I Check Tumblr On My Phone Like I Read The Newspaper And I Am Devastated

This is so real.

I litterally can't go a second without thinking about drawing or homestuck😭

Like I don't think I could live without either of them and the idea of me in any job outside of selling art in the future genuinely upsets me. If someone insults homestuc or art (either mine or made by someone else) I get so upset like as if they insulted me PERSONALLY, like they were saying IM bad/awful and not just the media. It's so weird😭😭

I think that special interests are actually a disabling part of autism

I'm tired of people (allistic and autistic) saying that it's bad that special interests are 'pathologised' because passions are good. This is because that comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of what a special interest is. Special interests are not just things you like a lot, they are 'highly fixated interests abnormal in intensity or focus'. For me (and pretty much everyone with autism I've asked about it), this means that special interests are basically your whole life. For me, my special interest is ASD. I think about autism all the time. It's the only thing I find interesting, and every thought I have can be linked to autism in some way. This is pretty disabling to me because it makes it way harder to talk about and do stuff that isn't related to my special interest.

It makes making friends really hard because, on top of my social challenges, I also don't know how to talk about anything other than my special interest, and I will bring the conversation back to my special interest if I feel comfortable around someone, and just not talk to someone if I don't feel comfortable around them. It also makes doing the things I need to do in life (such as doing work for uni, taking care of myself, cleaning my living space, etc) so much harder because my brain doesn't think it's interesting in the slightest and therefore I have absolutely no motivation to do them.

Maybe my special interests are more extreme than other people's. I wasn't diagnosed with a level, I just got a diagnosis of ASD, but I'm probably on the higher end of level 1, possibly on the lower end of level 2 but I can't really figure that out for myself. However, the ASD diagnostic criteria in both the ICD-11 and DSM-V state that your traits of autism must be causing 'clinically significant impairment' (i.e. they must be disabling) for you to qualify for an ASD diagnosis.

oh right yeah 4/13 uhh. congrats guys happy birthday

hey-i found another thing that's really interesting.

so like, june is wrong, 8ut more right than ever. and jade is right 8ut more wrong than ever. it is recommended listening that you put on free8ird while reading this, as it is what was listened to on loop while writing this. here i'll even give you a youtu8e link. https://youtu.be/0LwcvjNJTuM ok so like, even though i picked (YOU ARE COMING) first time around, (YOU ARE NOT) is so f8cking interesting. i've read and reread it multiple times solely for the fun of it. i'm a sucker for drama.

let's narrow down this medit8tion to the two characters in question. jade and june. they're the most interesting in this exchange o8viously. jade is staunchly against going to the meat timeline to let the kids go to sgrur8, anti-meat. while june is jazzed a8out the idea of a fun adventure. pro-meat.

8ut there's a hidden feature of this convers8tion. can this adventure 8e good at all. no and yes. reflected 8y jade and june respectively.

jade thinks this adventure's gonna suck. at 8est it'll 8e a fun lil' romp that'll just dump them out 8ack where they started with no real change made. at worst it's gonna 8e damaging, traumatizing, and still spit them 8ack out with the pro8lems they had when they went into it.

and june thinks the adventure is where they all thrive. that domestic life is the worst possi8le thing and it sucks and they kill people if are left to their own devices. "too much freedom is a 8ad thing."

let's start with where jade is right. jade is easily right 8ecause yeah no, june is kind of a directionless dimwit who doesn't really know what she wants. she does not have the tools or language to even define what she wants, much less achieve it. anything she sets her mind to falls apart rapidly. a light flowing 8reeze of a person.

a stark contrast to the rest of the candy cast, who i would say know exactly what they want. jane; genocide. karkat; not genocide. rose; suicide. roxy; keep the peace no matter the cost which includes the cost of a genocide. goals they may not 8e a8le to perfectly vocalize 8ut are a8le to follow and achieve on earth c.

this gets into why june is kind of wrong, 8ut mostly right without realizing it. cuz she's a dummy who can't vocalize what she's thinking properly and will carry these pro8lems with her no matter where she goes. 8UT!

june NEEDS this adventure. she needs it 8ad. she has had 20 f8cking years in domestic life, no change has 8een made. the metaphorical second she chose domestic life, she was shackled into the role of father and hus8and. then divorced hus8and. if she was going to transition in a domestic life, she would've done it already.

domestic life shackles june eg8ert. the home itself is what makes her stuck. it traps her. this LIFE traps her woefully. the circumstances and everyone's expect8tions on her, literally the sh8t jade's talking a8out where she has to "suck it up for the sake of others" is choking the life out of her soul.

do you remem8er the closest june's ever gotten to cracking her egg? cuz i remem8er it clearly.

