Dcmenthathavemeinachokehold - Blog Posts

Age and height difference between the Batfam

(In my au)

Bruce - 36

Dick - 25

Jason - 22

Barry - 20

Tim - 19

Stephen - 18

Duke - 17

Cassian - 17

Damian - 14

~~Bruce Wayne headcannons~~

Tw - mentions of sex

•6’5 of pure muscle

•let’s be honest, he has the soul of an old woman

•permanent eye bags

•chronic back pain

•since taking in the kids (mainly Damian) he hasn’t slept with someone in years

•he keeps up the flirty playboy front but is too busy for sex

•he wears reading glasses

•had some of the best kept hair ever

•he looks like both his mom and dad

•he’s stunning

•listens to classical music

•so dependent on Alfred for everything

• “Alfred, which option do I circle?”

• “Alfred can you do my tie?”

•he’s very awkward

•especially around sex if it involves his children

•when he had the talk with dick, he was mortified

•you’d think a playboy wouldn’t be so awkward with this

•he loves all his kids equally

•he has a burden for Jason though

•he feels like he failed as a father

•super protective but acts like he’s not

•gets made fun of for his age

•Stephen asked him what the Great Depression was like

•cue him breaking his pen

•Clark is his bestie

•he’s the only one he’ll willingly socialize with

•he was a mommas boy

•he brings her fresh flowers every week

•slight British accent he picked up from Alfred

•my hc is that his mom is Italian and he speaks it fluently

•enjoys flaunting infront of his kids

•when a woman at a gala tries to flirt with him, all he talks about is his kids

• “Damian won an art show last week” “Cassian started learning a new dance style” “Jason made Baklava last night and it was amazing”

•he’s such a mood killer but doesn’t realize it

•secretly listens to Olivia Rodrigo

•he can sing

•like sing sing

•he sounds like Michael Buble

•his kids are his pride and joy

•although he may not seem like it, he would gladly break his rule for them

(Male Barbara Gordon)

~~Bartholomew Gordon headcannons~~

•around 5’11

•father of the friend group (dick is the mother)

•doesn’t bother with contacts

•he tried them once and almost poked his eyeball out

•has a pair of glasses in every color

•keeps his hair short

•although he did have a mullet one time (him and Tim grew matching ones, dick was upset about being left out)

•ambivert

•works out daily

•him and Jason are gym buddies

•people underestimate him because he’s in a wheelchair but he can strangle you with his biceps

•enjoys classic rock

•Bon Jovi, Nirvana, Queen, all the greats

•always wears a flannel

•rocks crocs

•coordinates his glasses with his fits

•he had braces as a child

•calluses on his hands from the keyboard

•him and Tim had a hacker-off to see who was better

•hacker-offs are now forever banned

•prefers energy drinks to coffee

•Red Bull-aholic

•loves dystopian books

•his favorite show is the walking dead

•constantly makes wheelchair jokes

• “hang on let me stretch my legs first”

•very dry and blunt

•doesn’t try to be funny and that is what makes him funny

•him, the other barry (Allen), and Bart are all in a group chat called The Barts

•they all dressed as Bart Simpson for Halloween one time

•loves pizza

•I’m talking mikey level pizza lover

•honestly Stiles coded

•he’s smart but is an idiot if that makes sense

•he can play the piano

•he took lessons as a kid

(Male Stephanie Brown)

~~Stephen Brown headcannons~~

•second shortest batboy

•5’11

•him and Dick are two sides of the same coin

•golden retriever

•he wasn’t really raised anything, but he will to to church with Duke if he offers

•meme king

•he loves Modern Family and Big Bang Theory

•wears lots of bracelets and rings

•he loves the color purple because it was his moms favorite color

•he associates purple with peace and comfort

•teenage mutant ninja turtles were his childhood

•has watched every Madea movie ten times

•he loves kids and wants a lot of them one day

•makes Cass do TikTok dances with him

•he has abandonment issues

•he’s very scared to loose his brothers

•copes with sarcasm

•generally a very sunny person

•he has heterochromia

•one brown and one blue

•freckles

•plays the bass

•he can sing like MICO

•he loves Alex Warren

•Ordinary is his favorite song

•Loves to cook but can’t cook whatsoever

•he gets very mad when Alfred won’t let him cook due to the ramen incident (Tim’s fault)

•allergic to peanuts

•he accidentally ate one once and instead of getting his epi pen he started gagging himself to make him puke it up

•shopaholic

•gets most of his clothes from Hot Topic or the Buckle

•he had his ear pierced at one point but he forgot to put them in and the holes closed

•his nose is slightly crooked from being broke

•and his teeth are slightly crooked

•constantly covered in bandaids

•multi colored bandaids everywhere

(Male Cassandra Cain)

~~Cassian Cain headcannons~~

•He’s Japanese

•about 6’0

•has a wee touch of the tism (all the batboys have it to some extent fight me)

•he was raised atheist but went to church with Duke one time and he believes in God now

