Analysis Of My Boy!!! - Blog Posts

redibanni

2 years ago

Spoilers for Cales past and a ss of a few paragraphs of chapter 695

Cale hates when people sacrifice themselves. He hates when they push themselves too hard, especially for him.

Because that’s what happened with Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo, isn’t it?

Cale was supposed to die. They sacrificed themselves for him, and he lived, and now he gets visibly upset when people try to do things that are similar.

What does he think about when he sees people work themselves till they faint? It’s stupid. Not just because it’s not healthy, but because it’s sacrificial. He hates martyrs. He hates it when they’re his friends.

Cale has a weird complex, right? Sacrificing himself left and right, fainting, but not allowing anyone else to do the same? Hypocrite, right?

(Chapter 695)

This is weird, isn’t it? This complete lack of awareness is concerning! It’s almost as if he’s oblivious to the fact that he does the same thing all of the time!

To everyone else, yes, this situation with the crown Prince fainting after using all of his mana is a perfect parallel to Cale using his ancient powers too much and going into a coma.

But Cale doesn’t see his actions in the same light! He really isn’t trying to sacrifice himself 90% of the time! The collateral damage (fainting, bleeding, pain) is usually not part of his prediction, and if it is, it’s more than he expected.

His intentions and thoughts are always about keeping his friends safe, and he’s okay with coughing up a bit of blood to do that! Just a bit, maybe enough that it will look scary but it won’t hurt him in the long run and that’s okay.

If he faints? It wasn’t planned, so it’s not really sacrifice. Maybe a little but he’s selfish enough already, it’s the least he can do, honestly.

When Cale puts himself in danger it’s for selfish reasons. Self-declared selfishness, but that’s how he sees it.

Cale doesn’t sacrifice himself. Everything he does is because he chose to! He chose to. If it doesn’t hurt too bad, he doesn’t consider it as doing much at all. The level of pain he experiences in every situation is his way of determining how much he’s ‘accomplished against his will’ (sacrificed).

Not only that but there are circumstances he must be in to even consider it of consequence to other people. If it doesn’t happen while someone’s in danger, it doesn’t really matter, does it? He doesn’t understand why someone would be asking about his well-being. He doesn’t plan to let anything that happens affect his plans, so there’s no reason for them to worry.

If he’s not on a battlefield, all of the effort he puts in?

(ancient powers) (strengthening his friends) (being in pain and pushing through it) (planning and strategizing) (so, so much more)

It doesn’t count. He is familiar with meticulously and extensively optimizing his time, because as KRS, monsters attack indiscriminately. Being prepared and working hard to be strong is nothing when compared to the battle soon to come, therefore, it doesn’t count as “work.” It’s what is expected. It is the basic standard for what is required to survive.

Where everyone sees Cale working nonstop for weeks and months and years, it’s a normal weekend for him. Those days outside of battle don’t count. He worked like that for 15 years, so much stress is easy for him.

But- why doesn’t he recognize that he pushes himself until he faints? There’s a threshold that he passes where he faints, but he still keeps crossing it?

Well, because he’s the protagonist and- often, our only source of information for what happens in this world- narratively, he tends to stay awake and only faints when the battle is coming to a close, or has just closed. If the battle ends, his presence isn’t of vital importance, so it’s fine if he was unconscious for a little bit. Other times it’s involuntary and a result of his body’s terrible condition or outside forces.

He doesn’t recognize his fainting as sacrificial because as long as the battle ends on a good note and he’s still able to think and plan relatively soon after he wakes up, he hasn’t sacrificed much other than time. He also has Vitality of the Heart, which lets him feel rejuvenated after a ‘nap.’

You see, Cale Henituse is interesting. He doesn’t know how to distinguish being selfish and selfless because being selfless is, in itself, an act of selfishness. When Cale (from the perspective of his friends) ruins his health and runs from battle to battle without resting or thinking about his friends concern— it’s pretty selfish of him.

While everyone else considers him selfless, he thinks of himself as doing the “obvious” amount of work and being selfish too. That much work is expected of him, so it isn’t selfless. It’s all for his own gain, because when everything is over, he’ll be the one going away to slack off in a forest. Ha!He’s seven steps ahead of everyone (and on the verge of collapse).

How trashy.

So to answer the question? Cale doesn’t notice his own sacrifices because he feels that:

1) his intentions remain solely selfish, so fainting and coughing up blood is just something he needs to do to get closer towards his goal.

2) anything that occurs outside of battle does not count as sacrifice because it does not affect how his plans will pan out, and everything he does is just a normal amount of work for him.

3) fainting is not on his list of to-dos, it happens without his consent- constantly- and it is very annoying because it’s an unpredictable variable, but thankfully it happens when the battle is almost over/already over so it’s not really fainting. It’s like taking a nap! Involuntarily, but at least it’s sort of convenient.

4) being overly selfless is selfish, and selfish = bad, so Cale is a Bad Person and Complete Trash. Look at Cale, selfishly wanting his friends and his homeland to be safe so that he can retire. Bastard!

So, turns out his inability to realize the irony of his statements is because of the traumatizing 16 years of mental conditioning where pushing himself over the edge is normal and expected, spurred on by his socially isolated past that led to a lack of empathy and emotional awareness, and his two closest friends sacrificing themselves for him after his ability couldn’t predict the situation accurately enough.

Wow, it was the trauma all along…

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^^^ my attempts at fish

Anyway, here is a compilation of my favorite Cale moments :D find it under the cut :3 they’re angsty :v spoilers ofc