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Collegelife - Blog Posts
Types of People in Buses and Bus stops
1. If you’re a girl, you’ll almost certainly encounter a woman who insists on talking to you, for forty minutes, about the rising price of vegetables. This woman can be found at bus stops, and if you happen to be there at the right (or wrong, depending on how you look at it) time, you might even find her with her pack, all complaining about the bane of their existence: onion sellers.
2. For the guys: if you are at a bus stop, and you don’t look like a wild teenager, you’ll probably get sucked into an argument concerning politics. Before you know it, you’re listening, with growing despair, to an inane conversation about BJP vs Congress, finally culminating with the decision that, of the two of them, Aam Admi Party is the best. Go figure.
3. Most of the time, especially in the evening when people are returning from work, you’ll always find yourself a spectator to an epic showdown between The Kanjoos Lazy Conductor and The Frustrated Auntie. It will start off on a small scale, and gradually build up to a competition on who has the most lung power. It always starts because Frustrated Auntie will give a 10 rupee note for an 8 rupee ticket, and Kanjoos-Lazy doesn’t want to go through the trouble of giving the two rupees back. From there it will escalate to an all-out brawl, with the remaining passengers either cheering for their preferred side, or joining in because “those idiots blocked my way and now I missed my stop.”
4. Without fail, you always encounter a bunch of teenagers who start having a serious conversation in hushed tones about someone else’s personal problems. These problems usually involve either a girl whose boyfriend dumped her and how “she totally deserved it because her boyfriend should be my boyfriend” or it will be about a distant relative and the gossip concerning him/her or it will be about “ohmygodohmygodVarunDhawanissohot!” So before you leave the bus, you’re completely caught up on the latest Bollywood gossip and you know all about the drinking problems of someone’s jiju.
Quick Guide for Arts Students
Since students have to make a lot of important career and study related decisions in a few short years, I decided to make this overly sarcastic guide for Arts students. Hopefully this helps. Step One: First you must score less than 60% in your tenth exams, because in India, it is unacceptable to be a smart Arts student. It is always assumed that you are an Arts student because you couldn't get into Commerce or Science. Step Two: You must spend your entire time in the college canteen, even if it serves only substandard vada pav and soggy idlis. Arts students are supposed to be drop outs and/or "weird theatre types." Step Three: The syllabus will require you to memorise the birth dates of obscure scientists, because logic. This will kill all your creative genes. For the sake of extremely necessary degree, deal with it. Satisfy creativity by table graffiti. Step Four: You are an Arts student. Sanskaar dictates that you are not on the same level as Science and Commerce students (apparently), therefore 99% in exams is out of question. But you must still get 99% in your 12th exams. Of course, questions in Arts papers are very subjective and as a result it's almost impossible to get 99% in them, but meh. Technicalities. Step Five: Everyone, from ancient relatives to the woman cutting your hair, is going to ask you about your results in the 10th standard. Lie and say you got 50% so that you don't have to hear the standard argument of "Arrey?! Aapko 92% mila toh aapne Science kyu nahi liya???" (What?! Why didn't you take Science if you got 92%???) It's actually easier to bear the judgemental looks rather than try to explain that you might actually be interested in Arts and Humanities. Step Six: Become a teacher.
My thoughts during an exam
1. I’ll write “mathematics” instead of “math” so that the answer looks longer
2. Two hours left
3. Which subject is this?!
4. Ooh, who got busted for cheating this time?
5. Why are people leaving already? Did they skip questions or am I just stupid?
6. OH GODS has my watch stopped?!?
7. No. Ok… breathe…
8. NO DON’T WASTE TIME BREATHING YOU OAF
9. One and a half hours left
10. Why does this idiot behind me keep poking me in the back?!
11. My fingers are cramping
12. Great, my four-mark answers are longer than the twelve-mark ones
13. Of course, now I need to go to the bathroom
14. And I’m writing down song lyrics instead of the answers again
15. Forty-five minutes left
16. Shit, forty-five minutes left!
17. This question must be wrong.
18. This answer is horrible. Ok, I’ll add in a couple of ‘henceforths’ and see if that’ll do the trick.
19. Why are they asking for extra paper? I knew it, my answers are too short! Great.
20. The only way I’ll pass this exam is divine intervention
21. I’m so sleepy…
22. Having exams in this weather should be illegal
23. What a lovely poky seat this is
24. My ink got over. Great. I’ll use my other pen. So much time will be wasted now because of this.
25. My other pen has no ink
26. Pencil it is
27. Nib broke. AARGH!!!
28. She purposely gave me the worst pen she had. I bet it didn’t even cost 5 bucks
29. 5 bucks sweets are so rare nowadays… I wish they were still there.
30. FOCUS!!!
31. YES! My answer booklet is over!!! Now I can be all swag and ask for one more
32. Because they just have to waste my time and give me a supplement with the staple in the middle of the page
33. AARGH stupid staple won’t come out
34. How the hell did HE remove it so easily? And now I look like a wuss
35. “We don’t need noo…education…tu du du, tudu tudu…”
36. Just 30 minutes and this will all be over!
37. Maybe I should copy
38. It’s justified man! Look at what a lousy paper she’s set! How the hell am I supposed to remember all of this!
39. My partner is looking into my paper. No hope there then.
40. Behind me!
41. No she’s an idiot.
42. And it’s but obvious that the only person in the class with an afro is sitting in front of me
43. AAIYEE!! I wasted 10 minutes debating this!
44. Lightning fast writing!
45. I don’t know the spelling of beginning. Umm…
46. Um…
47. ….
48. “Begin…ing”
49. Now I forgot the sentence.
50. Almost done… scribble! Scribble!
51. 3 minutes left! Scribblescribblescribble!
52. Finished!!!
53. The second half of my paper looks like a five year old wrote it
54. Ok, I gave in the paper… Breathe in, breathe out…
55. And of course, now is the perfect time to remember all the solutions to the questions I didn’t answer.
Kirtana P. Menon
Anyone else overwhelmed with modern life expectations?
Like I could probably have graduated some housewife school like three times over now. I know the cleaning hacks. I know the social planning. I can perform the femininity, in skirts and pants. I know the sewing (functional and recreational) and the crafts. I can cook very well. I know other people of varying gender identities who can do the same (with or without the femininity, as it were).
What I can’t do is focus long enough to write 16 pages of essay on topics I am burnt out on (because of my university taking away spring break cause the Greek life kids couldn’t be responsible about the pandemic and not party for five minutes last semester), to further my education, for a career I never planned to even have as a kid, so I can be self sufficient (good) and avoid being told I’m wasting my potential (bad). Even though I’m smart enough for it, it’s not what I’m truly passionate about.
It’s all so much, like in another life I could have had a couple kids and a husband and a reasonably clean house and been living my best life by now, but instead all I have are increasingly taxing assignments, the single life, a messy house, no time for anything else and enough stress and anxiety to have been institutionalized over back then. Like I just want to be a homemaker. Thanks capitalism
high school me: *has 8am to 6pm days* *never drinks water* *doesn’t even feel the need to pee during the day* *overall feels pretty good*
college me: *always carries a bottle of water* *can’t even go 3 hours without peeing* *is always tired* *is a mess*
Hello again tumblr! It’s been a while! My name is Ruth and I’m an illustrator and senior university student. I will be posting a backlog of my own illustrations for your viewing pleasure. If you are curious about commissions, my email is in my bio. Send me a quick message and I’ll get back to you with info. Hope you have a wonderful day!