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Assclass Incorrect Quotes
Gakuhou: What are you drinking?
Gakushuu: Vodka.
Gakuhou: Straight?
Gakushuu: No, gay. Why?
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Gakuhou: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.
Gakushuu: Heck.
Gakuhou: You're on thin fucking ice.
Gakuhou: Oh no-
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Koro-sensei: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*
Koro-sensei: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.
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Gakushuu, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.
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Gakushuu: Kill me nowwwww.
Isogai: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.
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Terasaka: Itona just insisted Hazama and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.
Terasaka: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.
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Karma, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.
Rio: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.
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Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Kayano: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad…
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*Terasaka falls over*
Hazama: Terasaka! Are you alright?
Terasaka: Is that you, God?
Hazama: What?
Terasaka: It's just, you sound a lot more like Hazama than I expected.
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Gakuhou: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.
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Nagisa: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.
Terasaka: The cow??
Nagisa: What?
Itona: Terasaka, W H Y?
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Gakushuu: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.
Rio: What?
Gakushuu: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?
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Gakushuu, grinning: I have a knife!
Gakuhou: Put it down, Gakushuu.
Gakushuu: Make me! *sprints away*
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Hazama: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?
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Koro-sensei: You need a hobby.
Gakuhou: I have a hobby!
Koro-sensei: Hitting Gakushuu isn't a hobby.
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Gakushuu: I think I need a hug...
Isogai: Good thing I'm hug shaped!
*45 minutes later*
Gakushuu: You... you can let go now.
Isogai: No, I absolutely cannot.
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Karasuma: Guys… the principal just called—
Irina: It was the octopus!
Koro-sensei: It was Karma!
Karma: It was Rio!
Rio: It was me!
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Gakushuu: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!
Karma: Allergies are also a problem, y'know.
Gakushuu: But pink.
Hazama: And it's hot.
Gakushuu: PINK!
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Rio: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?
Isogai: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”
Gakushuu, scoffing: Oh, please.
Isogai, to Gakushuu: Hey, how you doin’?
Gakushuu:
Gakushuu: *giggles and blushes*
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Gakushuu: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?
Irina: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.