A Little Angst - Blog Posts

This reminds me of the song don't hold your breath by Nicole... 💬📏📐📍📌

Break Up/Make Up (Katsuki Bakugou x f!Reader)

Words: 2.5k

Minors DNI (18+)

Tw: smut little plot, break up, make up sex, soft sex, oral (f!receiving), confessions, jealousy, complicated feelings, a bit toxic, college!au

Summary: You and Katsuki have have been dating for almost a year. You kept it a secret. It wasn't easy dating him but you made it work. But one day he says things that give you no choice.

Note: this doesn't have much of an end

Katsuki just wants to wrap his arms around you. Today was hard and you are always the balm smoothing him out again.

You have been a couple for almost a year now and besides Kiri and Iida nobody knows. The two of you almost slipped up today. You got into some trouble during a villain attack and Katsuki rushed in to help and hugged you not knowing the others were all there but Bakugou was quick to act.

He told you he'd come over and he didn't think much of you leaving him on read but now he is in front of a locked door and suddenly it all tastes bitter. Are you ignoring him?

"Hey, open up," he says and knocks again.

"I don't want to see you," you call from the other side of the door. "Get the hint."

"Open the door before I knock it down!" Katsuki feels his pulse rising. What is your problem? Why are you like this all of a sudden?

You open the door and he bursts in to see you standing there with crossed arms and sore cheeks. 

What made you cry? His face softens and he means to reach for you but you flinch away.

"Leave!" You just whisper sharply, coldly. It feels like knives on his heart.

"What the fuck happened?" He utters, completely in the dark and you just scoff. "For fucks sake what's your damn problem? Just talk to me."

"That you don't even know is–" you shake your head. "I don't want to be with you anymore, Bakugou. We're done."

"Bakugou? Fuck that! Tell me why you act so fucking– shitty!?" He feels his throat tighten with unease. Did you just break up with him? No. No.

"Well, maybe when even Eijirou says you are going too far then… just fucking stop," you blink back tears.

"But I didn't mean–"

"Didn't you?" You meet his eyes now. "Then why use all my insecurities and traumas? You went too far and I am done! I'm just done with this! Fuck off!"

Katsuki's mouth falls open. He is in absolute shock. His heart is pounding so loudly he is sure you can hear it shatter. "I had to keep up our cover!" He just doesn't understand. His voice shakes. "I didn't–"

"I don't care," you sigh, defeated. "I don't care anymore. I can't do this… keeping this a secret… your hot and cold… I am not happy," you shrug then move to your bed, laying down with your back to him. You are crying, trying to hold your sobs in. You feel so dumb… so hurt. He didn't have to shoot so low. He didn't have to say those awful things.

Katsuki is trembling. It isn't anger this time like it is 99% of the time when he shook; it is fear. Is it over? No. He can't accept that. He can't just let that happen. You make his life so much better.

"(Y/N)... what can I do? I am sorry. I am sorry! You hear me!"

"You can leave," you breathe.

And Katsuki knows he has to but it is so hard. The tightness in his chest is suffocating. He feels so helpless. He feels so weak.

A moment later Kirishima opens his door to see his friend with tears welling at his lash line. And he isn't surprised at all.

Katsuki went too far.

》》》》

You didn't go to class the next day. You got a doctor's note after explaining to Recovery Girl that you just needed a day to pick up the pieces. You returned to the dorms and fell face first into your bed. Where to even start? You should eat but the lump in your throat is so restricting that your appetite is lost. You should gather his stuff and put it in his room then you save yourself the interaction. You need to get rid of these feelings somehow or they will choke you for weeks. Write them out? Burn them? Scream them? You want to scream, want to undo all of it. You can't look at him the same anymore.

You really thought you could make it. You really thought despite it all you and Katsuki belong together. Everything was right until it wasn't. You understood why he wanted it to be a secret and of course you know how he is. But it was just too much. Especially with what he said.

Katsuki is staring at your empty seat and it fills him with anger. You can't avoid him. Is that your plan? It is stupid. It is ridiculous. He wants to jump up and get you. He wants to do something! But Eijirou told him you need space which is probably right. Katsuki can't think straight right now. His head is spinning. His heart is throbbing. He isn't one to sit still. He isn't one to just wait. He does things. He needs to fix things with you. This couldn't be it. He loves you. He really fucking does and he thought you knew that. You had to know! You are the only one who can make him feel soft… who can make him laugh and be gentle.

Katsuki gets up without a word to Mr. Aizawa or anyone and walks to the dorms. 

