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Watch my shattered edges glisten| Leah Williamson x young!reader (platonic)

Summary; Being so good so young brings a lot of attention to you, especially when you make a simple mistake. Leah notices you struggling and helps you as you begin to crack under the pressure. Inspired by "Mirrorball" by my mother, Taylor Swift.

Pairings; Leah Williamson x young!reader (platonic), lionesses x reader (platonic)

Words; 2k

Warnings; sad, swearing, angst.

A/N; Is it too much to ask just to be comforted by Leah. Sorry about the sadness but it's so fun to write and play it out in my head. A little it rushed but I wanted to get something out and i'm off work sick so very clearly bored atm. Enjoy.

It was no secret that Leah felt a need to protect you and basically adopt you when you entered the senior team just a few months ago. You were quite young, like most of the other girls were when they got their first call ups, but there was a naivety and innocence to you that she felt the need to take you under her wing very quickly.

You had excelled very easily in the youth and U23 squads, becoming one of the best defenders for your age and following closely behind in the footsteps of the one and only Leah Williamson. So when you got that call from Sarina inviting you to your first senior camp, you were both excited and extremely nervous to be in the presence of your biggest inspirations.

There was a lot of press when your call up was publicly announced, people who had watched you in the younger squads cheering you on and other fans ready to see how you would fit within the senior team. A lot of the younger players in the squad were more than excited to hear of you finally moving up, most of you playing together and growing up together at national camps over the years. So there was no reason for you to worry about when arriving at St Georges park for the first time.

But the thought about being in an unfamiliar environment with new people and a new team still made you nervous. So it was understandable that you were quiet and reserved for the first day, still greeting everyone but unsure of where your place in the squad was just yet. The girls you had grown up with were lovely as always but it had been a few years since you were all together, so it was different. 

That's when Leah knew she had to make the effort and ensure your transition to the senior squad was smooth and easy, making you comfortable with the girls which would benefit your performance on the field.

"Hey, y/n!" A voice called out to you, making you turn your head to find the Leah Williamson waving you over to her table. You swallowed your nerves before walking over to her with your breakfast tray in your shaky hands. She shifted over to make a space for you between herself and Keira. That was the first and certainly not the last time Leah had made sure you felt welcome and  supported on the team. 

A few camps in and everyone was calling you a mini Leah, not that you minded. You and the older defender had a lot in common, making it easy to get along and create a sisterly bond quite easily. 

Despite being in a lower-ranked team of the WSL, many people already knew who you were and were ready to support you as you joined the senior squad. This helped with your nerves as you waited to sub on during your first national game, hearing the home crowd cheer as your number displayed beside Leah's.

"You've got this little one." Leah whispered as she hugged you, making your heart swell and your eyes roll at the nickname before you ran out and took her place on the field next to Millie and Lotte.

It's safe to say your run with the national team has been going quite well since your first game, finding yourself appearing in every match and even starting in the two in the previous camp.

Your impressive defensive skills and tactics had been noticed when you were on national duty and during regular matches, causing your agent to call you with many offers from many different clubs in the WSL and even other leagues. But there was one that stood out and would be a no-brainer to transfer during the January window, especially as a place to work on your skills ahead of the World Cup this summer.

So you officially left the club that started your professional career at 18 just three years ago and set off to North London, moving into Leah's flat; nice and close to the Colney.

It was in a friendly against Australia where you made a simple mistake that would impact you and your career so harshly, so quickly.

3 months out from the world cup and this one mistake almost cost you your spot in the World Cup squad... or so you were made to believe.

It was a simple mistake that plenty of players all over the world had made before; stepping out that little bit too much during a tackle and risking the player you were trying to mark, especially with the current weather conditions. That's all it took. But you knew the moment your studs hit Kyra's boot, your match was over.

The whistle was blown within seconds of her body hitting the floor and her grabbing onto her foot where your studs had accidently landed. You looked down to where her team was beginning to surround her, frozen in place until a hand on your shoulder shook you out of it and your head moved the ref who was reaching in her back pocket. The red card came into view and although you knew it was coming, your heart still sunk as she wrote your number on the back.

A few of the England girls began to start arguing with ref that it should have at least been a yellow, but you knew there was no point, anyone could see that it was a definite red and you were officially benched for the rest of the game and the next one coming. So with a hung head you walked off the field and over to the tunnel, the voices of your teammates and the disappointed home crowd blurring into the background, everything feeling as though it was in slow motion as the rain continued to fall.

"I'm sorry." You spoke to Sarina who silently nodded her head at you, both a sympathetic and disappointed look on her face as you passed by and walked down to the change room.

You sat down on the bench in front of your cubby and stared down at the boots that let down the team and left them a man down with 20 minutes still to go.

