I Cannot Put Into Words How Much This Line From The Fifteen Light Novel Means To Me.

I still think about the fact that when Dazai got captured by the Port Mafia, not only did no one in the Agency worry about him, Kunikida made him write a report on it when he got back.

Which only makes me wonder how often this happens that it's become standard procedure to write reports after returning from being captured by the enemy.

Sometimes, I wonder what the Agency's actual job is.

Every so often Ashihara makes it abundantly obvious that Borders fighting force is purely made up of teenagers and young adults. And I Love It.

They're all so goofy...

Bsd is such an interesting subset of series to me, because it's the type of series where, if you like it, we can sit here for hours and hours talking about the all the characters, the depth, the trauma, the emotion, the significance in the coats, the yin yang symbolism, "away with you, you fool," skk, etc.

But if you don't like it, then you will think it's a badly written silly little detective anime, and I cannot convince you otherwise.

*121 spoilers*

oh ok so we are actually going to acknowledge the Dazai phantom in the room I just thought we we'd let him chill and grant him residency didn't think we'd start to ask questions like why. Why has Atsushi been hallucinating a man this whole time.

I'm trying to prove a point.

FOUND FAMILY COMMITING WAR CRIMES FOR EACH OTHER.

Seriously, how are there people who don't see them as a found family? They're literally the most wholesome part of the series. They better be reunited soon, and I want an entire episode dedicated to the afterparty.

"Kunikida is alive. If he died, there's no way I wouldn't have sensed it. Not just Kunikida either. As long as at least one agency member remains alive... They will never stop resisting. This battle will be won by my team."

Hi! Please pay for my next therapy bill.

Rest of the comic is under the cut, because LONG :0

Also! Content warnings for body horror, guns, blood(although in black and white) and just...horror in general tbh

Operation "Fall of the Hooded Hawk": For situations where one half of skk has to shoot without having clear vision, and relies on the direction of their partner. In this case, Chuuya was giving Dazai coordinates of where to fire by tapping against his ear. (It's kind of like a trust fall)

I scripted a whole followup conversation with more explanation of what exactly the mirror was, and just general context, but this comic has gotten so long that I'm gonna write that as a short scene in prose, because it's mostly dialogue and if I try to draw it all then I think my hands will secede from my body lol — I'll probably be able to get that done in the next couple of days. But in the meantime, thanks for reading! :D

(3/5/24 edit: Followup convo is done!)

"Akutagawa is Atsushi's foil" yeah but you know who else is?

Dazai.

Atsushi and Dazai are really good parallels in a way that doesn't ever get talked about. Atsushi saved Dazai from dying in the moment that he decided he was going to live. Everything Atsushi does, everything that drives him, is his utter desire to live. Sure, sometimes he may doubt his own right to do so, but to him, life is the most beautiful thing he wants to be worthy of.

Dazai, on the other hand, is driven by his desire to die. He searches for a way out, even if he never goes through with it. He doesn't see the value of life, not in him and not in most others.

That's one of the things that attracted Odasaku to him, and now Atsushi. Because as much as Dazai never valued life, he values people who value life. Chuuya, Odasaku, Atsushi, even Ango he chose to befriend when learning that he was writing the names of all the dead. That's why Atsushi is so precious—it's someone he could learn from, maybe to find his own will to live.

The boy who desires life while his mentor desires death. And their relationship is somehow one of the most wholesome in the whole series.

I need Atsushi and Chuuya to meet before bsd ends, because I just know they'd be besties.

Like, forgetting about all the deep thematic schtuff about them both being selfless and self-sacrificial, Chuuya would absolutely love the kid a) because he's strong and b) because he does not take Dazai's crud.

Like, Atsushi is by far the sassiest when it comes to Dazai, and with every comment calling him out, Chuuya would love Atsushi a little more. And also because he's Atsushi and anyone who doesn't love Atsushi deserves to be burnt at the stake just on principle.

I also think Atsushi would like Chuuya because he's very much not like Akutagawa. And, he'd be able to sniff the suffering in him in a second (as he does), and would befriend him in an instant. They would be the most chaotic duo ever and I will sell my soul for this to happen.