How Do I Get You To Notice Me And My Feelings? How Do I Get You To See How Hard I've Fallen? And How

I’m scarred that one day you’ll wake up and not love me anymore.

When we get distant.

In the dead of night, I can only find you. So I’m left to wonder, When it’s 2 am and you can’t sleep, Do you think of me too?

I hope you do

After you, I don’t know if I believe in love or I believe in how the idea of having you was more appealing than being alone with myself. Still, I don’t blame you for leaving, who would want to stay to begin with? I dont even like myself.

Being happy hurts. It’s one truth of the world no one wishes to speak about. Being happy doesn’t allow for sadness. Being happy doesn’t allow for others to help you. And lord forbid that you actually say that you aren’t ‘happy’.

“But you have a such a good life”

I don't know what happened for fate, or destiny, or maybe just sheer coincidence, to push us together, but I have a feeling that whatever happens from here will only strengthen the nonexistent bond that we have yet to form.

Inside the Artist #4

I put it to my head and pulled the trigger. I should have listened when they said love was a dangerous thing.

Love is a different death

Dear Expectations, You are always there when I need you the least. You make a simple task feel immensely impossible. You run my fingers raw while writing a paper, my mind to exhaustion to be absolute perfection, and my body to sleep deprivation in search of a grade no less than what I need to pass. In the search of a way around you, I stand in your shadow, unable to overtake the panic that you make arise in my chest, the pounding that never ceases until after the deadline has passed or my grade sealed in the grave that you have been helping me dig. your shadow isn't big enough to keep me inside, it is not bog enough to harbor the panic and the anxiety that you bring with you wherever you go. Following you like two hungry watch dogs, waiting for me to fall to the ground, to feast upon what is left.  While you are there to bring me up when I have to do my best, you bring an illusion of a silver lining making this seem worth it in the slightest sense. For the reward of praise is too much to ask from you when all you deal in deceit and terror.

With no love

Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily? You make it hard smile because you make it hard to breathe. Why do you do this to me?

Secondhand Serenade

Your touch is like electricity on my skin. I jolt at the feeling of your hand on my back. It makes me feel both safe and completely vulnerable at the same time, and I crave it when we are together.

You are my drug

Am I happy? Yet another difficult question. Of course I'm going to lie when I'm not. I'll always say I'm happy, just so no one worries. So no one who is happy has to deal with my darkness. I just hope one day you'll see I'm crying help with my actions, not my words. I just hope someone knows me well enough to see through my lies.

But I'll gladly be happy for you