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Diego 🤤 - Blog Posts
Klaus: If your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
Diego: I'm gonna be cremated so imagine a cloud of bones flying over the battlefield
Klaus: Oo metal
Klaus: Be gay, do crimes is all well and good, but one can also be queer, instill fear
Viktor: you forgot be trans, throw hands
Diego: be bi, go for the eye
Five: Be ace, punch face
Luther, the struggling token straight™️:…I’m scared of you all
So apparently there's this script for a tua season 1 episode that never got made. It's about their 23th birthday.
You guys.
A couple of things that stand out:
- That cross stitch Diego had in the boiler room that was so obviously a gift from Grace was a gift for his 23th birthday.
- Also, Diego went every week to visit his mom. I'm crying
- Klaus was in jail at this time, and he accidentally killed a guy in self defense.
- Allison is there but we just see her struggling not to use her powers on every day issues.
- Also apparently Patrick was her acting coach.
- She needed it.
- Luther was pathetic and I want to cry for him bc I love him so much but God was he dumb. Also the Accident happened the day after his birthday.
- Viktor had a girlfriend, who looked so sweet at first but then he found out she was cheating on him. On his birthday. Ouch.
- Five flirted with a woman named Delores in a 1940s (I think) bar, and it was so sweet and heartbreaking. He got a little kiss for dancing with her. It was great. Get it, old man.
- Five traveled to 2012 for the commission, saw Diego leave the academy, and couldn't stop himself from shouting his brother's name. I am HEARTBROKEN
- The Handler stopped him before Diego could see him, and also we have confirmation that the Handler was fucking creepy. She kissed Five after proclaiming he was hers. Five stands still and closes his eyes. I'm... feeling things. Mostly homicidal rage.
- Viktor visits Klaus in jail, which develops into the best conversation I've ever read.
- They talk about Viktor's book. Klaus is very supportive. Reading the whole script is worth it just to read that conversation JESUS CHRIST:
- Apparently, Grace announced one day at the dinner table that Diego had had his first wet dream.
- Klaus asks Viktor if he had added that lovely little anecdote into the book.
- Viktor responded with an: yeah, I did.
- Christ almighty I know understand why Diego was so fucking angry VIKTOR HARGREEVES YOU HAVE ZERO CHILL.
- Okay seriously overall that conversation is very sweet. Best klaus-viktor interaction. 10/10
- Also I find hilarious that Regginald tried to call them all separately but obviously no one picked up, so his next thought was: "well. Better start planning my own funeral".
- The quip Klaus made in the Void when he asked Reginald "couldn't you just have called?" Is a thousand times funnier knowing that the bastard DID call, but Klaus missed it bc he was in jail.
That is all for tonight lovelies, this was heartbreaking to read but overall amazing, I recommend you read it, here is the link
I rewatched S1 and S2 of The Umbrella Academy for the tenth time, and I decided to keep track of how many times the characters said certain words
Diego and Allison: Hey let's go beat the shit out of racists
The Umbrella Academy S3 + Text Posts Part 1