So Many Hobbies, So Little Time. 📷✒️🏃🏾‍♀️ Jk, I’m Just Too Lazy. 😋😋😋#photography

YES PLS

i NEED a fic where cumplane become sworn brothers actually

🥒✈️Cumplane Secret identity AU???

Peerless cucumber becomes so notorious that he starts getting Airplane notices semi-regularly. Airplane needs some extra cash so he starts doing vtube/voice change streams where he draws PIDW characters, comics, monsters etc - he's a talented baby what can I say, and he gets a decent stream following, offering sneak peeks at his creative process - but he really doesn't want his face and ID as an erotica writer out there thank you!!!

Peerless Cucumber is absolutely ridiculous in his chat, ubiquitous, always there the second he starts streaming. Constantly dropping huge donos to ask ridiculous lore questions that literally go on for minutes... riding herd on other chatters and policing people... Eventually him being "worst mod" becomes a meme, and Airplane mods him mostly as a joke.

They start messaging, and weirdly it's not hellfire? Modding the channel is the first actually constructive thing Shen Yuan has done, like, ever. It turns out that when he has actual responsibility, he takes it pretty seriously? He's more reliable than anyone, especially himself, could have expected him to be? Everyone still clowns in him and calls him "worst mod", "everyone tell the mods they suck" but it starts to be affectionate, because he actually helps detoxify the community a little? (Only HE is allowed to be toxic on airplane's channel!!)

He decides to take a media and communications degree because social media is the only thing he's ever been good at. He sees a guy with a PIDW sticker on his laptop in his lectures, and they become study buddies! It's great!

They talk about their shared appreciation for PIDW probably more than they should. Study Buddy is pretty chill, he teases Shen Yuan for his BingGe obsession. Shen Yuan doesn't want to be a dick, so he doesn't really slag it off as much as he would online? And Study Buddy LIKES talking about the monsters and how cool Bing-gege is!! Maybe they talk enough that Shen Yuan figures maybe there's a reason he was never into wife plots? Maybe he's actually just... Not into... You know.... Girls? That way??? And Study Buddy is super chill? And maybe it's okay to talk about that stuff???

Meanwhile he's still chatting with airplane, who gets invited to attend a con to be on some kind of panel. He asks cucumber-bro along because he's shitting BRICKS, and he wants someone there who will, like... be in his corner?

Turns out Shen Yuan already has tickets because he and his study buddy were planning to go!

Oh, and look at that! He and airplane are booked at the same hotel! It's convenient!

They decide to meet in the lobby.

Shen Yuan and his study buddy go to their separate rooms to freshen up and rest, with a plan to meet for breakfast. Thirty minutes later, they're both back in the lobby.

Both of them are "waiting for someone."

Both of their "someones" are running LATE.

Shen yuan messages Airplane.

Study Buddy's phone buzzes.

Their eyes meet.

No fucking WAY. this is the guy who talked him through his LBH inspired GAY AWAKENING!! The friendly and supportive "bro" he has COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT??? And that's AIRPLANE?

He literally spent five minutes TALKING ABOUT LBH'S MUSCULAR CHEST AND STAR STUDDED GAZE... to AIRPLANE????

Has he really spent MONTHS coming to the terms with the fact that AIRPLANE is kinda....

Could Bingge maybe portal in with Xin Mo and drag Shen Yuan to hell, because he can't deal with this 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

oooh and it proves to himself that it wasn't all just a dream or a figment of his imagination because he didn't even know how to do calligraphy or play a ancient chinese instrument in his last life, so obviously, he couldn't have possibly just made up so many years with his friends and family and binghe--

sometimes he can close his eyes while he plays and he's suddenly in his bamboo house, with binghe nearby, perhaps dusting the shelves for a millionth time as an excuse to be near his husband, and he's back home but--

he's broken out of it by applause.

he opens his eyes. his old (new, he had had such a thin face in this body) poker face slips into place as his eyes dull.

