Feeling Good - Blog Posts

Idk how to explain it but for some reason this makes me so happy

Warlock bath-time 

So I’ve been in some of the best mental space of my life. (Atleast since I can remember) for the last few weeks.

The biggest contributor to this is that I quit drinking liquor…. I was drinking way too much and I physically and mentally started to feel it take its toll on me. I was irritable, physically felt like shit, mental cobwebs, and just generally feeling like shit Ontop of that just constantly craving my next drink.

I quit, 2 weeks ago; not cold turkey, I’m still drinking a bit of wine and beer but no where even close to what I was, which was 2 bottles a week minimum for the past several years. But I haven’t touched a bit of liquor since.

Let me tell you….. what a difference. Literally all of those negatives went away after like the 4th day and now I’m feeling so good!

In the meantime, regaining a bit of self control I also haven’t pleasured myself like a “man” since I quit the liquor….

Dont worry. I’m still having regular orgasms… which is yet another bonus to my mental state.

The “sissygasms”, gods I hate that term… but I’m at a loss for another word here, are so satisfying and leaving me in a state of bliss and clarity.

Also gradually accepting that I’ll never be a specimen of femininity, so I can either just lean back into the hyper masculine “gay man”. Or try and weave in a few strands of androgyny. Of which I’m currently leaning into the latter.

I FINALLY got some jeans that fit me so well… (American eagle).

A simple task for some, but I’ve been struggling for years to find the proper fit and length as I have a 36” inseam…. Tall gurl struggles Minor thing but feels like such a huge victory!

Really just wanted to get this out, Mostly for my own reasons of sorting things out.

Time to have a smoke, a glass of wine, and catch up on some rings of power.

Hope yall have a good night!

-Jessica

Children's books always speak the truth. Sometimes the cloud clear, and the sun peeks through just about the time your depression seems like it's going to choke you.

A few notes on indulging in media consumption

When I pay attention to what media I consume and how those make me feel, I realize some of the things I enjoy actually affect me negatively on the long run.

I enjoy listening to Miss Taylor Swift and get nostalgic about previous loves as much as anyone, but I have to realize I gain literally nothing by doing that - I only get drained.

I quite like some shows (and some high quality ones are worth watching, art puts life into perspective) but binge watching Elite will never be as valuable as sitting down to study Castillian Spanish and I have to act accordingly.

I dislike overly-dramatic tear-jerkers, victimhood-inducing news, and all types of media indirectly promoting pity parties.

Writing this as a reminder for myself, as I quite enjoy such stuff from time to time. One needs to discipline herself in terms of what she puts into her brain.

With love,

Marchesa

Gender Nonconforming Jesus: A look at art history. CW: religion, transphobia, artistic nudity, depictions of open wounds (Long post)