You Probably Don’t Need To Worry About Him Stabbing You. Have You Seen How Short He Is? Just Pick Him

You should give him a pet fish or something! Like a clownfish or an axolotl or a salamander or a frog or something like that

!!! I see you! You're not slick! He's scared shitless of axolotls!!..also, we have Plenty of pets

He's scared of the cat, scared of the malamute Shepard, sort of chill with the Saint Shepard, hates the forest puppy (she licks him too much) and barely likes the chow Shepard ...not a great idea

he is the most powerful dorito in the universe, he might look fine now but thats because he's not at full dorito power. best way to neutralize him is to keep him calm and appeased (not causing a huge fuss). he's probably just studying you also. humans are probably intreging to a all powerful dorito like him

I wonder if dorito is like a slur to him. I think he's more like a corn chip. He doesn't have the seasoned bits of a dorito.

I think he's silly, studying someone as boring like me. It's probably something else!

Do you know the best ways to keep him calm?

IF I GET CALLED BILLY ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BLOW.

Awww, poor baby. You wanna snack, Billy?

ONLY IF YOU HAVE DORITOS.

yeah, without the crust. they are just better that way. i think he would really appreciate it. make him feel at home and such

He liked em!! Side note, I think doing things he likes makes him stare extra. Strange stuff.

Starting to reconsider scaring him...he seems scared enough

He's awake! And very frantic!!! He looks kinda scared! Should I feel bad...😭

( @squidflavoredsoup !!!!!)

bill: What’s a controversial opinion you have that you’d like to share?

MOST OF MY OPINIONS ARE CONTREVERSIAL CONSIDERING I LIKE RIPPING TEETH OUT OF ANIMAL MOUTHS. MOST OF YOU FREAKS LOVE DEAR OLD AXOLOTL, DONTCHA? TAKE THIS FOR CONTREVERSIAL; THAT FRILLY MORON IS GOOD FOR NOTHING BUT CAUSING TROUBLE AND COSMIC ANNOYANCE.

WHO EVEN NEEDS DUMB SALAMANDERS LIKE THEM.

if she's going to get groceries, then i can guarantee you'll get to have some nice spaghetti later (with fresh parm ofc)

GOOD. I WOULDNT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

..IF I GO WITH HER, I COULD ESCAPE.