There was something bubbling in your chest that should have been anger at the situation but it was just bitter disappointment in yourself and that was ultimately worse. Water formed in your eyes and your throat began closing up as you bit back the tears that were trying to escape, but you couldn't let them.

You ended up showering and changing into your tracksuit as you waited for the match to end and what you presumed would be a lot of upset teammates ready to storm in and hurl their anger towards you. You curled up in your cubby, headphones on but no music playing, and closed your eyes as you waited.

You were so buried within yourself that you hadn't noticed all the girls coming in and spotting you making yourself so small, breaking all of their hearts as they could see how hard you were taking this.

It was Esme who eventually disturbed you, tapping your shoulder gently, silently nodding to the door of the once again empty changeroom after everyone began to leave for the bus.

She threw her arm around you, tucking you into her side as you walked out to the back and towards the bus where everyone was waiting. Once again you were left alone by the girls on the bus, they could see you were utterly disappointed and didn't want to accidentally make it worse. So although you were sat by yourself, you could feel 22 pairs of eyes on you every so often, but most intensely from a blonde captain further back on the bus.

It didn't take long for the press to have their say on the incident, immediately shaming you for your mistake and basically flushing your name and reputation down the toilet. So as you mindlessly scrolled through social media on the way back, your feed was filled with posts and comments about the incident. You knew better than to read what they wrote about you, but you couldn’t stop, obsessed with reading every article that featured your name. 

Most of the comments were the same, things like "how dangerous it really could have been" and that you were "young and reckless and irresponsible with your choices as a defender." Deep down you knew they were wrong about you but it was hard to fight through the voices saying they were right and that you were a bad footballer. 

Leah started to get worried when you were not only ignoring the other girls, but then you began distancing yourself upon returning home with her. You stayed in your room as much as you could and tried to stay away from Leah but it was hard when living in the same house. 

The night that you got back she barely heard from you, wanting to respect your privacy for as long as she could but when she heard your soft cries through the door she couldn’t ignore it any longer. 

“Y/N?” She knocked softly on the door, waiting for a response but you stayed quiet. “I’m coming in okay.” She gave a warning before opening the door softly, her eyes instantly finding you tucked into the covers facing away from the door. “Oh little one.” 

Her soft voice made a sob finally escape and you began properly breaking down for the first time. She hated seeing you like this, contrastingly different to the bubbly, mischievous person you were known to be. She crawled up under the covers, rolling you over and placing your head upon her chest.

“What can I do?” She began smoothing your hair with her fingers, she knew this is what came with becoming a footballer in the spotlight but she didn’t think it would get you this early in your career. 

“Just hold me please.” Your voice was soft and broken, trying to stop the images and words they were saying from spiralling in your mind. 

“None of what they say is true, I need you to know that.” Leah spoke again after a few minutes of silence, finally feeling your breathing slow and the tears stopping. “It was an accident and you know it, I know it, she knows it and they know it too.” She was referring to Kyra who you had already sent a message to, apologising for hurting her and the media who were riling up a story to fill their articles full of nonsense for more money.

“This does not change who you are as a person or a player, it happens to everyone and it will go away once they find something new to talk about. But you need to ignore them.” She continued, waiting for any kind of response. “Promise me you’ll ignore them.” Leah looked down at you, tapping your head as a signal to look up at her. 

“I promise.” You gave her a small smile while nodding. 

“Come on, let’s go eat some smileys.” She flung the covers off and pushed you up with a laugh, getting one out of you for the first time since it happened. 

“You have the pallet of a five year old.” You shook your head as you crawled out of your bed. 

“And what about it?” She wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you exited out to the kitchen, pressing a small kiss to your head as you walked together. 

It was at that moment you felt truly grateful for Leah and all she had given you since joining the Lionesses and Arsenal. She took you in and gave you an environment to thrive and be comfortable in a new place when she didn’t have any obligation to. But you would forever be in debt to her kindness and never reject anything she gave to you. 

it's not your fault | Mary Earps x reader

Summary; The qualifier match against the Netherlands didn’t go exactly to plan even though they won and everyone is feeling it when that final whistle blows, especially Mary as she captains her team for the first time and you make sure she doesn't fall too deep.

Pairings; Mary Earps x lioness reader

Words; 2.2k

Warnings; angst and sadness 

A/N; It broke my heart seeing Mary like that after the game, she did her absolute best and I hope she doesn’t take it too hard and keeps her head up for the next game. So I thought I would write something that gave her a bit of imaginary comfort and projected what I would have done in that situation with her. (Also as much as I love Fran I am replacing her with the reader because in this you are a midfielder as well and we have to make some changes in this fake scenario)

You had known Mary long enough to tell when she was nervous before a game, often sitting by herself quietly for a few minutes to collect her thoughts before joining the team and getting them pumped up. But today you could sense an extra level of worry and nerves flowing through her like never before. 

