate it, the silly things that turn deep and philosophical, and the logical/illogical logic chains that refer to or resemble Diogenes’ “behold a man” moment.

Anyway, Tumblr is the lunatic’s philosophy sandbox.

“Why does Harry have to be a Parselmouth? Maybe all the snakes are just Pottermouths.”

- Fred or George probably

Ain’t no party like a speedster party, ‘cause a speedster party is fast.

? Cane

Riddler who uses a question mark cane not for aesthetic but because of an old injury (though that won’t stop Ed from making it aesthetic anyway).

Ed has a lot of different canes and he sometimes wonders if he ought to pare down his collection. Oswald with his million umbrellas says not to.

“It’s perfectly normal to collect various styles and weaponized varieties of functional style elements, Edward.”

“Not when it’s that many, Ozzy.”

Ed has a slight limp and can’t run well or for long distances. This is part of the reason for his complicated traps and tendency to be at a separate location, as his getaways need a little time.

He doesn’t let his leg stop him from doing crime, or anything he wants, really, and will absolutely use his cane to wallop Batman or anyone else who says different or tries to stop him. Or shoot them, if it’s a gun cane, slice them if it’s a sword cane…

Gun cane, sword cane, taser cane, grapple cane, sleeping gas cane… Ed is beginning to really think he should do something about his collection at some point.

Noir Detective Bruce Wayne

Petition for a Batman movie but it’s in the style of an old noir detective film with Bruce narrating his inner thoughts. Preferably with slight vibes like the sixties tv show, and mega vibes like BTAS.

Give us detective Bruce who cares about the people behind the rogues while brooding in the rain! Forensics! Trauma! Broody inner monologue!

And for my next trick, I will swallow the universe!

If my body is made of cells, does that make me a prison for very tiny criminals?

D’awww, she’s adorable! 💕 Many thanks for your generosity!

Happy anniversary of the day of your birth! 🎊

Might I request a mini witch from your stand? I would be most delighted to adopt a witchgirl named Cecily.

There you have it! You got a good one, Cecily is playful but she will help you with your homework or other things :3

Bat-family ages in Batman: Wayne Family Adventures

In Batman: Wayne Family adventures, Damian’s age is given as 9 (Ep. 13) and Jason's is given as 19 (Ep. 53).

Bruce’s age is not given, and neither are Steph’s, Tim’s, Cass’s, Alfred’s, Barbara’s, Duke’s, Harper’s, Jim’s, Kate’s, Luke’s, or Selina’s.

According to Ep. 35, Dick became Robin 16 years ago (from current time in WFA), and according to the WFA wiki, Tim figured out Batman and Robin’s IDs at age 9. By adding the typical age Jason dies at (15), Dick’s usual age when Bruce takes him in (8 or 10), and how old Bruce typically is when his parents die (also 8 or 10), along with the typical age ranges of the Bat-family members compared to each other and their apparent ages in the webcomic, we can use some (dubious) math to extrapolate the (at least general) ages of the Bat-family at certain points on the timeline.

Ages of Bat-family members when…

Bruce's parents died: Alfred Pennyworth - late 30's or early 40’s, Jim Gordon - 24 or 26 (figure that looks like Jim seen among background police in Ep. 132 of WFA), Bruce Wayne - 8 or 10 (typically when it happens), Kate Kane - Kid, 13 or under, Selina Kyle - Kid, 13 or under, Barbara Gordon - Infant or 2, Dick Grayson - Not born yet or infant.

16 years ago when Dick became Robin (WFA Ep. 35): Alfred Pennyworth - 40’s, Jim Gordon - 34, Bruce Wayne - at least 18 (would have to be a legal adult to take in a child), Kate Kane - late teens or early 20’s, Selina Kyle - late teens or early 20’s, Barbara Gordon - 10 or 12, Dick Grayson - 8 or 10 (usually how old he is), Luke Fox - at least 4 or 5, Jason Todd - 3, Cassandra Cain - 1 or 2, Harper Row - 1 or 2, Tim Drake - Infant or 1, Steph Brown - Infant or 1, Duke Thomas - Infant or 1.

Damian was born: Alfred Pennyworth - 40's or early 50's, Jim Gordon - 41, Bruce Wayne - at least 25, Kate Kane - mid or late 20’s, Selina Kyle - mid or late 20's, Barbara Gordon - 17 or 19, Dick Grayson - 15 or 17, Luke Fox - at least 11 or 12, Jason Todd - 10, Cassandra Cain - 8 or 9, Harper Row - 8 or 9, Tim Drake - 7 or 8, Steph Brown - 7 or 8, Duke Thomas - 7 or 8, Damian Al Ghul-Wayne - Infant (newborn). 

Jason became Robin: Alfred Pennyworth - 40's or early 50's, Jim Gordon - 41 or 42, Bruce Wayne - at least 25 or 26, Kate Kane - mid or late 20’s, Selina Kyle - mid or late 20's, Barbara Gordon - 19, Dick Grayson - 17 (most likely since he's typically not living at the manor at this point and you can be emancipated at 17), Luke Fox - at least 12 or 13, Jason Todd - 10 or 11, Cassandra Cain - 9 or 10, Harper Row - 9 or 10, Tim Drake - 8 or 9, Steph Brown - 8 or 9, Duke Thomas - 8 or 9, Damian Al Ghul-Wayne - 1 or 2. 

Tim figured out Batman and Robin’s IDs: Alfred Pennyworth - early or mid 50's, Jim Gordon - 42 or 43, Bruce Wayne - at least 27 or 29, Kate Kane - late 20's or early 30's, Selina Kyle - late 20's or early 30's, Barbara Gordon - 19 or 21, Dick Grayson - 17 or 19, Luke Fox - at least 13 or 14, Jason Todd - 12 or 13, Cassandra Cain - 10 or 11, Harper Row - 10 or 11, Tim Drake - 9 (according to WFA wiki), Steph Brown - 9 or 10, Duke Thomas - 9 or 10, Damian Al Ghul-Wayne - 2 or 3. 

Jason Died: Alfred Pennyworth - 50's or early 60's, Jim Gordon - 45 or 47, Bruce Wayne - at least 30 or 32, Kate Kane - 30's, Selina Kyle - 30's, Barbara Gordon - 22 or 24, Dick Grayson - 20 or 22, Luke Fox - at least 16, Jason Todd - 15 (typical age he dies), Cassandra Cain - 13 or 14, Harper Row - 13 or 14, Tim Drake - 12 or 13, Steph Brown - 12 or 13, Duke Thomas - 12 or 13, Damian Al Ghul-Wayne - 5. 

Currently in WFA: Alfred Pennyworth - early or mid 60's, Jim Gordon - at least 40's but probably 50 (going off of when he's present in GCPD, and his greying hair), Bruce Wayne - at least 34 but likely early 40's, Kate Kane - 30's or 40's, Selina Kyle - 30's or 40's, Barbara Gordon - 26 or 28 (a few, probably 2, years older than Dick), Dick Grayson - 24 or 26, Luke Fox - at least in his 20's (MMA Fighter, definitely an adult compared to the other kids), Jason Todd - 19 (given in Ep. 53 of WFA), Cassandra Cain - 17 or 18, Harper Row - 17 or 18, Tim Drake - 16 or 17, Steph Brown - 16 or 17, Duke Thomas - 16 or 17, Damian Al Ghul-Wayne - 9 (given in Ep. 13 of WFA). 

Riddler is such an OCDiva.