•loves dark chocolate

•especially with anything mint

•Junior mints and yorks are his favorite candy

•ballet is his stress reliever

•he gets lost in dance and song

•shaggy black hair that touches the back of his neck

•often rocks a man bun or half up half down with a claw clip

•Arcane League of Legends is his favorite show ever

•listens to the soundtrack religiously

•he can speak, but almost never does

•may say one word if you’re lucky

•he can sign many different sign languages

•loves twenty one pilots

•Heathens and Stressed Out is his top songs

•he doesn’t like being touched. He prefers to initiate it

•the most you’ll get is a fist bump or a hand on the shoulder

•he enjoys painting with Damian (even though he’s not very good at it)

•he loves theater

•Bruce got him tickets to Newsies one time and he fist bumped him (Bruce was secretly beaming)

•helps Alfred clean sometimes

•Alfred enjoys spending time with him

•has a few ear piercings

•Brave is his favorite movie

•Lee Know coded 100%

•rbf

•best eyebrows you’ve ever seen

•he hates bananas (the texture freaks him out)

•will sit in the most random positions

•like on his hands with his legs in a pretzel (he scared the crap out of Dick onetime and he thought he was possessed)

•part of him wants to talk more but he can’t bring himself to

~~Duke Thomas headcannons~~

•he’s about 6’1

•he’s so sweet

•so respectful

•skater boy 100%

•has had multiple skating related injuries

•he sometimes feels out of place as the only meta in the batfam

•he listens to hozier

•he loves Brooklynn 99 and Fresh Prince of Bel Air

•claims he gets whitewashed sometimes from living in the manor and leaves to “retain the black sanity he lost from these crazy white people”

•he literally hates galas

•whenever Bruce tries to bring him to one he always acts like he’s allergic to rich white people

•does skincare routine

•pierced ears

•loves converse shoes

•miles morales coded

•he’s a goody two shoes honestly

•he has locs

•3c or 4c hair

•he loves rnb music and rap

•he can get down to some white girl bangers tho

•he dressed up with dick for Halloween as white chicks

•he grew up in church

•Kendrick Lamar is his favorite artist

•he can’t sleep in the dark

•sometimes he manipulates the color spectrum to make him invisible

•loves gossip

•he has doctor handwriting

•obsessed with blueberry muffins

•forever quoting a meme or movie reference

•obsessed with monster drinks

•loves gummy bears

•sings like Bruno mars

•tongue pokes out of his lips when he’s really focused

•certified fanboy

•love playing board games

•especially clue

•and among us

~~Damian Wayne headcannons~~

•grows to be taller than the other boys (not Jason)

•will be 6’4

•autism

•he enjoys any form of art

•he once ran away from the manor and they found him in an art museum

•he was raised Muslim and practices it

•the family respects it

•they help him celebrate Muslim holidays

•Alfred always makes him Arabic dishes when he feels homesick

•painting is his therapy

•he’s gifted each member a detailed painting of themselves

•it’s his love language

•often gets overstimulated in crowds

•he’s vegetarian

•fashion icon

•can’t comprehend sarcasm or any gen z/gen alpha slang

• “what on earth is a skibidi”

•very distinguished vocabulary

•the others mock him for it (they secretly love the way he speaks)

•he speaks many languages

•English isn’t his native language, Arabic and Mandarin are his main languages, along with Cantonese

•so due to this he has a slight accent

•he’s so judgmental

•will criticize everything

•hates change

•he’s like Sheldon cooper when things change

•carries business cards

•he’s so antisocial it’s painful

•he’s a biter (blame dick)

•he was so scared for his first day of school

•the whole batfam showed up to support him

•Alfred is his favorite

•he refers to Bruce as Baba

•when he gets older he is so fine

•he don’t know tho

•he physically can’t comprehend the fact that people find him attractive

•he has the longest eyelashes ever on a guy

•the girls often ask him to do henna on them, he complies since he loves art and his culture

•he loves sunsets

•he finds them peaceful

•he relates to Jason the most

•he has sensory issues

•he would adopt every animal he comes across if Bruce would let him

•animal rights advocate

•he has back problems sometimes

•he plays the cello

•he carries headphones for when he gets too overwhelmed

~~Tim Drake headcannons~~

•shortest of the batboys

•5’8-5’10

•Percy Jackson reincarnated

•the sassiest mf ever

•OCD

•ADHD/ADD

•Italian descent

•listens to true crime podcasts

•has longer hair

•like to the collar of his shirt

•it’s so silky and healthy too

•has his ears pierced

•and his nose

•nerd

•collects comic books, funkos, anythjng related to one of his hyper fixations he has

•smartest member of the league

•fight me

•hacks things for fun

•he once hacked all of Wayne enterprises as an April fools prank (Bruce was NOT happy)

•he was raised catholic but turned atheist

•probably paints his nails

•he jump scared dick one night (he thought he was a vampire, turns out it was just sleep deprived Tim)

•loves crime and mystery books

•regularly goes to comic cons

•cosplays in secret

•watches kallmekris and Markiplier

•secretly streams on discord when he games

•runs a photography account on instagram

•conspiracy theorist

•he’s nocturnal

•he hates sleeping at night so he just passes out wherever during the day

•loves trying different types of coffee

•ruined his eyes so he wears contacts or glasses

•wears a medical bracelet stating he’s missing his spleen

•loves gossiping

•watches crime shows

•listens to twenty one pilots and Fall Out Boy

•loves Hamilton

•always wears silver jewelry (rings, earrings, necklaces)

