Pedestrian Trying To Cross : Wait Please I Have A Family At Home Please Please Ple-

i would never put myself in your shoes because 1. my feet ouchy and 2. they ugly as hell

you can pry this potato out of my cold, dead hands

cringemaxxing at the examination hall

batman wrote this

batman comic arcs are so mindlessly dark all the time. “the killing joke” “death in the family” “batman’s grave” how about “batman has a nice fucking day for once” huh? “batman chills the fuck out and spends some time with his kids” “batman and the relaxing picnic” “batman has a really good cup of tea and its not poisoned or drugged because he’s been stressed lately” huh???? what about that, assholes.

*adds some yummy treats into the box to make your kidnapping experience gourmet*

[ holding a box ]

get in the box there's cool stuff

AIGHT! *gets in box* Oh DEAR! ITS DARK AND SAD IN HERE! THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY I COULD'VE PREVENTED THIS!

the name aubergine is much too good a name for such a vile, foul, debauched vegetable

i think the problem with the american government is that it clearly does not fear the people

crazy how people will go out of their way to make existence hell for anyone who don't fit their definition of 'correct' people. we could be crotcheting rn. we could be kissing if you weren't such a bitch. have you thought of that

Coffee. At the airport.

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating