Thinking About The Absolute Banger Of A Line We Are Sure To Get With Eddie's Love Confession.

Happy pride y’all! 

If you want to support a little lesbian artist and express yourself in the form of a dragon, you can find all my pride flag buddies here and get them printed on shirts, phone cases, stickers, bags, what have you!

so, um.

i've been thinking about "pilgrimage" for a while now. and about how we still haven't reached much of a consensus on what we're expecting from that episode.

pilgrimage. definition: a journey, especially a long and difficult one, made to some sacred or important place, typically as an act of devotion, or in search of deeper meaning, healing, or understanding.

the way this show works, i'm expecting to see all the characters on their own personal pilgrimages. some of them are easier to imagine than others.

maddie and chim taking jee-yun on her first beach trip, maybe. maddie, reconciling and processing both her harrowing, terrifying time in the ocean and her fear of jee near water. chimney, there to support her. both of them anchoring and grounding themselves in each other's presence, in the security of their family, and in the comfort that comes from teaching jee-yun to swim. watching her safely doggy paddle and splash and play in the shallow water, a lifejacket on her shoulders and a smile on her face, with the knowledge that she's safe and happy with both of her parents.

hen, finishing med school. becoming a doctor, finally, after her long journey of stress and studying and sleepless nights. she worked so, so hard to get here, and it was worth it. she doesn't necessarily have to leave her job and her home at the 118- she could be captain there someday, after all! but she's armed with so much more knowledge now, knowledge and training that will help her save even more lives, whether that's in a hospital or out in the field. and that medical license? it will help her advocate for every patient she treats, especially the ones overlooked by the medical system- her mom comes to mind. it forces everyone to take her seriously, to give her the respect she deserves, from the moment she introduces herself to them. and above all else, she will have proven to herself that she can do it. that she can chase each and every one of her dreams, at her pace and on her terms. just like she quit her pharma job, just like she became a firefighter despite eva's lack of support- only now, she has the support and encouragement from all her family and friends.

bobby, taking a trip to minnesota. maybe athena's with him, maybe may and harry. or maybe not. the fire at dispatch brought back a lot of old pain for him, even as saving may helped heal some of his oldest wounds. a karmic balancing of the scales, in a way- we know bobby tends to see things that way. but may isn't brooke. bobby buried a wife, a son, a daughter. and visiting their resting place to pay his respects, to tell them about his sobriety, about his new family, about how he creates families everywhere he goes now, about how much he misses them every day but despite it all he hasn't stopped living- that's a pilgrimage. and one i think he sorely needs to take, in order to heal.

for a while, i thought buck might take a trip back to hershey in this episode. but now i'm not so sure. eddie's already been back to el paso, and aside from that, i wasn't sure what a pilgrimage might look like, for him.

but then it hit me.

buck and eddie, going back to the site of the shooting. together. talking about it, processing it- as frank put it, "maybe you should talk about your pain with someone who shares it. think about your trauma. and then talk to someone who can understand exactly what you've been through."

that would be a pilgrimage, wouldn't it?

there's this scene in survivors, that i don't think we talk about enough- understandably, considering everything else going on in that episode. it's a quiet, blink-and-you'll-miss-it little moment between bobby and athena, that takes place only a handful of scenes after buck hauls eddie into the fire engine and desperately tries to keep him from bleeding out. and it goes like this:

athena: you know, after i was attacked, we never really talked about it.

bobby: well, i always got the sense you didn't want to.

athena: no, i mean... we never talked about what it was like for you.

bobby: there's that thing people say... 'i don't know what i'd do without you'. because losing someone you love is such an alien concept. you don't want to imagine what it's like. and i was sitting in that engine thinking i was listening to you dying. and i didn't need to imagine anything. i knew what my life would feel like without you in it. and it scared me.

👀

so, yeah. pilgrimage. i'm a firm believer in buck and eddie having their first kiss in the kitchen- i'm ready to tell you that i'm in love with you, so i'm telling you now, because i need you to know how loved you are, but i also know you need more time, and i will wait right here until you're ready for me too.

but when it comes time for a mutual display of commitment, that we're really doing this, i'm all in if you're all in, for better or for worse moment? i can't think of a better spot than the intersection where everything changed. episode one gave us a call where a man was shot by what looked to be a (large caliber) bullet, but was revealed to be a symbol of gay love and commitment- life saving for one man yet simultaneously life threatening for another. the thing that hurts is sometimes the thing that heals.

remember the funny little thing eddie said to buck in survivors, right before it all went south?

should have gotten here sooner.

pilgrimage: that street corner, no blood in sight. foreheads pressed together, leaning close, shaky hands on each other's faces, teary eyes. a kiss, maybe, or maybe not- the meaning's still the same.

buck, to eddie: nah. we're right on time.

Jacob: I will protect her with me life Everyone: I mean you don’t have to Jacob: nono I’m gonna

9-1-1, what’s your emergency? The wait is almost over, 9-1-1 eturns for Season 6 on september 19th! Are you ready?  Quickly fumbled this together after getting hyped from the new promo. Hope you dig it!

Whenever Netflix gets around to doing something with the rights to the Chronicles of Narnia, I want them to know one thing:

We don’t want remakes of the original films. What we want is a series about the Golden Age.

One that begins right after the Pevensies’ coronation, and ends when they accidentally stumble back through the wardrobe.

We want episodes about adjusting to the responsibility of being rulers.

We want episodes about Peter subconsciously using WWII tactics when fighting the Giants in Ettismoor to the north, and being horrified with himself when he realizes.

We want episodes about how the Pevensies earned their titles—the Magnificent, the Gentle, the Just, the Valiant.

We want episodes about Susan receiving her first offer of marriage from a suitor, and struggling with the idea of ever leaving her siblings—even for love.

We want episodes on how Archenland was rebuilt, and about the disappearance of Prince Cor.

We want episodes about Edmund having chronic nightmares for their first couple of years in Narnia and trying to hide it, struggling to learn to forgive himself as Aslan forgave him.

We want episodes about how the apple orchard came to be.

We want episodes about the wars with Calormen.

We want episodes about Lucy getting tired of being cooped up in Cair Paravel and deciding to go on an adventure of her own—only for Peter to comedically misread the situation and believe she’s been kidnapped.

We want special episodes about the Horse and His Boy from the Pevensies’ point of view, possibly even tying in with a Horse and His Boy movie.

We want episodes where, matched in a battle of wits with a neighboring princess, Edmund is too busy trying to verbally destroy her to realize that he’s fallen head-over-heels in love with her.

We want comedic episodes where Peter and Edmund test their sisters’ suitors.

We want episodes where it becomes painfully obvious that Lucy is Peter’s favorite sister.

We want episodes where, when a sudden sickness strikes the land, Susan abandons all caution to help nurse her people, and all learn why she is called the Gentle.

We want episodes where the Pevensies first come to the Lone Islands.

We want episodes where, when visiting a neighboring country, someone in court is abruptly murdered and Edmund plays detective for an entire arc.

We want episodes where Lucy saves Peter in just the nick of time with a force of archers during one of the battles with Calormen.

We want episodes about Narnia healing from its time under the White Witch.

We want episodes about how much their people loved them—and how distraught they were in the aftermath of their disappearance.

We want Golden Age Narnia.

i might just be autistic but data entry fucking rules dudes you just. enter the data. you take the data and you plug it in. then what? who knows! who cares. the data. has been entered. what next? buddy you’re not gonna believe this it’s more fucking data. excel used to be my enemy but now she is my best friend

its so difficult to explain the absolute dread and fear to Americans about the Queen dying because they leap immediately to jokes and memes or rolling their eyes and asking if you're a royalist.

babes....they've planned a national MONTH of mourning for when she dies. all programming shifted to mourning the Queen, and god knows it'll be tory brainwashing.

a funeral costs around 12 million for a prince!! how much is it going to be for a Queen!! a new coronation's price???

the things this black hearted government will cut, or shove through parliament, under the guise of mourning?? the martyring???

energy bills are predicted to rise to £7700 ($8800) a year, do you understand how this can be twisted? inflation to 24%? they're already using the war in Ukraine as an excuse, but this??? gold mine for them.

I'm not saying don't make your jokes, but PLEASE understand if a British person seems horrified and shell shocked because We Know What Comes Next but even then, not under such a fascist and authoritarian government in such a poverty inducing time.

You know what shit I am a slut for Eddie calling Buck ‘Evan’ or even endearments in Spanish in fanfic.

I even wanna see it happen in the show more.

Like Buck has probably never heard anyone (aside from Maddie) use his name in a kind, loving way. Heaven knows his parents never did, they probably only said his name in anger, disappointment or hell even resentment.

But Eddie, he fucking used ‘Evan’ to tell him that he was the legal guardian of his son in his will. Eddie Diaz used ‘Evan’ in a way that was so important, so soft and loving when handing him the most important thing in his life, his son.

It’s just mind blowing.

y'all...buddie best friends era though. them going on silly lil outings together because chris is spending time with friends and eddie is trying to figure out who he is when he's not being A Dad and buck has all the free time in the world. buddie in street clothes just going out together buddie at the movies buddie on a hike buddie one on one time and them reaffirming the fact that they're each other's favorite person and only falling more in love