Gravity Falls Idea - Blog Posts

Bill Cipher, except he genuinely CANT LIE.

Like, at all. Legitimately he is incapable of telling a lie.

Like sure, he can certainly dodge questions, or maybe create a loophole or two- But if you were to ask him a question directly with no way of avoiding it- HE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE HONEST. And this fudges him over on multiple accounts.

And when he’s trying to dodge questions to avoid giving away his secrets or intentions- I want you to envision the scene from Shrek 3, where Pinocchio is being interrogated by Prince Charming concerning Shreks whereabouts- See here and he’s just RAMBLING-

Now, despite everything, this doesn’t change much. He still has flattery tactics and is careful with his worlds- Despite all his smarts Ford can still be blinded by his own hubris. So the whole portal thing goes down similarly to canon… Untill the portal incident happens.

With Ford stuck in the portal, Bill had no way of rebuilding it seeing that nobody would be willing… Aside from STANLEY PINES who is at a loss at what to do. The perfect willing assistant in rebuilding the portal. And bill wouldn’t have to lie that much cuz their goals really do aline somewhat… So, the demon tries to strike a deal…

This is when shit hits the fan for Bill.

And hey, let’s even go as far as to exaggerate the whole “Must return his half of the deal no matter what” portion of Bill’s deal making abilities. With this in mind, let’s take a look at EX CON STANLEY PINES who can sniff out a bad deal in no time- Due to his years of experience on the streets. And being the con artist that he is, Stanley being confronted by another con artist who can only tell the truth and also is confined to whatever deals they make… Well, this can only go well for him.

So Stanley tricks Bill- As he would in most dimensions if you get my gist. While Bill is offering unlimited knowledge in exchange for Stan’s compliance or something- Stan can easily twist Bills words against themselves and long story short- Bill is now trapped in Stanley’s debt and is confined to… Hmmm…

Let’s say he’s stuck constantly possessing a little magic 8 ball. And whoever shakes him, he’s forced to admit information to. A seriously bad deal on his part, an extremely great one on Stan’s part. So, Bill must help Stan get on with the portal without any sort of escape…

What’s even worse is that as time goes on, sometimes Stan even uses Bill as one of his ATTRACTIONS. (Honestly, Bill is lucky. Stan had been seconds away from binding the demon to a Zoltar machine-)

And time passes just as it would in canon, that is, untill the little pines twins come around to stay for the summer. And while I haven’t thought too hard about what the episodes looks like as I imagine it all doesn’t change too much- However. One thing that inspired this whole thing is how the kids are first introduced to bill- Something like:

Stan: Here kids- Meet Bill. This guy will answer all your pesky little questions.

Dipper: …Grunkle Stan, you named your magic 8 ball Bill?

Stan: Huh? Nah, he was called that when I first got him. Also Bill is just this all-knowing demon thing that I trapped inside of that ball in like… What was it- Was it- 85? Bah whatever-

Dipper: A demon…

Mable: *Eyes sparkling* Can I shake it???

Stan: *Tosses the ball casually* Sure knock yourself out kid.

Mable: Woahhhh…

Dipper: What is that thing… Is that… A triangle?

Stan: Welp. I’ll let you kids have at it- OH YEAH. He can’t lie so there’s that.

Or something like that. Haven’t worked out the kinks yet, but I think in this scenario Stan lets the kids mess around with Bill sometimes in hopes that the knowledge he possesses can help prevent the kids from like- Getting themselves in danger or something. And once the kids realize that they can just twist their words in order to make Bill slip and give helpful information- Well I can only imagine their shithead grins as Bill curses to the heavens. Dipper and Bill will banter a lot, with Bill obviously doing his best to break this pre-pubescent boys self esteem but it only assists in Dippers character development. Meanwhile, Bill and Mable can be lowkey chaotic and he could even respect her antics- If not for her whole “empathy and emotions” thing. (Perhaps a teensy bit of character development in places… But if Bill is a master of anything in any dimension, it is DENIAL-)

I think weirdmaggedon might still happen and there will be this whole rift thing and stuff- it’s still relatively similar. Maybe a different ending? Or another deal? Who knows. But this was just a silly thought I had- I can only imagine the names if I decide to invest time into it.

Magic 8 Bill AU? Or something? I might make some art for it if I’m being completely honest- Just a funny thought yk?