--oh. he's still here.

I love Bingge/Shen Yuan so much but I long for more AUs where Shen Yuan wakes up like the pevensies falling out of a wardrobe., and his Bingmei finds him anyway...

Shen Yuan de-transmigrates, wakes up sputtering for breath on his apartment floor, picks himself up, and tries to pretend he hasn't just lived over a decade as the main love interest in a trashy danmei series.

Swears off web novels and forums for life. He pleads with his parents for a Guqin after having shown zero interest in any constructive hobby in his life before, they're shocked he can actually play it? Like, very well? He joins a society, making waves as a scholar of traditional Chinese arts seemingly coming from out of nowhere?

Somehow he's much calmer going out in public than before. Doesn't feel his chest closing up so much... obviously it was his asthma.... (Not that he had social anxiety before, but if he did, he kind of stopped worrying in that... Weird dream? Because nobody seemed real at first. Not that they were real...) Anyway, if he just does what Shen Qingqiu would do, he always seems competent. Even if he's scrawny, dumb Shen Yuan.

He's out playing some day when he sees... someone... watching him, slightly scruffy streetwear, there one moment gone the next. He misses Binghe so bad, he's been ignoring it this whole time. And that guy - but, he needs to not be ridiculous. Stop pining for a fictional character Shen Yuan! You're better than this,!

A week later there's a knock on his door, he opens it to this short, scruffy looking guy who immediately says "Cucumber bro? Is that you?" He panics and nearly shut the door.

Someone gets their hand in the door first and pries it open.

"Shizun? That is you right? Running away again?"

I will legit read fanfics anywhere. Home, school, funerals and weddings. Anywhere.  Do you know how many close calls I’ve had by now? I'll be reading slash and I'm on an innocent part and my mom just rips my phone out of my hand, read it, then give it back. I just go into a panic because if she had scrolled just a little bit further...

people who read fanfiction in public are underrated heroes

I just think Shang Qinghua should get so angry one time that he unconsciously overrides the System and unlocks Admin privileges and just deletes entire clans out of existance in the blink of an eye while going "writing you in was a mistake".

And I also think everyone who saw that refuses to ever talk about it, but they're all scared shitless of the tiny human by Mobei-jun's side now because they realize he's not just really smart and an amazing strategist, he's also a god and can kill them all in 0.5 seconds. And now they all think that Shang Qinghua is actually the one running the show and Mobei-jun is just, like, the face of the Northern kingdom only.

Shang Qinghua is utterly horrified when he snaps out of it and realizes what he's done (somehow??? He doesn't know wtf just happened) and how now everyone is terrified of him except for Mobei-jun who is just looking at him with heart in his eyes lmao

i love every binggeyuan fic where bingge isekais into the modern world and shen yuan gets the pleasure of teaching him how his world works. all the fics that ive seen so far feature shen yuan being very patient and non-judgmental when showing bingge basic things….

but like can you imagine? your favorite little psychotic character suddenly shows up in your apartment one day and now you’re teaching him how the internet works like hes an old man???? and you have to hold in your laughter when he fails to open a prescription bottle because of the child lock???? this man will kill you if you laugh at him. now go explain to him in your most serious voice why hatsune miku isn’t real

A pole dancing bunny for whoever who wants it.

Cumplane AU Sqh fell asleep on the bus on SY shoulder, causing Sy to miss his stop. SQH offered him to stay at his apt because it's snowing

inspired by a Destial fanfic Strangers on a Bus by Terene

-

SY felt nervous and jumpy; it was his first time on a bus. He fought with his family over their overprotectiveness and ran onto the bus leaving the station. He had no clue where this bus goes, when, and how to get off?

The bus grew busier as the seats filled up within a couple of stops, leaving SY shoulder-to-shoulder with the guy next to him. The guy had messy brown wavy hair, a baggy hoodie, and sweatpants. Overall, he looked very comfy compared to the button-up SY was wearing. It made SY want to reach over and squish his cheeks together, which would be inappropriate to do to a stranger on a bus.

