HUGE UPDATE

HUGE UPDATE

The surgery is done and it was a outpatient surgery so I was in for almost two hours, apparently I was there a bit too long and they won't say anything why. So let me tell you everything that happened, I am a bit traumatized after the surgery and it's not because of the pain or anything.

So again, we woke up 5 in the morning for me to shower my body and hair, left around 6 to go all way to the city to the hospital. Traffic was a bit crazy but we got there a bit late but they got me in fast. I was actually almost having a panic attack on the walk inside, elevator freak me out, how the car parking building is so low and we own a suburban. But when we were call in, the nurses were nothing but experience on their job and extremely nice to me. I soon told them that I am autistic and I was really nervous so they were gentle. I personally am afraid of needles but I only had three of sleep last night cause I was so scared so I was a bit tired but they made me feel safe, I joke around and talk with them, one of them gave me a donation bag with activities to calm me more, they were understanding to me. Soon, I was transferred to the waiting room to enter the operating room. I was still scared that I won't wake up but I want to put a brave face for my mom before they took me away. When they prep me in the bed, I was already tired from the lack of sleep that I fell asleep before they can hook me into the anesthesia.

When I woke up, my eyes were watery and I can hear myself crying, I didn't remember where I was or why I was there for a while but the "nurse" taking care of me was telling me to go back to sleep cause I awoke up as soon I was transported to the recovering room. I thought and told that I won't have dreams so I have no problem during the sleep, I have problem sleeping that I won't sleep at all cause the nightmares are extremely painful, but I got a nightmare during it and it made me more scared. The nurse was extremely rude, saying that I need to stop crying and that they can't let my mom in if I "scared" her off.

People need to understand something, the first nurses that prep me for the surgery understood this, I have separation anxiety from my family, imagine waking up to a bed and don't remember where you are, why your arms are in extreme pain, and where your family who you are so close is at. You have a nurse yelling at you to stop crying and being a baby.

I was having a fucking panic attack and an episode during this whole thing, I just wanted to see my mom, in my head, I thought I was dead and wanted to see her one more time but the lady keep yelling that I wasn't dead and I need to stop crying like a baby. This woman may not know my history but it's not nice to say that to a drugged up panicking teenager. When I say saw my mom, I grab her hand the whole time cause I was scared of the lady and I'm happy to see my mom alright. (I'm actually crying as I'm writing this, this really hurt me more than I thought)

While the lady still act the same with my mom there and left for a second, my mom was piss and wanted to slap her. I was so drugged up that I cry again that I was scared of the lady, apparently I'm more emotional when I'm fucked up. Soon, they move me to a different room and my sister trade with my mom to give me a stuff animal I brought to calm me more down, my sister witnesses me when the lady and another nurse made fun of me about what I hate to eat. I didn't like coconut milk or jelly so they said that they bet that I like chocolate cake which I'm dumbly said yes cause it's very true I love sweets and chocolate. My sister didn't say anything but when we left, I was still sad after everything. I'm just glad I don't stay in there anymore.

I just want to say that it was not what I guess was going to happen but it saddens me that there are people that are so stuck up about themselves and that she didn't care that my sister and mom see her actions. I'm going to meet the doctor in two weeks about the armpits and I'm staying in the house cause my family didn't want my wounds to get infected from the virus here, luckily there is no case about it in my town (Update: I just jinxed myself there..there are about 30 cases here and we are kind of quarantine in our house..) but people are panicking that my sister might not have enough things for food, diapers, and toilet papers. I agreed that everyone are panicking so bad that they don't care about other lives, not leaving some things for my sister or other people like us. But I am not going to step on that drama, people just need to remember to clean themselves and stop acting like idiots over something that they can stay away from, it's like people don't want to shower and be dirty and nasty. Luckily, we have a clean freak grandma that comes by to clean the house in bleach.

HUGE UPDATE

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I will be gone for a few day, hell months cause I'm am going into emergency surgery. They will call me a 24 hours notice but we don't know what day but it have to be within this week. I don't think I will able to move my arms but we'll seen.

I will post another note about this personal problem and it related to the surgery. I will explain more detail on that post but for now, be patient.

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5 years ago

So last and this week have been crazy, meltdowns that affected my time on the drawings. And a personal problem that happened on Saturday that I will be quiet for a few days or more, maybe a month.

