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D'artagnan - Blog Posts
Y'all, reading the Three Musketeers for the first time is WILD
d'Artagnan Sr really said, here's a jalopy, $300 bucks, and fight anyone who gives you side eye
This whole time I thought bby d'Artagnan was just a dumbass teen - no he was a dumbass teen given *explicit* instructions
Mar's BBC vs Book Canon Musketeers Assession: a Short Yet Comprehensive Guide
(read under the cut!)
bbc d'Artagnan: baby. has not done anything wrong in his life ever, actual angel, just very stupid.
vs
book d'Artagnan: has the power of god and anime on his side, most annoying little bitch you'll ever meet, broke, has a stupid horse, perpetually single.
*
bbc Athos: depressed older brother figure that's not-so-secretly very soft and loving of his found family and would die to protect them, also still horny for one Milady de Winter. Carries the communal garrison braincell.
vs
book Athos: drunk misogynist who yearns for death and whose only reason to live is his son Raoul. All his braincells have committed self-murder.
*
bbc Porthos: feisty ray of sunshine who has never had a single evil thought in that silly head of his, actually quite clever, complicated and emotional, deserves the world.
vs
book Porthos: vainest person you'll ever meet, doesn't know when to shut up, sugar baby who cares only about himself (and maybe Aramis), has not had a single intelligent thought in his entire existence.
*
bbc Aramis: cinnamon roll, golden retriever, actually quite clever, troublemaker who can't keep it in his pants, lovable self-sacrificial idiot who would get himself killed in a heartbeat to save his loved ones, brightest smile in all of Paris. Invented bisexuality.
vs
book Aramis: mean, edgy, probably secretly a vampire, would sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip, one bad day away from going on a murder spree. Also invented bisexuality.
*
bbc Treville: exasperated dad.
vs
book Treville: extremely exasperated dad.
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bbc Cardinal: genius evil mastermind played by Peter Capaldi.
vs
book Cardinal: genius evil mastermind sadly not played by Peter Capaldi.
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bbc Rochefort: worst person you'll ever fucking meet, arguably the only downgrade in the show.
vs
book Rochefort: sneaky lil bastard that's also the bestieTM, we stan.
*
bbc Constance: feminist icon, beautiful queen I'd kill and die for, gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
vs
book Constance: she's just there and then she dies ig.
*
bbc Milady: my cunning evil murderwife, would die for her, deserves the world.
vs
book Milady: actually I believe Athos should have strangled her with his own hands, fuck her.
*
bbc Bonacieux: evil greasy little man, fuck him.
vs
book Bonacieux: he's just... kinda... there I guess? Idk man Dumas looked at the Bonacieuxs and went "nah".
*
bbc Louis: annoying little shit but he's kinda cute and nice sometimes
vs
book Louis: manchild, just There ig.
*
bbc Anne: radiant angel who has done nothing wrong in her life ever and she's also perfection itself.
vs
book Anne: literal drama queen.
*
BONUS ROUND- GRIMAUD
bbc Grimaud: hot evil emo dude, idk what his problem was tho
vs
book Grimaud: actually he just doesn't get paid enough for this shit so if he wanted to murder Athos like in the show I'd understand that lmao
I miss dart sm 😔😔😔
Miss ya king, I hope u make a return in S5 😘🫶