I Feel The Closest To You When You Are The Farthest Away.

Your eyes are the sky. Your voice is the earth. And your hug is what keeps me grounded.

Before you left

The shower is the only place I don’t crave your touch. The warmth of the water is the only thing that reminds me of your body on mine.

I miss you

It's fine. I'm used to being alone.

2 am Thoughts

I’m sorry if I seem distant. I’m sorry that I keep apologizing about the little things I do. I’m sorry that sometimes I stumble over my words when I know what I want to say. I’m sorry that you had to order food for me sometimes because I was afraid to speak to the waiter. I’m sorry that I made this situation more awkward than it should have been. I’m sorry that I made whatever we had weird. I’m sorry that we became so close. I’m sorry that I upset you because you couldn’t make me happy anymore. I’m sorry that my mind decided to close itself off to you. I’m sorry that this bottle of pills is the only thing standing between me and happiness.

I’m sorry that I ruined you

Did I ever matter to you? Or was I just the end game? A prize? I went into this relationship thinking I'd feel more loved than used.

I guess I was wrong about a lot of things

Being happy hurts. It’s one truth of the world no one wishes to speak about. Being happy doesn’t allow for sadness. Being happy doesn’t allow for others to help you. And lord forbid that you actually say that you aren’t ‘happy’.

“But you have a such a good life”

All of the sad songs make me think of you. But that's a part of all break ups. And even when I think I'm over you I hear that one song and all the feelings come back. And then I'm at square one all over again. It's such a vicious cycle that I was pulled into and can't seem to pull myself out of.

- I haven't cried... Yet

This feeling, what is it? Puppy love? A school boy crush? I hope not, I want this feeling to last. This feeling of belonging right where I am and not having to prove myself to get here. I want this to last, I want this to last. I want this peace to keep flowing over me, I want to feel like I am nothing. Because that is what I feel is going to be my escape when everything comes crashing down around me. Because you'll still be here, and I'll still be me.

Inside the Artist #5

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I thought you weren't coming back, so I gave up hoping you would. I gave up because someone like me doesn't just become friends with someone like you. Someone of your caliber would go to someone much more deserving and not already gone.

Inside the Artist #6