In the meantime, he searched the bus and its route to see if there was a stop near his apartment; his phone was blowing up with text messages and calls. There was a high chance that his whole family might already be waiting for him at his apartment. At least the bus did stop near his apartment in 10 more stops, but with the bus stopping at almost every stop, he should get comfortable.

He started planning and thinking of every response and question he needed to prepare for with his family. This was not the first time they fought about this topic, but it was the first time SY stormed off like this. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, trying to calm himself down. 6 stops left to go, and SY did not want to go.

The loud bus could not even distract SY from his frantic planning, it wasn't until he felt an impact on his shoulder that he noticed that the cute guy next to him had fallen asleep.

"Hey," SY said while shaking him slightly. His attempts at escaping the situation were not working. He couldn't move because the bus was crowded, and the dude was dead to the world. SY had no choice but to sit there until the guy woke up.

5 stops. 4 stops. 3 stops. 2 stops. 1 stops. And 0

He watched as his apartment building slowly disappeared out of sight. In a way, he was relieved. There was an excuse to delay the inevitable talk with his parents. He tilted his head to look at the guy more clearly; now that he was close to the guy, he could see the freckles and eye bags this guy had. He reckoned that with proper self-care, this guy would get scouted by so many different companies.

"Orange Road Apartments." The guy's eyes snapped open, and he made eye contact with SY for a couple of moments before he realized that he was, in fact, resting his head on someone else's shoulder while staring at them.

"Oh my god..." The guy said as he threw his head off SY's shoulder at an uncomfortable speed, causing the guy to yelp in pain while holding his neck.

"I'm so sorry, uh, ah, I didn't- I didn't mean to do that." Now that the guy was awake, SY could tell that he was really tired with the way his eyes still slowly closed before opening again.

"It's fine," SY said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't cause any trouble for you, right?" Well, in trouble could be used to describe SY's current situation. He could just call a taxi back, but at this point, he felt rebellious, and a couple more hours out wouldn't hurt.

"I did miss my stop."

"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry man, uh, this bus is the last bus on this route.." The guy informed him, and SY immediately checked the bus app he downloaded 20 minutes ago.

"Ah...I see"

"But there are other buses at the next stop, so you can transfer to a different bus that does run. I get off at the next stop, so I'll help you figure out the bus you need to go on. I'm so sorry." The bus stopped after the guy pressed the button next to the window. They walked off, thanking the bus driver.

SY didn't notice this, but it was sprinkling outside. Just tiny drops that he could barely feel through his jacket. Then like the world hated SY, it started pouring.

"Shit!" The guy cursed, pulling SY into the apartment building next to the bus stop.

scumplane is a shit that I need more of, please. alongside cumplane and scumcumplane. I need more of this shit. I swear that I read a fic or a ficlet somewhere about this exact scenario: Shang Qinghua getting together with his little scum villain only to have to grieve when Shen Yuan takes over and his Shen Jiu is gone.

but! I can't! remember! where I read it!!!!!

GUYS I CANT. MY CORE HAD BEEN SHOOKEN TO ITS MAXIMUM LEVEL OF SHOOKETH. SCUMPLANE MY BELOVED. SHANG QONGHUA.

I ACTUALLY CANT!! YOU THINK SHANG WINGHUA WOULDNT HAVE NOTICED THAT SHEN YUAN HAD TAKEN OVER STRAIGHT AWAY!! SHANG QINGHUA FOR GOT LOADS OF HIS STORY! HE FORGOT SO MUCH OF IT, WVEN SHEN YUAN KNEW MORE!

BUT HE WAS ABLE TO REMEMBER SHEN JIU’S BACKSTORY ?

Also, I want to add, that while Shen jiu is an asshole, he also fits the “cold and mysterious” description that mobei had.

I’m just saying. Shang Qinghua has a type.