IT WAS WHEN SHE WAS ON A FUNNY LITTLE GUIDED ADVENTURE WITH VRISKA! where like 80% of our understanding and reading of june comes from. where her NAME comes from!

june is a 8reath player for corns sake! adventure is where she 8elongs. changes and danger are her nature. as an heir she is the literal em8odiment, the inheritor of freedom itself. domestic life is choking her out. f8cking off with vriska on another adventure is enrichment. it's the only hope she has of 8ecoming something 8etter. like she tells jade, she is literally TRYING to change. leaving is her attempt to change. the environment of sgrur8 and the meat timeline incites change.

and we reach why jade is so, so f8cking wrong. with one of the most f8cked lines in the entire upd8, like a knife to my gut and heart it's 8een stuck there.

june's own happiness is not really a factor for her. june's own 8etterment is not a factor to her. and she couches it in language implying it's for the sake of the children. 8ut it's-it's not for the children. the children were never made for their own sake.

vrissy is the poster child of this fact. she was taken in the hopes of 8asically doing vriska 8ut right so she doesn't turn out like vriska (failure, vrissy literally helped vriska realize she can still 8e vriska without all the trauma and catholic guilt hanging over her. it's very o8vious vrissy is a serket like all the rest. you can't take the vriska out of the serket.)

yiffy as karkat seems eager to imply, is the result of jade 8asically making a f8cking ship kid with rose as the ena8ler to this fantasy 8ecause dave didn't actually want a kid.

and she never actually deny's this was a factor for her. and then she is the most a8solute desper8 one to avoid sgrur8 for the sake of her child 8eing "normal" while yiffy as an individual, o8viously doesn't like her mom. was kept a f8cking secret from the world, pro8a8ly never socialize well, and has dog features. i don't think yiffy is the real factor here. i think jade is projecting her desires onto yiffy. i think jade desper8tly wants to vicariously live her life through her daughter. i think

"she'll never 8e normal" stung further than just insulting her daughter. that's just opinion and specul8tion on my part though, 8ased on how she f8cking named her daughter yiffy so she could fantasize/roleplay having a kid with dave.

8UT HEY! let's talk a8out something i can say with 888% certainty!

she's a massive hypocrite. calling out june for not knowing what she wants, when what, jade's plan to unf8ck the timeline is to just stay and never change? cuz it's not a8out changing for the 8etter? it's a8out the children? when these f8ckers haven't even 8een here a century and already have ruined the lives of so many people, including their own!

jade alone has f8cked her daughter up immensely, ena8led the destruction of kanaya and rose's marriage, dave and karkat were misera8le 8eing with her. dave even so much to the point he yeeted himself out of the universe the old fashioned way. and jade herself isn't even happy. to say changing herself, everyone's self, is unimportant, an adult move or not, is just plain dum8.

cuz without changing yourself, it doesn't matter if you go on an adventure or stay in your house all day. you'll end up with the same person who made those mistakes in the first place. and candy is not a land of change.

roxy never transitioned. karkat is still trying to 8e a warhero instead of just living a calm life and going home LIKE HE WANTED TO!. rose is the same self destructive self h8ing girl she was on the meteor. june is the same man she entered the world as. jane ended up the same 8atterwitch she was groomed into 8eing at a young age. why do you think all the ghosts ended up in there?! the 8IGGEST creatures of unchanging nature. NOTHING CAN GET 8ETTER IN A WORLD WHERE NOTHING CAN CHANGE! IT'S JUST A MATTER OF SPINNING OUR WHEELS UNTIL WE DIE! AND IS THAT THE RIGHT OPTION!? IS THAT THE RESPONSI8LE, CORRECT THING TO DO!?

well, like a certain someone once said. i know my lim8s. people who wish to wallow in unchanging misery will do so regardless of what anyone else says or does. the real question is. are they going to drag down the ones who want to change with them?

june may 8e immature, and ungrown up. 8ut that makes her more a8le to change than anyone.

thank you for coming to another one of my vristalks, heed my words or know woes for the rest of your days. let's see if i can pop out another 8anger for the masses!

unfortunately i can only draw myself and homestuck

Happy 15th anniversary of what is technically Vriska Serket's first on-panel appearance.

Haiii for the NPD playlist thingy I think 'Brutus' by the Buttress is great ( heads up she might be a radfem tho so you can use local files instead ) also 'Super Soaked' and 'Black Hole' by Be Your Own Pet !!!!

( these are based off my npd experiences which are tainted by my bpd too so I get it if you think they dont fit )

Epic thank you <33

(I love Brutchress but I actually had no idea she may be radfem so thank you for telling me (・・;) <3)

I cannot understand people who act like Vriska did nothing wrong because of course she did stuff wrong! She is girlfailure who thinks she is a girlboss and tries to manipulate everyone into giving her the spotlight so she can prove herself. Her being full of herself and doing bad shit that IS wrong is what made her enjoyable!

On that note I can't wait to get the Vriska plushie so I can slam her through a 8asket8all hoop.

(Obligatory SBAHJ edit)

Weren't we here before them 😭❓️❓️

(Don't kill me if I'm wrong please lmao)

why do antis love harassing people so much lol