Curate, connect, and discover
I thought that for the first time ever I am going to fight for what I want till the end. But in the end, I gave up. Again. But this time it wasn't because I wasn't brave enough but I didn't knew if that is really what I want, if that is worth fighting for. What if it wasn't what I wanted after all?
Please bring me a good news 🤞
When I was there today, standing along the shore and doing sampling, I didn't wanted to leave the ocean. I was standing inside the water a bit farther from the shore but not that much. When i turned around and look at the vast ocean, it looked beautiful. The weather was also perfect today, neither too sunny nor cloudy at all. And the timing was also perfect. The chill and waves that were hitting my legs, I didn't wanted to move away from it. Even a step. That's when I thought of it. That I want my future self to do this too. Of course, I want to do laboratory work. I have imagined myself working in a laboratory environment countless times. I have no doubt in that. But after today, it made me realize that I want both. I do want to work in a laboratory but don't want to do it all the times. I also want to come out and work in the field. Meet small to big creatures to see what they're up to and let the wind pass through me. Get myself wet from playing/working in the ocean and get myself tired by fighting the waves just so I can have a good night's sleep. When my tired self comes home, I want to give myself a hot shower and full filling meal and then blop! I want to drop myself on my bed and sleep with no alarm set. Then, once I'm awake, I want to go the laboratory and take a closer look at the new creatures I found. That is how I would like to live. I don't want to spend the whole time stuck in the laboratory. Neither do I want to spend my whole time in the field. I want to do a job which balances both. I want to find pleasure by doing both. At least, that's what I believe.
There are some shots from today!! 💙
Also they was something about the ocean that made me feel weird. Made me feel somehow dizzy. I felt like floating. Today was the first time I'm stepping and standing in the ocean (minusing the time we did sampling for Dr. Mel's fieldwork session) after my diving practice. It somehow felt weird and calming at the same time.
Story of 14/04/2022
I had to work under the hot sun to the point I was having a very terrible headache. But yet, it was memorable. My very first sampling experience. It wasn't the greatest but I learned something 💙
Today's view 😇
Day 1 in campus of University 🤎
I used to think scientists were mortal gods; that I should never be clever enough to be one of them. Even now I am astounded every day by the minds that solved some of nature’s most incredible problems. Maybe that’s why I took no interest in science until I was 14.
Or maybe it was because of all I have been told over the years. I was told I was hopeless with maths - my secondary school maths teacher admitted that I was only in the top set because my confidence was already on the floor and would not allow them to move me down.
I was told that if I needed to be medicated for depression and anxiety, I would have no hope in the “real world”.
I was told that given my socioeconomic status (my single-parent family is among the poorest 10% in the U.K. based on income) and postcode, all the predictions pointed to my failing school. I don’t suppose the truancy due to constant bullying helped my case. If I didn’t even have a desk to work at, how could I ever expect pass any of my exams? (Look carefully at the picture and you’ll see carpet. It’s 23:56 on a Sunday and I am reunited with the only study space I have in my family home - the top of the stairs!)
And yet here I am, despite all the odds. I did not fail in school: I was top in my year, twice. I am striving for a first in my chemistry degree at a Russell Group university. I taught myself an A level in maths and got a top grade. I am now so totally in love with my degree and with learning that it hurts.
I did all that from the top of the stairs.
[Sorry for the rambles, and I hope that the wall of text doesn’t look like bragging. It’s just that lately, I’ve been so overwhelmed with how far I have yet to go, and I’ve only just realised how far I’ve come.]
Nyár Az idei nyár igazán mozgalmas volt, csak most tudom megírni milyen jó dolgok történtek. Júniusban megvédtem diplomamunkámat, a Rumcsempész társasjátékot. Ezzel hivatalosan is befejeztem tanulmányaimat a soproni AMI-ban. Köszönöm mindenkinek az ott eltöltött öt szép évet, a társasjáték elkészültéhez adott rengeteg támogatást és a kilenceknek a giga-diplomakonzultációkat. A Rumcsempészből szeretném ha egyszer igazi termék válna, de addig még nagyon sok tesztelés és finomítás vár még a szabályokra és a játékmenetre, ezért aki szeretné kipróbálni, írjon bátran, mert nemsokára velem együtt Budapesten lesz a játék.
Summer The Summer was so eventful, that I hardly can write about all of the good things what happened to me. I finished my studies in the University of West Hungary. I spent there five beautiful years, thanks to the kind people. The fruit of those years was my degree project, the Rumsmuggler board game what I presented to the degree jury in June. One day I'd like to make a real product from it, but many hours of testing and refining lay ahead of me. If you happen to be in Budapest and you'd like to test the game, drop me a line.