She had a right to be nervous, of course. The Netherlands were tough opponents and she was captaining the Lionesses for the first time with both Leah and Millie absent from the team. She took the role seriously and with pride from the moment Sarina asked her to captain the English side in these qualifiers, you were so very proud of your partner and excited to take the field under her leadership. But now she was starting to worry you. 

She had been quiet the whole day, stuck in her own head as she went over the tactics and game plans she had discussed with Sarina and the coaching staff over the past few days. You had tried talking to her all day and get her mind off the game for one second and enjoy the pre match activities with the team but it was no use. She politely brushed you off and you just knew there was no chance in getting her to relax so you let her be. 

But now as you were preparing to line up in the tunnel for the match, you knew you had to pull her aside for even just a second and try and get her out of her head. 

Mary had just delivered a beautiful and powerful speech to the entire team in the dressing room before they all began moving to the tunnel or the benches and readied to start the game, but before Mary could walk out you grabbed her wrist and pulled her silently to an empty hallway. 

“What are you doing? We have to go and line up.” Mary sighed as you came to a stop and leant against the wall, her standing in front of you. 

“Mary, I need you to listen to me carefully, okay?” You stood up straighter, placing your hands onto her face. She nodded silently in confusion and waited for you to begin. “I need you to know that whatever happens out there, whether it goes our way or not. It’s not only on you, okay?” You spoke sternly with strong eye contact, hoping the words make their way into her head and calm her down. “I’m so proud of you. You work so hard and you deserve to be captain today. But, I can tell that taking on this role has taken a toll on you for the past few days, and I want you to know that you’re not alone and I’m always here for you. You are my world and I love you and whatever happens in these next 90 minutes, I am doing it with you. And so are the rest of those girls who look at you with as admiration as I do.” You smiled sweetly as you finished, watching her visibly melt and relax. She lets the words process and pulls you into a tight hug. 

“Thank you.” Mary mumbled into your shoulder, squeezing you tight before pulling back and looking into your eyes. “I love you.” She puts her forehead on yours and breathes in deeply. After a few moments of silence you both pulled back, nodding your head back down the empty hallway that led to the tunnel and you began walking side by side towards the rest of the starting line up. 

Mary made her way to the front to take her place as number 1 and captain, while you stayed just further back as number 9 and stood between the Lauren’s with your mascot. While waiting to get called out, you watched the back of Mary’s head and hoped that your words were sticking in her head but also stayed focused on the game ahead. Once both national anthems had played and formalities were exchanged with the opposition, it was time to start, waiting for the whistle to blow and the game to begin. 

The beginning was looking promising, your side taking quick possession and having fantastic chances and shots at goal within the first ten minutes but nothing seemed to go in and the Dutch defence was strong. In the 11th minute the Dutch side regained possession, swiftly passing to Pelova down the right wing who took a shot towards Beerensteyn, Jess and Lucy were closing in on her but when they clashed they opened too much space. 

Mary was ready for her, prepared to block from the angle but the ball left Beerensteyn’s foot, passing through Jess’s legs and just going under Mary as she fell to block it but in the end it was an early goal for the Netherlands. 

Watching it happen from further back on the field, unable to do anything from your position in the midfield, sighing in defeat when the net rippled and Mary stayed down on the ground in devastation. When the second goal just slipped past Mary again, she was mad at herself and also her defenders who let Beerensteyn in again for a second time. You caught her eye from the midfield and you could feel the anger from here. “Calm down.” Was all you could mouth to her while the players all returned to their positions, Mary huffing and shaking her head as she stood in the goal.

 The first half ended and England were down two nil and so were their spirits, especially Mary who tried to stay positive for her teammates but it was hard to hide her feelings.

After refreshing themselves and pumping back up for a battle in the second half, ready to fight and take the lead before that final whistle. 

Only 12 minutes into the second half and Georgia had finally secured a goal for the English side, you being one of the first to run up and jump on her with excitement at her header. Hope to turn this around bloomed two minutes later when Hempo sent the ball rippling into the net and the English crowd roared in celebration at the equalising goal. 

Time ticked and neither side could seem to secure a goal, yourself included in those ones on target but blocked. Sarina decided it was time for fresh legs, signalling for the planned substitutions to be made at 68 minutes. The numbers 9 and 23 flashed on the board and you ran over to the side, clapping Alessia and Tooney before walking over to the bench with water and plopping down next to Lotte, Georgia following close behind as exhausted as you. 