•lactose intolerant but doesn’t care

•loves Italian food

•antisocial asf

•he’s so awkward I love him

•he’s a feminist

•believes in all rights and equalities

•the most pretty batboy

•like stunningly pretty

•lives in oversized hoodies and sweats

•blunt, doesn’t register anyone’s feelings whatsoever

•designs his own video games

•menace to society

•no one is safe from his menace antics

•loves baseball

•more of a cat person

~~Dick Grayson headcannons~~

•about 6’2-6’3 in height

•he’s shorter than Jason and Bruce

•adhd personified

•dyslexic

•the bluest freaking eyes ever

•his mother is Latina and his father is Romanian, so he speaks both Romanian and Spanish

•was raised to believe in God, never specified which religion, he was taught both Christianity and Catholicism

•sunshine boy

•the mother of every friend group

•he’s forever banned from the kitchen due to the pie incident (ask Alfred)

•can’t sit still for nothing

•this mf has no spine. He can bend any way and can do any sort of gymnastics

•more on the lean side than muscular

•he learned Arabic for Damian to make him feel more welcome

•wears his heart on his sleeve

•theater kid 100% he’s the most dramatic human ever

•loves animals

•absolutely terrified of spiders

•he screams then has someone else come kill it

•banned from drinking energy drinks/coffee bc the last thing he needs is to be more hyper

•the homework helper

•refers to anyone younger than him as a kid

•calls the others children

•dad jokes everywhere

•screams when he doesn’t win dress to impress

•gets noise complains all the time

•has been duct taped to the ceiling (*cough* Jason *cough*)

•Disney princess

•sings in the shower (more like screams)

•Damian’s new mother

•pop culture reference king

•loves Sabrina carpenter and Olivia Rodrigo

•dresses up for every holiday

•ABBA’s #1 fan

•forever hanging upside down from the chandelier (Alfred makes him dust while he’s up there)

•very expressive person

•strawberry cheesecake is his favorite desert

•makes friendship bracelets for the batfam (they don’t wear them but cherish them, don’t let dick know)

•titanic is his favorite movie, always cries during it

•everyone’s therapist

•the entire league can come to him with anything and he’ll be there with a box of tissues and chocolates

•stocks up on period supplies for the girls

•loves the Barbie movie

•wears pick bunny slippers around the manor

•snatched waist

•he’s a very pretty man

•indirectly cusses (ex: son of a biscuit, for shreks sake, you’re such a lint licker)

•always smiling

•looks like a cinnamon roll but can kill yoy but won’t because he’s too much of a cinnamon roll

•reads diary of a wimpy kid

•collects squish mellows

Lmk if I missed anything

~~Jason Todd Headcannons~~

Tw- mentions of abuse

•abnormally tall

•I’m talking he was a giant before Lazarus pit

•that only enhanced his height

•6’8-6’11 height range

•any scars he has now faintly glow green in the dark, alongside his eyes

•hair dye won’t stick to the white tuft

•the Lazarus pit messed him up biologically, I’m talking like he can’t get cold

•his skin literally radiates with heat it’s alarming

•due to this he burns off stuff faster so he has a higher metabolism and most medicine doesn’t work or last very long

•his canines are slightly sharpened

•like not full fangs but noticeable point to them

•Greek 100%

•he was raised catholic

•you could cut paper with how chiseled his jawline and cheekbones are

•when Bruce first took him in the media thought he was his biological son by how much this boy looks like him

•book nerd

•like Jane Austen, Edgar Allen Poe, all the classic authors he loves

•wears reading glasses

•his nails are painted black most of the time

•will wear makeup. Like to cover his scars or guyliner

•probably has his ears pierced

•secret kpop Stan

•big fan of BLACKPINK and ATEEZ

•he has tattoos (Damian designed them)

•acts like he hates kids but he loves them, babies especially, but he’s too scared he’ll hurt them

•bilingual king

•learns languages for fun or to insult Bruce without him knowing

•the worst to play games with

•he will dominate at monopoly

•because of him (*cough* dicks fault *cough*) uno is banned from the manner

•the only person Alfred allows to use the kitchen

•bakes amazing deserts (he has a sweet tooth)

•also makes Greek dishes

•he likes art (he’s not as good as Damian but he can draw)

•King of any video game

•has a good singing voice but hides it (he sounds like Steven Rodriguez)

•doesn’t drink

•however he does smoke

•when he first came back to life he smoked to get over everything, now he only does it whenever he’s stressed

•favorite artist is Paris Paloma

•he cried when he listened to Labour for the first time

•he has a stutter from being hit by the Joker, so he tends not to talk, when he does it’s in broken English bc he doesn’t want anyone to know about it :(

•rbf 10000000+%

•the whole batfam are the masters at rbf

•freckles

•struggled with body dysmorphia and phantom pain

Welp that’s all I got so far. Comment any hc’s yall have