This Makes Me So Happy And Sad At The Same Time.!🥺

Surpassing mess

Something's haunting me from within

With teeth, claws, and an evil grin.

Unlike what the movies show

Mine doesn't mess with lights and photos.

I don't live in a haunted house,

Nor do I own the dybbuk box.

So why am I troubled when I try to sleep?

Why is my sanity so hard to keep?

Do you know what's even peculiar?

It's how much all this feels familiar!

They've been living within me all this while

Things I shoved down and never reconciled.

My brain can be a surpassing mess

Make the entire horror genre seem witless.

Because I don't live in a haunted house

Nor do I own the dybbuk box

But do you hear a girl constantly weep?

Until I finally fall asleep.

Sunshine In Disguise 🌤

Standing in the middle of a crowd

struggling to find my sound

I put my heart on a silver platter,

every wound unbound.

Endlessly wanting to do furthermore,

to feel a sense of belonging.

Until one day, I was worn out

wishing for an exemption from that longing.

It took me ages to comprehend

that it takes only one soul

willing to give you a corner of their heart,

to pull you out of that black hole.

Someone who'll sit with you

until you're ready to talk.

Someone you can hold on to

until you're ready to walk.

They'll give you an unfeigned smile,

the one that reaches their eyes.

And that is how you'll know

that's your sunshine in disguise.

Harry Styles / Two Ghosts

"What is stronger than the human heart Which shatters over and over and still lives."

endearments in letters to véra

KINTSUGI

I learned kintsugi so I could fix my favorite broken mug.⁣

The art that meant golden joinery,⁣

Golden repair.⁣

But I never thought about what it meant.⁣

Why would I? I fixed my mug.⁣

⁣

Until I broke,⁣

Until I saw cracks within people that I love.⁣

That was the moment I realized⁣

Kintsugi isn't just for fixing ceramics⁣

It is not to say what didn't kill you made you stronger.⁣

It is to show what didn't kill you is now a part of your story.⁣

A significant piece of who you are.⁣

For better or worse,⁣

whether it made you stronger, weaker, or traumatized,⁣

It's. Still. You. ⁣

⁣

So we pick up the broken pieces of ourselves and the ones we love⁣

And we put it back together with golden glue,⁣

As best as we can.⁣

We assure our loved ones not to conceal their scars⁣

We promise them the glued parts aren't ugly.⁣

That the cracks are now like a golden vein,⁣

a vein through which ichor flows.⁣

The same ichor that Gods bled is now,⁣

Keeping us immortal for a while.⁣

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.”

— C. JoyBell C.

Thoughts from the ledge

Standing on top of the tower one night,

Knees shaking from fight or flight,

Cold wind swishing past my numb face

As my heart starts picking up its pace.

I took a minute to look around

The shops, the people and the city's sound

Massive buildings standing upright

Others with their blue and red neon lights.

Then I stared at the ground below,

And how it would feel to finally let go

Twenty-something but I've felt enough

That I stand on the ledge and not to bluff.

I saw many streets that I still couldn't name

I've been here for two decades, what a shame!

That's when the irrational optimism kicks in

To hold on to the ledge, to find strength within.

So I step back and sit to clear my mind

To think of everyone I'd have to leave behind,

Places I'll never be, and moments I'll never seize,

And just maybe, in between life I'll find my peace.

Cardan's Letters to Jude

—burned by Lady Asha