He does not bother knocking and just storms in but the second he stands in front of you he regrets it. You are folding up his clothes, putting away the small gifts he has given you over the months. No.

"What the fuck?!" You simply shout. 

"Can we talk," he presses out. "Please."

"When you storm in like this you don't even give me a choice!"

"Can we please just talk, (Y/N)!" He is pleading. "Fuck! I can't lose you! Please, (Y/N)," his voice is soft, raspy.

"You have to respect that I don't want to talk right now, Bakugou–"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Stop being disrespectful to the boundaries I am setting!"

That is what Eijirou said. He only makes it worse, doesn't he? "I am sorry! Fuck!" He yells out and hides his face so you can't see the tears. "I am sorry," he whispers and leaves.

》》》》

Weeks pass and it is ridiculous how the both of you deteriorate. You both lost weight, tried to hide the puffy eyes and deep shadows, you both became colder and quiet.

Everyone notices. There is no denying it. You are both so utterly heartbroken. Katsuki even talked to his mom, explaining the whole thing to her sobbing like a baby.

He wrote you a letter and when you didn't react to it, he didn't try again after that. It was all he could do. You aren't mean to him during school and act basically just like before since you kept it a secret anyway but Katsuki knows it isn't the same. He cannot hold you anymore, he can't touch you anymore and see you unfiltered and that hurts.

He doesn't give up hope though. Sometimes he catches you looking at him, smiling a little even. He won't give up hope. Not yet. He loves you and you love him… that wouldn't just go away?

But then he hears you giggle and laugh at something Shinsou says in the hallway one afternoon and his heart shatters.

》》》》

He tries to ignore it, weeks and months pass. But it is like he sees you and him constantly. Sees you and that purple haired fool! He almost forgot himself when Shinsou reached out to get a bug out of your hair one day at lunch. No. He isn't allowed to be that close to you. Why aren't you trying to hide it? Shinsou walks into a room and your eyes can only see him— no! Bakugou is just imagining it… is just reading into it. You'd never go for a guy like that. You still love him.

It all tips over when one day he walks to the dorm and sees you and Shinsou sitting on a blanket in the greenery, him leaning against a tree and you resting your head on his thigh.

Katsuki's hand is oozing and any wrong move would have blown up the whole place. He feels physically sick, can't even breathe as his chest collapses and his whole head melts. No. No. Just because he let his tongue get the better of him. It isn't fair. He did not mean a single letter of those awful words that day. 

He waits for you and slips into the elevator before the door closes. Your face goes pale and yes! You should feel awful. You should apologize to him for making him so miserable.

"Hey," you simply say and lean against the mirror, thinking nothing much of it but then he presses the emergency stop.

"Why would you– that guy?!" He can't keep his thoughts in line. He is seething. He wants you to stop torturing him.

"What?" You straighten up.

"Shinsou?! You know he can never be me! He could never love you better than me!"

Oh. You and Shinsou are just friends. You'd consider him your best friend actually… surprisingly. Aizawa asked you to train him in close combat because you've been a martial artist your entire life. But Katsuki is behaving like a little boy throwing a tantrum again and if the shoe fits and all. "I am glad he's not you. That's the whole point," you say, annoyed.

Your words shoot to kill and he spins around, caging you to the mirror. His eyes are even more crimson but underneath all his anger there is simply frustration… desperation.

"You fucking serious," he growls. "I never meant anything to you, did I?! You just needed an excuse!"

"You're acting like a fucking kid!"

"You're the one that couldn't even talk to me! I wrote you a letter! A fucking letter!"

You laugh in his face and he can't hold back, grabbing your cheeks harshly. He squeezes, your lips forming a pout as your eyes stay locked hard on his.

"You're so stupid!"

"Shut your mouth."

The words that loll off your tongue are a challenge, an invitation, "make me, Kats."

His lips are on yours not a heartbeat later. He'd convince you. He'd show you all the love he had to give you.

He moans into your mouth, not able to hold it in. He missed your lips so much, missed tasting you, almost forgot the sensation. The kiss has your lips swollen and tender, your mouths opening wide to take the other in, tongues gliding against one another until the kiss is just a mess of saliva. Your hands are in his hair, tugging harshly as he roames your body with his. The elevator moves again and you have no idea how you make it into your room. Your clothes are on the floor in the matter of seconds.

You push him onto the bed, pinning his wrist to the mattress as you leave hickey after hickey, bite mark after bite mark on his neck and shoulder until he is whining and trying to fight you. Katsuki buckes his hips up but you are hovering, depriving him of touching you as well as feeling your weight on him.

