How To Get The Guy. A Five Step Guide. Easy To Follow Instructions. Results May Include But Are Not Guaranteed

If you’re just a dream then I don’t want to wake up.

This can’t be a nightmare

Do you like me? I have to tell you I'm oblivious to anything flirting you might be doing. Even with all the conversations and our inability to stop talking until the odd hours of night I'm still wondering. Do you feel the same way I do? Or am I just overthinking and analyzing everything I shouldn't be?

When we can't end our calls

The day will come when I’m over you. That day may be the same day you realize you love me too. I can’t wait forever but you and your feelings can take their time. Because what was lost for me may return, but not the same as it was before.

Is this flirting or am I thinking too much?

"Thank you for putting a smile on my face even when I was one of the darkest places I have ever been."

- I forgot to thank you (via. Wounded-Writing)

Dear Expectations, You are always there when I need you the least. You make a simple task feel immensely impossible. You run my fingers raw while writing a paper, my mind to exhaustion to be absolute perfection, and my body to sleep deprivation in search of a grade no less than what I need to pass. In the search of a way around you, I stand in your shadow, unable to overtake the panic that you make arise in my chest, the pounding that never ceases until after the deadline has passed or my grade sealed in the grave that you have been helping me dig. your shadow isn't big enough to keep me inside, it is not bog enough to harbor the panic and the anxiety that you bring with you wherever you go. Following you like two hungry watch dogs, waiting for me to fall to the ground, to feast upon what is left.  While you are there to bring me up when I have to do my best, you bring an illusion of a silver lining making this seem worth it in the slightest sense. For the reward of praise is too much to ask from you when all you deal in deceit and terror.

With no love

You told me you liked magic, I like magic too. I love the targeted deception, almost like feelings, but with a fire pit inside. Like how your touch is like the trick I pull when I say 'pick a card'. How your breath against my skin is nothing more than an illusionist's touch on their own special segment. You told me you liked magic. Little did I know your favorite trick was the disappearing act.

Now You Don't

Why me? Why now? Why this? Why me? Out of all the other girls who would pay to have you attention for even a minute you chose me, someone who never came to you to seek any. I’ve admired you for a while but you never felt the same way, so why now? I have so many questions in my mind about why you have taken an interest in me, but I won’t get a straight answer even if I asked. So I’ll wait until we get close to ask. But before we do anything…. Why this?

I don't know what to think

I thought I'd be fine when you decided to leave. But here I am in a puddle of my own tears and trying to figure out to turn off these damned things called emotions.

2 AM Thoughts

"Everything I let go of to forget you came back the second you said 'hey'."

-2 A.M. Thoughts (via. Wounded-Writing)

Am I happy? Yet another difficult question. Of course I'm going to lie when I'm not. I'll always say I'm happy, just so no one worries. So no one who is happy has to deal with my darkness. I just hope one day you'll see I'm crying help with my actions, not my words. I just hope someone knows me well enough to see through my lies.

But I'll gladly be happy for you