Let me explain, some people in Wattpad knows a bit that I had a problem with my armpit that hurted so bad that I stop writing and moving my arms for a few days. What I didn't continue on saying, I had these problems for more than two years. Long ago, I had this pimple-like bumps under my arms for a few weeks and I never thought about it, even if I was close off the outside and I stay in my room.

To warn you, I'm an autistic teenager who suffer depression, anxiety, diabetes, and many issues. Basically, I'm a very sick person who have many mental health problems. I like to be in my room most of the days because my anxiety keep me away from the outside world when my family goes shopping. There are some times where I am happy to go out and stretch out my legs.

Anyways, I didn't think much about the lumps, even it's weird that I stay in the room yet it came out of nowhere. It wasn't until a few days later, it open into holes, throwing pus and blood goo that dirty any towel within that day. It even stink the room from the smell but the worst was that it gave me huge pain when I move a muscle on my arms. It last a few weeks before it close up and leaves scars under my armpits but in a few days, my other armpit started to repeat that cycle of pain. When it close up, my other arm open up again, repeating all of the years. No pain killers stop the pain for a day, only hours before it sting back again. We went to emergency room more than three times, never telling me what it was and just to "air it out" but they also have me Cephalexin or Keflex pills (was the first thing they gave me when I came in the second time) but I found out that I'm "immune" to it so there was almost nothing to help me.

Until a year ago, my mom took me to my primary doctor instead and they said that I might have Hidradenitis suppurativa. When they send me to a Dermatologist, she said a few words about it and related to me so much, she only have us a pill to stop the flare up (the shocking pain in the arms and muscles). It made me sick and have extreme diarrhea for weeks so my mom decides to stop giving it to me and I got a lot better. The flares up stop for a year but just last week, it created three balls and made a huge lump and when it popped in my sleep, I just cover it with a bandage to stop the blood. When the next night came in, I was have a huge meltdown from the stress of homework I missed (that week before that, I didn't went to school cause the whole household got sick and no one could drive, I'm homeschooled) and the pain came in more extreme than before, my mom took me to the emergency room again but this time, the doctor saw me in pain and told me it was Hidradenitis suppurativa which we knew but he noticed I was really young and sick for this so he wants me to get into surgery to get rid of it which we didn't knew that can be a option until now. We change doctors because they were shit from the beginning and refused to take the hospital referral for an emergency surgery.

So just yesterday, I went to see the new doctor and he sent a note for an urgent surgery to the office, they said that they will send a call for a 24 hour warning to meet the surgeon but they don't know the date it will be for it but it will be this week.

This morning, the doctors who going to do the surgery approved me but they need the notes from the hospital emergency room and see me. So it will happened tomorrow or the next day before that. I seen video of the procedure they do and it looks like I won't able to use my arms for a while. I want this so bad, the freedom of the one thing I have. I may be suffering with others things but I want to move my arms freely to do my drawings and writing my stories. I also scared of the outcome of it after the surgery, also I don't want to wake up in the middle of it.

Thanks for reading this, if you have any questions about this, ask away!


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4 years ago

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!Attention All Tumblrs!

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5 years ago

Hello everyone! Today is a very special day to me, May 1 is my..BIRTHDAY!

Hint: Last year, I had a quinceanera ;)

Anyway, for me personally, I want to say Happy Birthday to H2ODelirious since his birthday is tomorrow! Plus, he is my favorite youtuber that I feel inspired by him, hiding my identity and very little facts about myself. I promise myself that when the day come when he comfortable to reveal his face, then I will too!

Also as a gift for me, can everyone comment happy birthday to me? You can add stuff for it but that can make my day!

And my gift to you, or what I call me showering my works to you.

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They made be unfinished but I want to show what I was working on this whole time, teethes and hands are really hard!


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  • zicknette
    zicknette reblogged this · 5 years ago
zicknette - Zick_Nette
Zick_Nette

Hello! My name is ZickNette but call me Zick, your choice. I am a Wattpad writer and I have no idea why I'm here but I like art. I might post my art works and books that I write so you can read them! I can answer questions but will not take art requests since I'm still learning and have a lot on my plate. Please don't steal anything from here or I'll find you and make your life hell....Thank you!

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