Theo : “If You And A Same-sex Friend Are Eating Out And Request One Check And The Waiter Set It Down

Growth spurts. That’s all we ever wanted.

Stayed up till 2am studying physics, did I get anything? No

Actually maybe.

But I fucking studied, stu(died) till 2am and then decided its sleep time but now I'm here at 6:30 am not a wink of sleep and tired yet only a tinge sleepy, I kid not, Im starting to feel sleepy form just typing this and nothing... I'm broken. Defected. I'M UNSTOPABLE, WHO NEEDS CAFFEINE WHEN YOU HAVE THE WEIGHT OF YOUR OWN DAMN CONSEQUENCES KEEPING YOU AWAKE HAHAHA HA.... This blog is just gonna be a slow descencion into my own insanity.

Also I'm supposed to get injected with chemicals today so that's fun, fuck covid. ummm again what is sleep don't know, haven't known for the past how many months, I think it's almost been a year. I have class at 9band I'm fucked so a normal day I guess..... Have a great day hoomans.

"craving a food means your body needs something that food can offer" now what the fuck does my body need with an ice cream

some quiet moments sketched from the last week or so.

the first law of tragedies: the end is already written and inevitable. the second law of tragedies: your actions are all your own and you can choose to get off this ride whenever you want. the third law of tragedies: we both know that you are never going to do that.

I've legit gotten to the point where I no longer know if I have a possible sleeping disorder or if I'm forcing myself to stay awake to ungodly hours just because why not and the lack of sleep seems fun.

I'm pretty sure at one point in life I really did have a sleeping disorder because of all the stress I put myself under and and even after crying myself to "sleep" I'd be wide awake. However it seems as thought now days I'm more less just staying up because as said before, why not. I know it's not good but hey so is stress but the world gives us that on a daily basis.

I've finally figured out an argument that convinces coding tech-bros that AI art is bad.

Got into a discussion today (actually a discussion, we were both very reasonable and calm even through I felt like committing violence) with a tech-bro-coded lady who claimed that people use AI in coding all the time so she didn't see why it mattered if people used AI in art.

Obviously I repressed the surge of violence because that would accomplish nothing. Plus, this lady is very articulate, the type who makes claims and you sit there thinking no that's wrong it must be but she said it so well you're kind of just waffling going but, no, wait-- so I knew I had to get this right if I was gonna come out of this unscathed.

The usual arguments about it being about the soul of it and creation fell flat, in fact she was adamant that anyone who believed that was in fact looking down at coding as an art form as she insisted it is. Which, sure, you can totally express yourself through coding. There's a lot more nuance as to the differences but clearly I was not going to win this one.

The other people I was with (literally 8 people anti-ai against her, but you can't change the mind of someone who doesn't want to listen and she just kept accusing us of devaluing coding as an art) took over for I kid you not 15 minutes while I tried desperately to come up with a clear and articulate way to explain the difference to her. They tried so many reasonable arguments, coding being for a function ("what, art doesn't serve a function?") coding being many discrete building blocks that you put together differently, and the AI simply provides the blocks and you put it together yourself ("isn't that what prompt building is") that it's bad for the environment ("but not if it's used for capitalism, hm?" "Yeah literally that's how capitalism works it doesn't care about the environment" she didn't like that response)

But I finally got it.

And the answer is: It's not about what you do, it's about what you claim to be.

Imagine that someone asks an AI to write a code and, by some miracle, it works perfectly without them having to tweak it---which is great because they couldn't tell you what a single solitary thing in that code means.

Now imagine this person, with their code that they don't know how it works, goes and applies to be a coder somewhere, presenting this AI code as proof that they're qualified.

Should they be hired?

She was horrified, of course. Of course they shouldn't be. They're not qualified. They can't actually code, and even if by some miracle they did have an AI successfully write a flawless code for every issue they came across that wouldn't be their code, you could hire any shmuck on the street to do that, no reason to pay someone like they're creating something.

When actual engineers use AI what they do is get some kind of base, which they then go though and check for problems and then if they find any they fix them, and add on to the base code with their own knowledge instead of just trying different prompt after prompt until they randomly come across one that works.

People who generate code like this don't usually call themselves engineers. They're people who needed a bit of code and didn't have the knowledge to generate it, and so used a resource.

And there you go. There are people who have none of the skills of artists, they don't practice, they don't create for themselves. When they feed the prompt to the AI they then don't just use the resulting image as a reference point for their own personal masterpiece, and if they don't like it they don't have the skills to change it---they simply try another prompt, and do that until they get something they like.

These people are calling themselves artists.

Not only that, these people are bringing the AI generated thing to interviews, and they are getting hired, leaving people who slave over their craft out of the job.

And that is the difference, for the tech bros who think AI art isn't a big deal.

Blaise: You need a hobby.

Pansy: I have a hobby.

Blaise: Creating scenarios in your head of you and Y/n are together isn’t a hobby.

Pansy: You’re right. It’s a profession and I excel at my job.

an eternal summer with you.

Where Sousuke and Makoto go on a date to the Churaumi Aquarium.

(also read this lovely story about the residents of this aquarium by Hwei)

Haru fucking broke my heart in this episode.

From the beginning of the anime, we know Haru loves the water, he loves swimming free, he truly doesn’t care about his time or being scouted but I feel like - in this episode - it’s the first time that we truly saw that.

Haru has been lately put under a lot of pressure, what does he want to do next year ? Does he wants to go pro ? Will he accept the scouts many offers ? Will he and his friends win the relay this year ? Although he didn’t give two shits about being scouted or not, the fact that he was, the fact that many people think he has a great talent, that people are counting on him, that he’s being called the pride of Iwatobi High School, that made it all real for him, serious, it made swimming serious.

And Haru doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want the pressure, he doesn’t want to think about his immenient future, he doesn’t want to swin to for someone else, Haru only swims free, he only swims for himself and his friends. 

This is why he stopped in the middle of the race because Haru swims because he wants to, not because he has to and especially not to impress someone else. Being put in this situation, under this stress, literallymade him feel like he couldn’t swim anymore, like he wasn’t free anymore. You can even see it as he swims, at the beginning the water is clear like usual but soon and it becomes dark, dark like when Sousuke swims because now, swimming because as painful for Haru because of the stress as it is for Sousuke because of his shoulder. 

This scene was as powerful as it was heartbreaking because he Haru can’t swim freely, he won’t swim at all.