The team had 20 odd minutes to add to the scoreline and take the win, plenty of chances made but again nothing. Full time ended and the ref signalled 6 minutes of extra time before it was all over. And very quickly England had advanced again, the people on the bench watching as a brilliant ball was sent from LJ, directly to Tonne’s right foot, sending the ball straight through the keeper's legs at the 91st minute. You jumped up with Georgia and Lotte beside you, screaming your lungs out alongside the home crowd at the late advance. 

The final whistle blew and although England had come out on top, it wasn’t enough to take them where they needed to be in this qualifying stage, meaning the game against Scotland mattered even more now. Your heart broke as you saw Lucy and LJ drop to the floor instantly, feeling absolutely defeated and exhausted from this match. But your first priority was Mary, who you knew would be shattered right now, quickly walking onto the pitch, clapping your teammates and the Dutch players on your way to the England goal. Mary hated conceding goals, it was one thing she criticised herself on so harshly at both club and international level. 

Your eyes searched that end of the field as you walked past player after player but you still couldn’t see her. A few people were knelt down on the ground consoling someone, no face shown but you could just make out the green keeper kit peeping through the gaps and you began running over. Lotte spotted you and began moving away slowly, the other girls also getting the hint and backing away so you could come closer to Mary. As much as they also wanted to console her, they knew you were the person she needed right now, knowing you would be able to get through to her. 

“Hey love.” You spoke softly, kneeling down and resting your head on hers. The second she heard your soft voice she let out a deep breath, more tears springing to her eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered out to you, shaking her head against yours, shoulder shaking with her shuddered breath.

“Stop.” You spoke more sternly, placing your hands against her face but keeping your foreheads together, keeping this moment between the two of you. “It’s not your fault. It’s never your fault, okay? We rise and we fall as a team.” Mary didn’t respond to you, just sniffling in silence and that was enough for you to pull both of you up from the ground and bury her head in your neck, wrapping one arm around her back, the other holding her head. 

Mary instantly wrapped her arms over your shoulders, her taller frame leaning into your body and letting go slightly. More tears fell from her eyes and she forgot you were standing in the middle of Wembley Stadium, all she knew was that she was safe in your arms and that was all that mattered at that moment. 

A few people had come past you and Mary hugging on the field before you pulled back and finally looked into her red, tired eyes. Your own eyes were teary from feeling the weight of the game and after seeing how hard Mary was taking this and the conceded goals. You sent her a soft smile and wiped under her eyes, brushing a few stray baby hairs from her face. 

“I love you, angel.” She whispered to you once again, tears choking up her throat. 

“I love you so much.” You brushed her cheek with your thumb one last time. Knowing you would have to form your huddle soon, you kept an arm over her shoulder, Mary wrapping one of her own around your waist as you both walked to where other members of the team were waiting. A few of the girls were taking this hard, just like Mary, and others were like you comforting their friends close. 

After interviews were done, everyone was showered and rugged up, you piled onto the silent bus, Mary slotting in beside you near the back. You opened up your arms to her and her head fell onto your chest, her arms wrapping around your middle as you ran your hands through her clean wet hair. Normally Mary was the one to hold you in her arms after a tough game but you knew she needed the familiarity of your arms to sooth her. 

After dinner Mary had found her way into your room, asking to swap with Rachel for the night, who happily did so and went to the other room with Lucy. You and Mary just laid in bed silently together, you laying on her chest and she held you close, slowly running her fingers up and down your back. You could tell she was in her head again when her movements became less constant and when you looked up at her, she was just staring off into space.

“Love,” You caught her attention, her eyes shifting down to you. “You can’t change what happened.” You shook your head softly and watched her deflate. 

“I let everyone down.” She finally spoke, averting her eyes from yours, unable to look at you anymore. You quickly sat up, moving so you were now straddling her hips and put your hands on her shoulders. 

“Love, look at me.” You spoke. “Mary.” Saying her name caught her attention, her eyes locking onto yours, tears slowly forming again. “You did not and could not let anyone down. You were amazing today and what happened on that pitch does not and will not define who you are as a person or footballer.” You had now moved your hands to hold her face. “I missed so many shots today, I should have gotten those but I didn’t, these things happen.” You swallowed as tears began to form in your eyes as you can see how broken she is. “I have never been prouder of you than I am right now.” You smiled and rested your forehead on hers. 

“You’re so good to me.” Mary let out a small laugh, a tear rolling down her cheek as she shut her eyes, her hands squeezing your hips gently. “How did I get so lucky?” You laughed at her comment, thinking the exact same thing. Mary lifted her head from yours and met your eyes again for a second before quickly closing the gap and capturing your lips in a kiss. It was slow, soft, passionate and meaningful. 

For the rest of the night you laid in one another's arms, chatting mindlessly about things until the exhaustion took over and you both fell sound asleep attached to each other.