“Will It Be Easy? Nope. Will It Be Worth It? Absolutely.”

“The only thing we can bring with us to heaven, is other people.”

— something I heard at church today that hit my heart right where it needed to (via @lovechangeseverythang)

People who really know me knows that I process information slowly and forget it very fast as well.

bellalovecoach ~ Instagram

“A healthy relationship is where two independent people just make a deal that they will help the other person be the best version of themselves.”

— Unknown

“Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship. I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone. But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever - and yet the friendship is the one people ignore. I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets - they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing - not even a date - out of you? It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning. The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together. Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.”

— Single serving size // r.i.d

The number of times I've changed my ringtone to make it peaceful is insane.

The moment I hear my ringtone, all the peace and silence leaves me with the coming onset of dread and anxiety.

Advice your mother should’ve given you.

Stick by your word and stand firm with your boundaries. Don’t allow people to poke, probe, and push your limits, boundaries, and no zones after you told them not to. Don’t be fooled, all people need is one warning to get the memo that something is off limits, but no one will respect a person who is all talk and no action. Put action behind your words, no one will take your words seriously if you don’t, empty threats get you nowhere. People only continue trying you when they know/think they can get away with it. Say it with me, first times a warning, second times a done deal. Don’t disrespect yourself by going against your boundaries and personal code. 

Thesis 101: Condensed version

In my experience, there is always someone somewhere starting their thesis, or struggling to the thesis finish line, or stuck in that middle part where it’s hard work without the reward. If you are just getting started on your thesis (or another big project) and you feel a bit lost and overwhelmed: fear not, I have your back. I created a list of tips that I found useful while writing my MSc thesis (psychology).

Let me know if this was helpful and if you want more. I originally wanted to post a whole series of tips on different stages of the thesis process, so consider this the drastically condensed version of that.

Getting started

Find a lab that works on a topic that interests you and with a team that you feel comfortable with.

Make sure you know where to go with questions and get to know the structure.

Set up your goals from the beginning and make a planning.

The best thing you can do at the beginning of your thesis is figure out what you want, what your university requires, and how the project works.

Planning

Create a list of all the steps you need to take to finish your thesis and divide them over the time (months, weeks?) that you have until the deadline.

At the very beginning, discuss this schedule with your supervisor.

Create in-between deadlines, with your supervisor and also with yourself.

At the beginning of each month, write down what you should do each week.

At the beginning of each week, write down what you should do each day.

Make a list of things you need to do each day, preferably the night before, so you can start right when you sit down.

You could even calendar block if that’s your cup of tea.

Steps

Here’s an example from a psychology graduate (me):

Literature search/brain storm

Research question, hypotheses

Summarizing results into proposal

Make a plan

Learn how to analyze data

Execute plan (e.g., data collection)

Analyse data

Write down results

Draw conclusion

Revision, feedback, revision, feedback, revision!

 Reflection

Every week (or at whatever interval you prefer), sit down for 20 minutes and reflect on your progress. Ask yourself:

What did I do this week?

What went well?

What did not go as planned?

What can I do to improve next week?

What is on my to do list for the next week? What’s my focus? Are there things on the long run that I need to start working on?

Reflection keeps you on track but also allows you to think about what you learned in the process.

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