"I'm still mad," you husk into his ear.

Katsuki is malfunctioning by now. He wants you so badly. He needs you more than he needs air right now.

"Your letter was hardly an apology, you know."

He now flips your position, studying your face as he cages you underneath him. There is hurt in your eyes. "I am not good with words," he rasps against your lips, kissing you again but softly this time then traveling his lips down your body as his hands grab handfuls of your soft flesh. He missed you. Every last bit of you. He thought he was going insane.

"I am sorry," he says, kissing that spot on your tummy that makes your brain malfunction. "I am sorry," he says again and kisses your inner thigh, running his rough hands on your legs. "I'll make love to you until you believe me," he whispers. "Fuck all my love into your body."

You hold your breath for a second at his words then you nod, head falling back against the mattress as his tongue presses flat against your vulva, licking from your entrance to your clit. You are not sure if you moan louder or if he does. Your hands dig into his hair immediately.

"Katsuki," you breathe softly when he takes your clit in his mouth, then works on it just how he knows you like it. You moan, back lifting from the mattress. Your head is spinning like crazy, heart racing quicker. You wanted to tease him a little longer, but now all of that vaporizes. You need him. You miss him so much.

"Katsuki!" You whimper, tugging on his hair and bucking your hips to meet his tongue. "I'm sorry too!" You say in between lewd gasps.

He looks up at you and your eyes locked. Tears are forming on your lash line. Your cheeks are beaming in a deep red. Katsuki doesn't say anything, instead he works his tongue on your cunt harder. Your eyes roll back and he feels how your sweet juice gushes. He is getting drugged by your essence, entirely, he missed your taste so much.

Katsuki pulls back and his finger now slips into your throbbing cunt. "He could never eat you out like I do," he sighs, twirling his tongue across his lips to taste you more. He feels you shudder when he hits your special spot, calloused finger tip massaging the area vigorously. "Admit it."

You can't even breathe, mewling and trying to reach his shoulder. He understands and moves up from where he knelt, meeting your lips in a kiss then your soft eyes.

"We're not…" you whisper, cradling his face. "I am still hung up on my ex, you know. Even if he is an asshole."

His face droops to your shoulder, a relieved sigh making his chest press into yours. You still love him. "I am not done apologizing, baby."

You shake your head. "Need you closer," you wrap your legs around his waist. "Kats, need you inside."

"Okay. Whatever you want," he smiles against your skin, pressing soft kisses down your shoulder. "I missed you too much to deny you anything."

He sinks into you with ease and you wrap your arms around his shoulders, breath hitching. "I missed you too," you whine. You need a moment to adjust to his cock after going so long without it.

"I am so sorry," he whispers against your cheek, moaning softly. He starts to move his hips, rutting forward slowly but deep. His cock drags inside your soft walls with passion while he heaves against your skin. 

"S'sorry," he kisses your cheeks, kisses your lips next, humming softly when you tug on his hair. "I'm sorry."

He fucks you so painfully slow but it is just what you need to mend the wound. Every slow pull and push closes the distance between you.

You cup his cheeks and lift his head so you could look at him. A single tear drops from his eye onto your cheek, mixing with your own salty stream. "I believe you," you whisper. Your hands start to hold him shakily as the knot in your tummy grows.

"I love you," he rasps and picks up his pace a little. Your eyes stay focused on each other. "You hear me, I fucking love you," he groans, digging his fingers into the sheets.

"I love you too," you whimper softly. "Katsuki. Love you–"

You pull him closer, your foreheads touch. You are both close but Katsuki slows down. He doesn't want to let go, wants to keep you as close as possible for longer. You nudge at his chest and he rolls over. Why would he deny you? You ride him with the same slow intensity, gasping in his mouth while cradling his face. Katsuki leaves not an inch of your skin untouched. 

You end up on your desk hours later, eyes still locked as he holds your thighs and plows into you sloppily, leaving hickeys on your shoulder. Your skin has melted together by now, your breaths just whimpers and moans, eyes fighting to stay open.

"Can't–" you claw at his back, leaving even more red lines there. "Kats."

"I know," his hands move up to your face. "Let's cum together."

You nod eagerly, desperately. "I love you," you say, eyes crossing and unfocusing for a moment only to settle back on his with determination.

"I love you too," he whines, holding your face gently. "More than anything. I'll be better. I'll think before I talk. I make you happy."

"Me too," you nod.

You hold him and he holds you. Your body begins to tremble, violently, but you never look away from each other. Both your eyes filled to the brim with adoration and pure love.